And now I was alone in her bed. I couldn’t find a clock—nor did I know what I’d done with my phone—so I had no idea what time it was. Stretching as I stood, I navigated to the bathroom and, because I was already there and it might’ve been closer to morning than night, I brushed my teeth.
Coming out of the bathroom, I found Shelly curled up on the couch under a blanket. Walking quietly to her, I spotted one of the pillows from the bed under her cheek.
She’d taken the sofa, in her own house, and given me the bed. That didn’t make a lick of sense.
I crouched next to her, threading my fingers into the silky hair at her temples. “Honey.”
“Mmm.”
I bent to whisper, “Shelly.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m going to carry you to your bed. I’ll take the sofa.”
“Mmm.”
I grinned at her soft noises, at the untroubled expression on her face, and how her brow, even in sleep, still looked regal and stern.
Sliding my arms under her legs and shoulder, I picked her up. And, unfortunately, that woke her up.
She jerked in my arms. “What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to the bed.”
“Don’t do that.”
“I don’t mind, I’ll take the sofa.” Our mouths were just inches apart, and hers was distracting.
She squirmed. “Put me down.”
Sighing unhappily, I did. I set her on her feet next to the couch. The blanket pooled at her feet and I stepped back to give her some space. It was dark, but I could see her just fine, and that meant I had to force my eyes to remain above her neck. The woman was wearing two pathetic scraps of fabric as pajamas. A thin little tank top and shorts. That’s it.
I set my jaw and turned to the side, waiting for her to walk past.
“Where are you?”
I glanced at her and realized she couldn’t see at all. She didn’t have a hand out, but the way her eyes were moving about the room gave away her blindness.
“I’m here.” I didn’t touch her, because if I did, I wouldn’t want to stop.
Shelly turned her head in my direction and took a deep breath. Still she didn’t reach for me. I didn’t know the specifics of what to expect after her Friday session, but I recalled Dr. West saying something about Shelly doing self-guided ERP exercises over this week.
“Can you see?” She licked her lips, her voice sandpapery. “Because I can’t see at all. It’s so dark.”
“I can see.” Unbidden, my eyes dropped to her body, to the swell of her breasts, the panel of bare stomach, the curve of her hips. Pinpricks of heat raised over my skin and I curled my hands into fists.
She shuffled forward and I caught her before she bumped into me, setting my hands gently at her waist.
“Let me take you to your room.” My voice was rough, for obvious reasons.
Saying nothing, she brought her hand to my forearm, her body gently colliding with mine. And then her hand on my arm slid up my bicep to my shoulder.
“Shelly.” I was running out of breath.
“I like this.”
“What?”
“Touching you.”
Oh fuck.
I held still and endured her hands moving over my body, down the front of my shirt, stopping at the hem, then pushing it up.
“Take this off.”
I did. I pulled the T-shirt over my head and let it drop to the floor.
We stood there, facing each other in the dark, not touching. Despite the session on Friday and the progress that had been made, I realized she wasn’t quite there yet. Dr. West was right, Friday was just a step, the first step. Shelly wasn’t able to initiate contact. Not yet.
Her hands balled into fists and she swayed forward, her breath struggling little puffs.
If anything was going to happen tonight, I had to initiate it. I had to be the one to touch first.
God, how I wanted her. How I wanted her above me, beneath me, surrounding me. But how could I?
“I know why I hesitate,” her voice was breathless, “but why do you hesitate?”
“Lots of reasons.”
“Give me one.”
“I don’t want to use you.”
“I wish you would.”
That pulled a laugh from me, just a small relief from the mounting tension. My eyes moved over her body, an undeniable impulse to devour the sight of her, her legs, stomach, chest, then up her neck to her lips.
“You asked me on Saturday if sex was a big deal for me, or if it was you. The answer is both.”
She held very still, and I got the sense she was holding her breath, straining to listen.
“You are a big deal to me. I don’t want a fling. I don’t want a flirtation. I want promises.”
“What can I promise you?”
That you’ll love me. That I’ll be your priority.
She shifted her weight from foot to foot. A spike of anxiety that she might leave me like this had me acting without forethought. I lifted my hands to her waist again, and immediately, her fingertips skimmed over the skin of my lower stomach in response, making my muscles tense in hot anticipation. She grew more assertive as she caressed my sides, abdomen, ribs, chest, shoulders, and then back down.
Shelly stepped closer, a hint of thrilling contact between her breasts and my torso, and all the words and worries melted from my mind, died on my tongue, suffocated by the feel of her body, and the possibility of this moment.
Her finger hooked in the waistband of my jeans. “Take these off.” Her hand turned, her fingers and palm cupping me over my zipper.
Instinctively, I pressed myself into her touch even as I grabbed her wrist.
“Beau, I promise—”
She didn’t get to speak, because I kissed her, hard and wild, unbuttoning and unzipping my fly with one hand and bringing her palm inside my boxers with the other.
She surged forward, stroking me ardently. I released her wrist and thrust my fingers into the back of her shorts, grabbing two handfuls of perfect ass. Allowing myself a self-indulgent moment to knead and fondle the luscious globes, I then shoved her shorts down her legs.
“What are you doing?” she panted, tearing her lips from mine even as her hand worked me. She didn’t need to, I was already hard. I’d been hard the moment she touched my arm in the dark.
I reached for and into my wallet, and—praise Billy—found three condoms there. My brother was fanatical about making sure we all had condoms, all of the time. Even me.
Unwilling to release her fully, I ripped one open with my teeth.
“Beau?” Her voice was high and uncertain as she clung to me.
Batting her hands away from my dick, I rolled it into place while I bent, suckling her breast into my mouth through the whisper-thin fabric of her top. This thing was ridiculous, more like gauze than fabric.
I loved it.
She arched, her breath hitching when I gave her succulent nipple a little slide of my teeth. I wasn’t finished with her breasts. I wanted them close so I could lick and taste, bouncing in my face while I filled her.
Thinking only of expediency, I backed her up to the wall, my hands sliding around her thighs and lifting her feet from the ground.
“Oh God, we’re really doing this,” she said, like she was surprised we’d arrived here, like she was bracing herself.
“Holy shit,” she said between my kiss assaults, the hot, demanding slide of my mouth and tongue against hers.
Steadying herself by gripping my shoulders, and rolling her hips in search of mine, she blurted, “I just wanted to give you a blow job.”