“I claimed her.” Jenner swallowed and linked his hands behind his head. He nearly choked on the poisonous words as he admitted again, “I claimed her.”
He thought Tobias would be pissed. He thought he would want to fight him, bleed him, because that’s what Tobias did. His bear was a brawler, but instead, pity and understanding slashed through his brother’s green eyes. “You can’t keep her, can you?”
Jenner’s chin trembled, and he swallowed his emotion down, dragged his gaze to the river so his brother wouldn’t see how weak he was. “I can’t keep her. She’s not even having a hard time leaving me. I picked someone who doesn’t feel the same. And it’s good, you know? It’s good for her to leave but fuck it all, I thought it would be harder on her.”
“Like it is on you?”
Jenner nodded and swallowed over and over to keep from retching.
“You marked her?”
“I couldn’t help it.”
“Shit.”
Jenner let off an angry laugh. “Yeah.”
Tobias approached and pulled him into a rough hug, shocking Jenner to complete stillness. “I’m sorry brother. I don’t envy the hurt you’ll feel when she’s gone.” Tobias clapped him so hard on the back, Jenner’s bones rattled, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Jenner gave him a quick hug back before Tobias disengaged. Both of their bears were snarling and enraged, and the pungent stink of dominance was a heavy fog between them, but as Tobias strode for the lodge, Jenner realized this was the first time his brother had embraced him since they were kids. Since before they turned into bears for the first time. Since that first hibernation when Tobias’s bear had tried his damndest to kill him.
So there was the silver lining. He would lose his heart when Lena left. He would lose an important piece of himself, but because of his pain, he’d had this profound moment with Tobias. At least there was that.
Jenner took a long, steadying breath, then walked back to the lodge where Lena was saying goodbye to everyone on the front porch. He rested one boot on the bottom stair and waited for her to finish hugging the Dawsons. With a sympathetic look, Tobias strode past him, loaded down with Lena’s belongings, and headed for the runway. Dalton and Chance pulled Lennard inside, leaving him and Lena alone.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking on the apology.
“Shhh,” she said, cupping his cheek.
He leaned into her touch and scraped his three day scruff against her soft palm, reveling in the last touch he would ever have from her.
“Everything will be okay. You’ll be okay,” she murmured.
The morning sunlight landed in her soft brown eyes, making them look devastatingly beautiful. He couldn’t do this. He had to do this. He wanted to roar and claw and keep her here, but he couldn’t hurt her life like that.
“Say it before I go,” she murmured.
Oh, he knew what she meant. Say the three words he hadn’t yet, but that she had gifted him time and time again. “Why?”
“Because I need to hear it, and you need to say it. Because I want to know this wasn’t just pretend to you.”
He swallowed hard and rasped out, “I love you, Lena.”
Lena let off a soft gasp and closed her eyes, as if she’d been waiting for those words all her life. Unable to help himself, Jenner leaned forward and kissed her, and slowly, she softened against him and parted her lips, allowing him to brush his tongue against hers for the last time. Last taste. Last kiss. Not enough.
Lena looked devastated when she pulled away, but instead of saying anything, she handed him an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“A tip. You earned it. You saved me in more ways than you know.”
Jenner opened it and, sure enough, there was a small stack of twenty dollar bills inside. He shook his head and handed it back to her. “It doesn’t feel right taking a tip from you.”
“Why not?”
“Because”—he kissed her palm to stall and steady his voice—“you gave me the best days of my life. Can’t you see your money will taint that?”
Lena clutched the envelope to her chest and nodded. With a sad smile, she murmured, “Goodbye, Jenner.” She brushed past him but not before he saw a single, glistening tear track down her cheek.
She walked toward where Tobias waited on the edge of the woods and didn’t look back.
He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t watch her walk out of his life. His bear shredded his insides as he jogged toward the trees on the opposite side of the clearing. His boots crunched across the earth as he picked up his pace.
He was going to Change, and he didn’t want her to see him lose it. Lose her. Lose himself.
Bye, Lena.
****
Lena gasped as the woods shook with a deafening roar. There was such agony in it.
Tobias threw a pitying look to the woods behind them but kept walking.
God, that had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done, pretend to say goodbye to him. But if she told him what she was thinking, he would make a harder run at pushing her away, and she couldn’t handle that right now. Not after everything they’d been through.