“Oh.” She dropped her gaze to his boots so she wouldn’t be tempted to stare at his eight pack abs as heat flushed her cheeks.
“Hey,” he murmured, lifting her chin until she met his gaze. “It has nothing to do with whether I’m attracted to you or not. I’m just not gentle enough, you understand?”
“Of course.” But she didn’t. As he walked back toward the horses, pulling his shirt on as he went, she was more confused by him than ever. She’d practically offered herself on a silver platter, and he wasn’t interested in even trying to be gentle with her?
Dalton had been right. Jenner wasn’t the right man to give her heart.
Too bad she hadn’t listened.
Chapter Six
Dammit, that had been close. Too close. Jenner slung his leg over his horse’s saddle and scrubbed his hand over his face to try and clear the visions that were running a loop across his mind. Her lips parted for him. The feel of her perfect, soft tit in his palm. His hand between her legs. So wet for him. The small, needy gasps she gave him every time he touched her skin. And the look of heart-stomping disappointment on her face when he’d scrambled away from her. Blame it on her dropping the V-bomb all he wanted to, but it was bullshit. That entire sexy encounter had been his fault. He’d kissed her angry, unable to help himself, gotten turned on as fuck when she’d slapped him, and then he’d taken everything way too far, way too fast.
He couldn’t even look at Lena as she hoisted herself into the saddle. She smelled so good right now, like pheromones and sex, and it was all for him.
Six hours. He’d made it six hours before going after her. It wasn’t because he’d been in a dry spell with women either. Lena called to his bear in ways that were terrifying. He was the one in control. Out of his brothers, Tobias and Ian, he had been the one with the most restraint, and now look at him. Around Lena, he always felt on the verge of a Change, and for no damned reason other than he was trying to deny his feelings for her. His inner bear didn’t like that. Mine. The word brushed his mind every half an hour, at least. He wanted her so bad it was hard to look away from her, but just as hard to see her hurting because of him. Trapped. A couple of days, and she’d trapped him as surely as Brea had.
Jenner kicked his horse and cast Lena a quick glance to make sure she was following. She wouldn’t meet his gaze, and it ripped him up. He’d done that—made her feel less than.
He’d bonded before. Age twenty, cocky as hell and ready to conquer the world, he’d met Brea right out of hibernation. And for that warm season, he’d been blindingly happy. Six months felt like forever, but it wasn’t until later he realized it was his bear forging a bond that had nothing to do with compatibility and everything to do with instinct. To his knowledge, Ian and Tobias hadn’t had those urges until Ian went and got himself married last month. He’d gone to that wedding because Elyse had begged him to go, but that wasn’t the only reason he’d made the trip to his brother’s and new mate’s homestead. Jenner had wanted to see for himself if what Ian and Elyse had was real because, dammit, after Brea, Jenner had been convinced the instinct to procreate and pair up trumped love matches. But Elyse had been as smitten with Ian as his brother had been with her, and the look in their eyes as they said their vows had dumped Jenner’s world upside down. They weren’t paired up because Ian’s bear wanted cubs. On the contrary, Ian didn’t want cubs at all. Didn’t want his sons to face hibernation like the rest of their lineage. No, Ian had paired up with Elyse because he, as well as his bear, were completely and ridiculously devoted to the woman.
Jenner wanted that.
Now that there was hope for a loving match for a monster like him, it was impossible not to think about Lena as his mate. It was hard to hate the bond that he could feel forming between them. But she had a life and an important job that required her to travel all over the world. He couldn’t strap her to Alaska and to six months of cold and loneliness every year when he went to sleep each winter. It wasn’t fair to her.
Sex with her would make it impossible to let her go. Sex would seal their bond and sever any chance he had of moving on. The only reason he’d been able to break the bond with Brea was that his bear was a true animal and couldn’t stand the thought of raising another man’s child. If he was just a man, perhaps he could’ve looked past the fact that she’d started their relationship newly pregnant. Perhaps he could’ve even gotten over the lies and trusted her eventually. But he was only half man, and his animal side had revolted the moment that doctor told them she was having a girl—another male’s offspring. Bear shifters, as well as wolf shifters, didn’t produce female children.
And after Brea, he’d been jaded, convinced that love was reserved for good, normal people—not an animal like him.
But Lena…