Be the Girl

I smile. “Thanks for today. I had a great time.”

She takes my hand in hers, first to study my indigo-blue nail polish, but then to give my fingers a squeeze. “We should do that again. Soon.”

“Deal.”

She frowns at the back seat, filled with shopping bags of winter clothes and boots for both of us. “Maybe in spring, when I’m earning a paycheck again.”

Cassie is waiting at the passenger side door by the time I’ve stepped out. “They’re playing hockey,” she announces, a hot chocolate mustache lining her upper lip.

“I see that. How are your nails doing?”

She holds them up with a sheepish grin to show me the bits of silver polish left. “I picked them.”

“Oh, Cassie.” I shake my head but laugh and she joins in.

“Are you coming over to watch a movie with us tonight?”

“I … uh … I have plans?”

Her eyes grow curious. “What are you doing?”

“Uh …” I don’t want to lie to her, but I remember what happened the last time she found out we were going to a party. Upsetting her might be worse.

“Hey, AJ! You’re coming to Mower’s house tonight?” Zach bellows.

And I guess that makes my decision easy.

“Is there a party?” Cassie asks and, in the next breath, “Can I come?”

Shit. “I think we have to ask your brother?”

“Emmett!” she hollers, unbothered that there’s a hockey game in progress. “Can I come to the party?”

Emmett makes a time-out gesture with his hands and trots over, throwing Zach a dirty look. He stops next to me, out of breath, his forehead glistening with a sheen of sweat. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

His hand settles on the small of my back, but he doesn’t lean in to kiss me and I can’t decide if I’m disappointed or relieved.

His eyes roam the back seat. “Did your mom’s card start smoking?”

I laugh. “Almost.”

“Emmett, can I come with you and AJ to the party tonight?” Cassie pushes.

He sighs heavily. “You wouldn’t like it …”

“Please?” she pleads, and I can hear the raw emotion in her voice. “Please, can I go? I never get to go.”

His throat bobs with a hard swallow, his brown eyes darting to mine, begging for a way out of his guilt.

I can’t help him much, because I’m feeling guilty now, too. “It’s within walking distance …” I say low, more to him. “It’d be easy enough to walk her back if she wanted to come home. She could stick with us.”

He nods slowly, as if deciding something. “Okay, fine. If Mom is okay with it, then—”

“Mom!” Cassie’s already gone, galloping up the path toward the house.

Emmett groans. “She’s going to kill me for putting that on her.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. We’ll keep an eye on her. It’s one night and you can’t keep her in a bubble forever. It’s not fair to her.”

“I know. It’s just …”

“How much trouble can she really get into? She’s, like, the most predictable person I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Until she’s not.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why I’m so worried.”

“Because you’re a good brother and you care about her? But she’ll be with us and all your friends who know her and wouldn’t let anything happen to her, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” He leans down to kiss me.

“Ticktock!” Zach shouts. “And nice friend, by the way, moving in on the girl as soon as you find out I like her.”

My cheeks burn as eyes all around the cul-du-sac—including Mark’s—land on me.

Emmett snorts, stepping away with a grin. “You never had a chance, Farmer.”





A knock sounds on the front door as I’m finishing up the last coat of mascara.

“Hey, guys!” I hear my mom say. “Cassie, I didn’t know you were going, too.”

“Yeah, my mom let me. She said I have to stay with AJ and Emmett.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’m sure they’ll take good care of you.”

I can hear it in her voice—the relief. If Heather and Mark are allowing Cassie to come out, they must feel comfortable with the people we’ll be with, and that means my mom can relax a bit.

I pull my bedroom door shut behind me and ease down the stairs.

Mom nods with approval at the fitted black jeans and periwinkle off-the-shoulder knit sweater we picked out today.

“Your hair is wavy,” Cassie announces, her inquisitive blue eyes roaming my long locks as if memorizing each curve. She’s wearing a pair of black leggings and a flattering striped shirt. It’s a simple but more mature, coordinated outfit than she usually wears to school, with no animal prints or logos. Bracelets adorn her wrist and her hair has been straightened and styled. I’m guessing Heather helped her dress for tonight.

I shrug. “I felt like something different today.” Something special, to ring in my sixteenth year.

Emmett stands beside her, wearing dark-wash jeans and a wool jacket, the collar flipped up, and looking more like a magazine cover model than a high school kid.

“And you’re wearing more makeup.” Cassie squints as I approach. “You have eyeliner … mascara … eyeshadow …”

“Okay, enough analyzing her.” Emmett chuckles and shakes his head. He leans in to whisper something to her.

“Yeah.” Cassie nods, grinning. “You look pretty, AJ. For your birthday.”

“Thank you.” I bend to zip up my camel-colored boots, but also to hide my blush.

“You have your phone?” My mom hands me my jacket.

“Of course.”

“Okay. Have fun. Remember, twelve o’clock or you’re a pumpkin.” It was easier to get her to agree to a later curfew than I’d expected.

Cassie laughs. “Hey! Just like Cinderella!”

“You’re right, Cassie.” My mom grins, the tension that normally floats around her missing. “And Aria?” Her eyes flicker to Emmett for the briefest second. “Make good choices.”





19





Mower’s family lives in a split-level house on a quiet street of older homes and large lots. We could hear the steady thrum of music all the way around the corner on our approach, and every time someone opens the front door, it blasts into the night.

“What are the chances someone’s going to call the police on us?” I ask as we turn into the driveway.

“The police are coming?” Cassie’s eyes widen with fear.

“No.” I forget that she takes things so literally. “Only if a neighbor complains about the music being too loud. But we won’t get in trouble. Don’t worry. They’ll just tell us to be quiet.” By kicking us out and shutting down the party, but I don’t need to get into those details.

Six people linger on the porch, laughing and puffing on cigarettes. A haze wafts up into the cool night air.

“They’re smoking!” Cassie hisses.

“Just like they do outside at school,” Emmett responds in a low, calm voice. “You’re going to see people smoking and drinking and doing other things here tonight, Cass. As long as you don’t do any of it and you act cool, you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I know.” She stands taller, schooling her expression, her demeanor visibly shifting as if she’s making a conscious effort to blend in. Meanwhile, there’s a touch of wild panic flickering in her blue-gray eyes as they take in this new sight, unsure of where to land.

“As soon as you feel like leaving, let us know and we’ll walk you home.”

“Okay!” Her voice is full of irritation.

He sighs heavily, his hand settling on the small of my back.

The moment we step inside, I wonder if bringing Cassie here was a huge mistake. Maybe Mower’s plan was to have “a few people over” but the entire house is crammed with bodies—many faces I recognize from school, some I don’t.

And one—a beautiful face with a fake, sweet smile—that I’d prefer not to see tonight, or any other night.

At least Holly’s across the room. She’s leaning against the wall, fawning over Adam Levic, the guy Emmett punched out last year for being an asshole to Cassie, according to Jen.

I guess she’s found a guy more like her. Maybe this means she’ll move on from attacking me.