Barbarian Box Set: Barbarians of Zandipor Books One, Two and Three

Her eyes widen like a reqor flower when she sees the arrows of Cookie Monster in the many fanged beast’s soum.

The pink Sandroka turns and gasps when she sees the swift and powerful Cookie Monster approaching. She tries to move the beast to come and give her new mate her sweet and delicious culip but the many fanged beast is too heavy.

So she sings to her new mate instead.

“What the fuck are you?” she sings in a glorious voice. She pulls out an arrow from the soum of the beast and holds it out for Cookie Monster to take. She is thoughtful and kind. Cookie Monster loves her already.

“You take one more step and I’m going to make you into an alien brochette, you got that?”

Cookie Monster could listen to her magnificent voice all day. She is pure magic.

He takes a knee beside her and reaches out to his new mate, excited to claim her. She snarls like a wicker as he reaches out to take back his arrow.

She gives him back his arrow.

But not the way that Cookie Monster was expecting.





three




“I warned you!” I scream as I thrust the arrow forward, shoving it into the big blue palm that’s reaching out to me.

The alien jumps back with a grunt, staring at his hand in horror. His arrow is sticking out of it looking like a sixth finger.

He’s an alien with alien features but the look of betrayal on his face is unmissable. I almost feel bad for a second.

“Stay back!” I warn as I grab another arrow from the dead velociraptor’s chest and thrust it at him. He flinches, his mouth falling open as he stares at me with wide eyes.

Fuck, I hate this planet.

I glance down at the arrow in my clenched hand. There’s a sharpened rock fastened to the end of the stick with lines of colorful feathers sticking out of the back. This alien dude is wearing an animal skin loincloth and he has a bow in his hand. It’s my first view of an intelligent creature on this fucking planet and I’ve already made an enemy out of him.

“Just keep your distance,” I warn as I place my free foot on the body of the velociraptor and try to push it off. It won’t fucking budge. And it’s crushing my leg.

I drop the arrow on the ground and use both of my hands and free leg to try and push it off but I can’t make it move more than an inch. I’m weaker than normal. All I’ve been eating are those nasty tasting bugs that I found crawling under the rocks in the cave.

I’m breathing heavy and I’m already exhausted as I slump back down with the dead velociraptor still on my leg.

The alien is still staring at his hand, watching it with horror as pink blood starts pouring out of the wound and leaking down his arm.

He looks so strange. His skin is blue. Fucking blue. I shouldn’t be so surprised because everything on this cursed planet is more colorful than on earth, but blue skin? It still catches me off guard and I can’t help but stare.

His hair is a darker shade of blue and it’s tied up in a bun on top of his head. His face looks human enough but his chin is wider, like a heavyweight boxer who has developed a thick chin after a lifetime of taking punches to it. His nose is narrow and long, and his eyes a stunning turquoise. I can’t stop staring at him.

I’ve seen a lot of jacked guys in the many gyms that I’ve hung around in my life, but he is jacked. Thick sinewy muscles on his huge arms and a big broad chest. A big broad blue chest.

His abs have abs. I would kill to see this guy’s work out regime. What he does for exercise. What he eats for his diet.

He probably eats earthling women.

Well, he’s not eating me.

My heart starts pounding as he closes his eyes and grips his thick blue fingers around the arrow sticking out of his palm, courtesy of me. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and yanks it out with a grunt.

I’ve seen a lot of blood in my day but I still have to turn away. It’s gushing out of him, tip tapping onto the dirt as he shoves the arrow back into the quill strapped to his back.

He moves forward and I pick up the arrow by my side and thrust it back at him. Did I say intelligent life? On second thought, this guy is not too fucking smart.

“Stay back,” I say again, holding the arrow up. “I’ll turn your body into Swiss cheese, I swear.”

His hand darts out in a blur and he snaps the arrow out of my hand and shoves it back into his quiver in one fast fluid motion.

I yank out the third and last arrow from the chest of the velociraptor but before I can thrust it at him he grabs it out of my hand and makes it disappear behind his back.

“Oh shit,” I whisper as I cock my fists in front of my face. And I thought I was fast.

He lunges forward and I let my right hand fly, cracking my fist with a thunderous punch on his chin. He just shakes off my best punch and reaches past me, placing his two open palms on the dead dinosaur on my leg. With a grunt, he pushes it over and I snap my leg back, finally free.

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