“I was ready!”
“No, you weren’t,” I disagreed. “Because someone who respected me and trusted me would know that I’m not out to fucking control you or change you. I don’t want a Stepford girlfriend. I don’t want to stand in front of you and keep you from things, and I certainly don’t want to be pushing you from behind. All I want is someone who trusts me enough to know I never ask for anything other than respect and trust. And when you jumped that day, you robbed me of both. That’s what this is about.”
I stepped past her and shoved my way through the crowd on my way out, anger blinding me to every goddamn thing other than getting outside where I could breathe.
The oppressive summer night air hit my face as I shoved through the door, and it did nothing to relieve the choking, clawing feeling in my chest.
“Goddammit!” I yelled, startling a group of scantily clad women standing next to the building, smoking.
I stood there for five minutes trying to get my thoughts together. Truthfully, I guess part of me was hoping Cassie would chase me down. Tell me I was wrong. Tell me she wanted all of the same things I wanted.
But just like the times she’d fallen asleep during sex, my satisfaction never came.
It had been the week from hell. Every night I had slept in my shitty Chelsea apartment and wished I were in a California King in Midtown, enveloped in the arms of the one man I couldn’t get out of my head.
But I didn’t have time to sulk and mope.
I had to get my head straight for a big shoot for Cosmopolitan this evening.
It was a huge sixteen-page spread for their November issue, and I should have been excited about it. I should have been damn near brimming with energy over the idea of getting behind the lens, but thoughts of Thatch and me and us and everything that went wrong sat at the precipice of my mind, and I was having a hell of a time thinking about anything but him.
Fuck. Get it together. This is your career you’re screwing with here.
Plus, you’re driving a fucking sweet-ass convertible right now…
Which I was. When Cosmo had made the arrangements, I had offered to pick up the cherry-red Porsche prior to the shoot. Of course, those arrangements had solely been based on selfish motives and I had made sure I had the entire afternoon to drive this pretty baby around the city.
And God, she drove like a dream—cruising through the city with a quiet purr and taking turns with ease. It was a rare and refreshing experience to drive after living in a city where people rarely owned cars. There was just something about being behind the wheel, music blaring, roof open, and wind in my hair.
My mood started to lift as I weaved in and out of traffic, making stops at random for my Monday errands. After barely missing a parking citation for parking outside of Starbucks illegally, I headed toward Midtown and stopped at the dry cleaner. I was in and out of the quaint family business before the parking meter ran out of its measly ten minutes.
Stuck at a stoplight, I glanced in the rearview mirror and caught sight of Thatch’s cleanly pressed suits lying across the back seat.
“Oh, shit,” I muttered.
Did I really just pick up his dry cleaning?
It was like I had completely forgotten about everything that had happened—the breakup, the other night at the bar, him not wanting to be with me anymore.
“Fuck. Why did I do that?” I said to no one in particular.
You know why, you idiot…
I mentally chastised myself and refused to let my thoughts wander back to that sad place where I had to come to terms with the fact that Thatch wasn’t mine. That we weren’t together. That things were over between us.
“Fuck!” I shouted and turned up the volume to drown out my racing thoughts.
And I forced my brain to focus on my shoot as I headed for location.
“That’s perfect, Eduardo. Just tilt your head slightly up and to the right,” I instructed as he leaned against the Porsche with the New York skyline resting behind him.
I snapped a few photos from a side angle before changing positions and lying on my belly to grab some shots looking up at him.
“I never get to see you anymore, Cassie,” he said and hitched his hip against the car. “I don’t like it.” He flashed a playful smile in my camera’s direction. Eduardo was a male model I had known for years. He was about as attractive as one would imagine a male model would be, and I had noticed that very fact on more than one occasion. Believe me, we had experienced our fair share of afternoon shoots and late-night sex together.
I shook my head to clear it. The thought of him and me together made me feel dirty. Wrong. Uncomfortable.
He gave his signature smirk. “I think we should change that, gorgeous. Come out with me tonight after we’re done here.”
I paused behind my lens for the briefest of seconds as a million emotions ran through my veins and straight to my heart.