I got up to sit beside her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay. Well, first, I wanted to make sure I was . . . worthy of you.” When I opened my mouth to protest, she put up her hand. “Before I came here, I’d never lived alone before. I’ve always had roommates, or lived with Dad, or . . . Troy. And after what happened last year, it became even more important for me to learn self-reliance. To be confident that I could deal with my own problems. If we lived together, it would be too tempting to depend on you, and I wouldn’t learn anything about myself. I’d just be relying on you.”
“But you’re amazing in your own right,” I teased. “It doesn’t matter who you’re with.”
She smiled despite herself. “Thanks, Nolan. For what it’s worth, I think you do make me a better person. But not in an unhealthy way, if that makes sense. You’re not a crutch, or my ‘other half,’ or whatever. I wanted to find out whether I was a whole person who really brought something to our relationship. Does that make any sense?”
I rubbed my chin. “I think so. You want to be with me because you want me, not because you need me.”
Smiling, she nodded quickly. “That’s exactly it. Us being equal partners is really important to me.”
I reached my arm around her shoulders to give her an encouraging squeeze. “And your other reason?”
“I also . . . wanted to give you your space. I know you were the one asking to move in together, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you ever feeling trapped again.” She dropped her gaze and bit her lip. “Some part of me was secretly afraid that, one day, you’d come to your senses. And if we were living together, that would make it a lot harder to do what was right for you.”
“You mean dump you?”
Her voice was very small. “Yeah.”
I brought my other arm up to hug her. “Sweetheart, it means a lot to hear you care so much about my feelings. But managing them isn’t your job—I can handle myself.” I took her chin, turning her face toward me. “And I’m not sure how I could ever fall out of love with you.”
Before I met Lacey, I had thought I was taking life easy. But it wasn’t really an easy life if I had to work so hard to maintain it—building my walls high, suspicious of any surprise, shunning any connection that might demand too much. Like living as a guest in my own home, afraid to touch or peer too deeply into anything.
Lacey had shown me how good it felt to drop those inhibitions. To be caught off guard, to lose control, to let life wash over me with all its messy entanglements and contradictions. Being with her, I realized what home was supposed to feel like.
She held out her hand and I slipped the ring onto her finger. I wasn’t much of a jewelry guy, but the sparkly rock on her slim finger was stunning. Even more so because of what it signified. She was going to be mine forever.
Then I kissed her again tenderly, taking my time and luxuriating in her warmth. Whatever this life threw at us next, I couldn’t wait to share it with Lacey—my biggest surprise, my best contradiction, my brightest light.
She’d been the one running, but somehow she’d chased away all my demons and forced me to see what was right in front of me. We’d saved each other in the process, and now she was mine. And I was hers. A thought that didn’t scare me, but instead made me feel whole.
“I love you,” I whispered, bringing her mouth to mine to steal one more kiss.
Author’s Note
This story is unconventional, and that was intentional on my part. Thousands of romance novels are published every year, and many follow the same formula. As a reader, I always get excited when an author takes a risk and writes something outside the box, or reimagines an old concept, breathing fresh life into it. My hope is that you enjoyed this story and that it was a unique experience for you. I am happy that I got to tell it.
While writing this book, I experienced my own traumatic life-threatening event. I haven’t talked about it with many people, but I’m ready to share it now with you. One afternoon last fall, I was followed, stalked, and threatened by a man who—the only way I can say it—went crazy and came after me. I had to call 911, and I honestly feared for my life.