The bookstore was great. I loved my job. I had been there about two weeks, and it was fantastic. It was keeping me busy and helping to keep my mind off Chace and Christina. However, as soon as I’d get home and was alone, the pain would return. I still couldn’t understand how anyone could do that to a person they cared about. I guess he didn’t love me after all, and she was never really a friend.
Some days were worse than others. I would go home and cry and dive straight into a tub of peanut butter and ice cream. It didn’t take me long to figure out that it made more sense if I mixed an entire jar of peanut butter through my tub of ice cream. I was saving time and could eat more sweet-and-salty goodness.
Other days I felt furious—angry at them, but also mad at myself for even caring. Those days I spent running and working out instead of eating. I ran out my frustrations at myself for being so pathetic that I still cared about him, and I punched out my anger at them for doing something so heartless.
But the bookstore was my saving grace. I loved being surrounded by books, and the Romanovs were beautiful people. I spent my days cleaning and cataloguing the novels and helping customers. When there was nothing to do, I got to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and read. I couldn’t ask for a better place to work.
The money I earned from working nearly every day was unbelievable. Within two weeks, I completely made over my wardrobe. Gone were the polo shirts and floral dresses to be replaced only with clothes I felt comfortable wearing.
I dyed my hair as well. I decided it was better to go back to my natural dark brown instead of the platinum blonde Christina had talked me into years ago.
“We can be twins. It’ll be great,” she’d said. Yeah, I didn’t want to be her twin any longer. I wanted as much distance between us as possible in a town as small as Blackhill.
It was a slow day, so I was curled up on the sofa re-reading The Outsiders, one of my favourite books, when the bell above the door alerted me to a customer. Placing my bookmark between the pages, I made my way to the counter and waited to see if they needed help.
“Mrs. R? Hello?” he called. “Excuse me? Can you help me with something?” he asked.
I froze. No way. He couldn’t be in here. Could he? I thought I had imagined things.
“Excuse me?” he called again. I didn’t want to turn around, but I had to. If he was a customer, then I needed to put on my big girl panties and face him. I hadn’t seen him since that day the road trip from hell finally ended.
Taking a deep breath, I turned around slowly, hoping the voice belonged to someone else. But it didn’t. It was him. I stared at him in shock, still unsure why he was there. He was looking at me the same way.
“Bailey?” He furrowed his eyebrows and stepped closer to me. I nodded and bit my lip, unsure of what else to say. The last time I had seen him, I wasn’t exactly the model of self-control.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, sounding as surprised as I felt at seeing him here of all places. A bookstore. The last place I’d ever imagine him stepping foot.
“I work here. Why are you here, Ryder? This is the last place I’d expect to see you.” I started fidgeting with the books on the shelves next to me to keep from looking at him.
“I like to read.” I felt him staring at me. “You look different. I like the hair.” He reached across and flicked a few strands of my newly darkened locks before looking slowly down my body.
“Uhm, thanks. I needed the change,” I muttered uncomfortably. I didn’t know how to react to him staring at me the way he was. He had never paid me this much attention before. No one had. Except for Chace, and that ended wonderfully.
“Well, you look hot. Chace is gonna piss himself when he sees you next. Christina’s got nothin’ on you,” he said. I felt my lips curl into a small smile, making Ryder’s lips spread into a heart-stopping smile that showed off his beautiful dimples, which I’d somehow never noticed before. He knew just what to say.
“Bet you don’t smile too often lately cause of that douche, huh?” he whispered. I shook my head in response, wondering why he was there and why he was talking to me. I hadn’t spoken to him since the day he picked me up. I’d shut myself off from the world, and by the time I’d ventured back out into reality, I thought it was too late. I felt terrible for ignoring him after he’d gone out of his way to bring me home when I was upset.
“So you decided to show them you don’t need them?” It took me a moment to realise what he was talking about.
“Yeah, I realised you were right. I don’t want them to know how much I’m hurting. I want them to see that I don’t care. Maybe if I can convince them, I will convince myself too. So what can I help you with?”
“That’s good. You shouldn’t waste your time moping over him of all people. He’s a dick,” Ryder said. I burst out laughing.
“Yes, he is.” I nodded. It felt good to be able to laugh with someone.
“If you really wanna show them you don’t care and that you’re happy, you need to move on, get yourself another boyfriend. It will kill him to see you happy with someone else. Trust me.” He smirked, raising an eyebrow. I wasn’t sure about that. Chace had never really been the jealous type, and if he’d cared, he wouldn’t have dumped me for Christina. Besides, I was still hurting and wasn’t sure I trusted anyone else yet. How could I trust anyone with my heart when the two most important people in my life had betrayed me?
“I’m not ready for a new relationship. You make it sound so easy. Like going to the store and buying a new one.” I shook my head at him. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t find a boyfriend that quickly. Against my better judgment, I still loved Chace.
“It is that easy,” he said, biting the ring that pierced the side of his bottom lip.
“Yeah, for you. A walking sex god.” He raised a pierced eyebrow and chuckled.
“Sex god?”
“Oh! Did I say that out loud?” I asked, my cheeks heating up. I ducked my head in embarrassment.
“Yes, you did. Glad to know you think I’m so hot. I’ll help you with the boyfriend thing. As I said at the end of the year, I want to make him suffer just as much as you have, if not more.”
“Why?” I looked up at him. His eyes clouded over before he shook his head as though to clear an unwanted thought.
“I have my reasons. Just know I’m more than happy to help you.”