“You’re awake, love.” He smiled at me when he saw me sitting up, bringing the tray over to the small table beside my bed. I suddenly became all too aware of the fact that I was completely naked with nothing covering me but a blanket. I pulled it up around my shoulders, trying to save some of my modesty.
“Uhm…what?” I started to ask Ryder what had happened and why we lacked clothes when a clap of thunder boomed over the house, making me jump almost out of my skin. The blanket I’d been using to cover up slipped down to my waist. I felt my cheeks warm as I realised everything was on display for him and quickly pulled the cover up again.
Ryder let out a soft chuckle. “No need to be embarrassed. I’ve seen it all before, yeah?” His tone wasn’t mocking but was calm and reassuring because he was right. He had seen it all before, just that morning in fact. But perhaps it was because we were in a different situation to the one we were in that morning that I felt more exposed and awkward. Vulnerable.
“You need to eat and drink. Build your strength back up.” He handed me the coffee and brushed a stray strand of hair from my face. “You scared me earlier. You were so out of it.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, bringing the mug to my mouth and inhaling the comforting scent. I wasn’t even sure what had happened earlier. The events were all a little fuzzy.
“I got you some warm clothes, and I hope you don’t mind that I put mine in the dryer.” Ryder watched me as I sipped on the coffee, allowing it to warm my veins. I nibbled at the toast, not realising how I hungry I had been until then.
“That’s fine. Thank you.” We sat in silence a while longer while I ate the toast and drank the coffee.
“So we have a lot to discuss then.” He winced as he spoke. We did? I raised my eyebrow at him, unsure of what he was talking about.
“Chace, this morning. The fight. Last night. The…the…b…baby.” Ryder closed his eyes as he tried to jog my memory. It all came rushing back in like a flood of information. My brain suddenly cleared, and I remembered everything from that morning. Chace and Christina telling me Ryder had a secret family, leaving school in the rain, Chace driving me home, him and Ryder fighting in the front yard, me almost contracting hypothermia, and Ryder drying me off and keeping me warm, practically saving my life.
“Do you have a kid?” I blurted out without thinking. Ryder looked taken aback briefly but quickly managed to compose himself.
“No. Well, sort of, I guess. He’s not mine, though.” He ran a hand through his curls and closed his eyes. “Uhm, I think it’s best if I start from the beginning.” He knotted his hands together. I felt so confused. How could he have a kid but not at the same time? It made no sense.
“Okay. Uhm, do you think, maybe you can let me dress first? I’m kind of cold,” I said. He nodded and walked out of the room, leaving me alone to gather my thoughts and my clothes. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to say, but at the same time, I couldn’t keep guessing and trying to work out what he was hiding. I needed to know but was scared of what the truth could be. I quickly pulled on the clothes that Ryder had set out for me on my bed and waited for him to return. It seemed like hours later when the door finally creaked open slowly and Ryder’s head poked through.
“Good?” he asked, making sure he was okay to come in.
“Yeah.” I watched as the door opened to reveal a completely dried and dressed Ryder. He smiled a half smile and nervously ran his hands through his hair as he came to sit beside me on my bed.
“I need you to remember one thing,” he said, watching and waiting for me to answer. Unsure if my voice would even work now, I felt a lump forming in my throat. I nodded instead. “This thing between you and me.” He gestured between us. “It’s real. No matter what I’m about to tell you, just remember that it’s you, Bailey. It’s always been you.”
My heart stuttered at his words, at the confirmation I’d wanted to hear for weeks, that it wasn’t just me, and he felt it too. But with those words came a feeling of dread. Like whatever he was about to say would overshadow those few words and rip everything apart.
“How much do you remember of me before you and Chace started dating?” he asked. It was an entirely random question and not what I was expecting at all.
“Uhm, a little, I guess. It’s kind of a blur. I don’t really remember much of you until after you came back.”
“I thought so. We’ve been going to school together since third grade, but I was always just a shadow. I never really made much of an impression on anyone.” He looked down, sad. I felt terrible and confused as to how I could have overlooked someone as amazing as Ryder all those years.
“I wasn’t always the bad boy. I hate that people label me that. I’m not a bad boy. You know that. You’ve seen that. I’ve just been dealing with a lot of stuff the past couple of years. But I’m not bad.
“The baby you asked me about is my nephew. My twin sister’s son. That’s what I’ve been dealing with. Helping her raise him. Not a secret family of my own and not a string of girls climbing in and out of my bed every other night. That reputation is all lies. One some girls made up to make themselves look better. I never stopped it because I never cared what people thought of me.”
His nephew? My mouth dropped open in shock. I knew he wasn’t a bad boy. But I had no idea he had a twin sister. Or nephew. She must have been so young and terrified. I couldn’t imagine going through that. So that was what Ryder had been doing. He’d been looking after his sister and her son. But I still didn’t understand how I could have known him since third grade and only started paying attention to him the last couple of years.
“Your nephew? Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked him, feeling hurt that he thought he should hide it from me.
“This is where it gets complicated and messy.” He sighed as he reached out for my hand. I let him twist our fingers together and waited for him to speak. “My sister had been with her boyfriend since they were thirteen. He was my best mate. We’d grown up together riding bikes and playing football in the street. He was charming. He outshone everyone. I couldn’t compare next to him. He was the golden boy, and I was nobody. No one ever saw me.”