I lean over and whisper, "Just so you know, I'm semi-drunk and horny as hell, so you can either drag me upstairs and take care of this problem, or I'll have to resort to self-service in the bathroom."
As expected, those words snap his last ounce of restraint, and with a low growl, he pulls me to my feet.
"Uh, Cassie and I will be back in a minute." He guides me out of my chair. "She wants to see some old pics of Quinn as Romeo and me as Mercutio. Back in five. Ten at the most."
"No problem," his mom says as she starts to clear the table. "I'll have dessert ready when you get back. Come on guys. All of this can be cleared."
Everyone joins her in carrying plates and platters into the kitchen as Ethan takes off and practically drags me upstairs to his room. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that whenever sex is on the line, Ethan is sure to show glimpses of why he was a track champion in high school.
As soon as we're inside his room, he shuts the door and pushes me up against it.
"I've been waiting for this all night."
He leans in to kiss me, but I put my hands on his chest to stop him.
"Ethan, wait. We need to talk."
He looks disappointed. "I thought you brought me up here to treat me like a sexual object. Were you deceiving me, Cassandra Marie Taylor? Because that's not the least bit cool."
"Well, I think that's hypocritical from the man who's been keeping important facts from me."
Now he looks confused.
"I need you to tell me about your lunch with Vanessa."
"You said you didn't want to hear about that."
"I know, but it turns out, I do. The thought of her alone with you drives me crazy, and even though I've been trying to put it out of my mind and move on, I can't." My voice is rising in pitch, even though I'm trying to stay calm.
"Cassie, it's fine. I'll tell you everything, okay? Is that why you're upset?"
I look down at my hands on his chest. "I overhead your phone call to her the morning after we ran into her. Jesus, Ethan. You couldn't even wait twenty-four hours to suggest meeting up? Is she who you've been texting all night? Because I know it's not Marco. And trust me when I say that if a single lie comes out of your mouth right now, I'm going to beat the crap out of you with your mother's baby Jesus candlesticks."
All of a sudden, my pulse is racing, and I can't get enough air. Then I'm gripping the front of his shirt so tightly, my knuckles are white.
Dammit. I wanted to stay calm and discuss this like an adult, but even thinking him hurting me again brings me to the verge of a panic attack.
Ethan pushes my hair away from my face and strokes my cheek. "Cassie, just breathe. Nothing bad is happening, I promise. I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"Ethan ..." My voice shakes. "If you're leaving me to go back to her, just tell me. I can deal with it. I'm a big girl."
Of course I'm lying. If he leaves me again, I'll never recover.
"Cassie." He pulls back and looks me in the eye. "I'm not leaving you. Ever. Take some deep breaths."
I close my eyes and concentrate on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Each exhale calms me a little more. When I'm almost back to normal, I look up at Ethan and shake my head.
"Ethan, I –"
He bends down and gives me a soft, deep kiss that calms me even more. He understands how it feels to have your brain continually whisper the worst possible scenario, so he knows how to handle it.
When he pulls back from the kiss, there's still tension in my muscles, but at least I'm no longer shaking.
"I love you," he tells me, quietly. "I'm counting down the days until I become your husband. Why the hell would you think I'm leaving you?"
"That phone call. The morning after we saw Vanessa. I'm sorry I eavesdropped. That was wrong, but I –"
"That call was to Dr. Kate. I called to tell her about what happened and how it affected me. I know you don't like me bothering her out of office hours, but I thought running into the woman who destroyed me was important enough to break that rule. Vanessa was a huge part of my therapy sessions, so Kate knows how much crap I went through to get to the other side. She suggested we should schedule some time together since she hadn't seen me for a few months. That's who I was arranging to meet."
"Dr. Kate?" I let out a short laugh. "Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense."
"You thought I was talking to Vanessa?"
I nod.
He gives me a heartbreakingly tender look. "Sweetheart, I didn't even have solid plans to see Vanessa until you told me it would be a good idea. I mean, I knew I wouldn't get any real closure from her, but when you said it would be the healthy option, I thought you were right. I needed to face up to my past. Confront the monster under my bed. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a giant waste of time."
"Why?"
"Well, when I told her how much damage she'd done, she offered to make it up to me with a quickie in the restaurant bathroom."
I clench my fists as what he's just said sinks in. "The fuck?!"