“Hey, what’s up,” you say, coming up behind me.
“Tim here is giving me some pointers,” I say. I realize after saying his name that it’s a mistake—it makes it look like we’ve gotten to know each other when, in fact, I was just reading his name tag.
“Well, Tim, I’d appreciate it if you got the hell away from my girlfriend,” you say in a calm, measured voice.
Tim frowns. “Dude, I’m just doing my job.”
I hug the six-pound ball to my chest. “Gav, he was only—”
You point to the counter where a line is forming while the other guy on staff runs around getting shoes.
“That’s your job.” You give him a little wave. “Bye.”
Tim glances at me once more, then shakes his head and makes his way over to the counter. I hear him mutter dick, but I don’t think you catch it, which is good because you’ve got this testosterone-pumped look on your face and it’s about to get all Sharks and Jets up in here.
“What the hell, Gavin?” I say, whirling on you.
I can see Beth, Nat, and Lys out of the corner of my eye, all of them unapologetically eavesdropping.
“Grace. Don’t play innocent. You were flirting with him right the fuck in front of me.”
Beth’s on you in a second. “Hey. Do not talk to my sister like that. What the hell is your problem?”
You narrow your eyes at her. “What the hell is your problem?”
I step between you two. “Okay, you guys, seriously, it’s not a big—”
“Yes it is a big deal,” Beth says. “Look, I’ve stayed out of your relationship—”
You: “Good, because it’s none of your goddamn business—”
“Even though, frankly, I never thought it was a good idea. But this shit that just went down,” Beth says, ignoring you, “is the kind of stuff The Giant pulls with Mom.”
Beth knows how to hit me where it hurts. I stare at her. I never in a million years would compare myself to my mom when it comes to matters of the heart. Is she serious?
You turn to me. “Your sister is comparing me to Satan incarnate and you’re okay with this?”
My eyes fill with tears and I turn and run off to the bathroom like the coward I am. Nat and Lys come inside seconds later. I’m at the sink, furiously wiping my eyes with scratchy paper towels. I’m a mess—my makeup is everywhere.
They don’t say anything, just hug me. I feel like my whole world has turned upside down. A few minutes ago you were my wonderful boyfriend and now … I don’t even know who you are. Just yesterday we played an epic game of I love you more, No I love YOU more and no one loved each other more in the world than us in that moment, I’m sure of it. I think we called it a draw after an hour, by which time we were both naked on your bedroom floor.
“I love you more,” you whisper as you unbutton my shirt.
“No, I love YOU more,” I say as I unbuckle your belt.
You grin and bring your lips to the side of my neck. My breath catches and my head tilts back.
“Nope,” you murmur against my skin. “I definitely love YOU more.”
Your palms slide up my back and you unhook my bra, throw it to the side.
I reach for your zipper. “Nuh-uh. I love YOU So. Much. More.”
The door opens and Beth comes in.
“Hey, little sis.”
“Am I really acting like Mom?”
Something like pity crosses her face. “A little bit, yeah. Does he talk to you like that all the time?”
“This was the first time,” I say, dazed. Did what just happened out there really happen? “I mean, we’ve been kind of fighting because we never get to see each other—Mom and The Giant are ridiculous, you know how they are.”
She nods, sympathetic, then turns to Nat. “Can you give us a ride home? Gavin already left.”
“Wait,” I say, heart pushing against my chest, “he left?”
I brush past her and run out to the parking lot. You’re just pulling out of your parking spot and I sprint to you.
“Gavin!”
Your window is up and your music is blaring. I have to jump in front of you to get your attention and you hit the brakes.
“Jesus, Grace!” you say when I come around to the driver’s side.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “About all of it. I don’t know what got into Beth—”
You leave the car running but get out and lean against it.
“Yeah, your sister’s kind of a bitch.”
“Whoa. Gav. You don’t even know her.”
You snort. “Well, I don’t want to now.”
“This is so stupid,” I say. “Can’t you see that? That Tim guy, he was just being nice.”
“No, he was trying to get down your pants.”
I start crying again, frustration trumping calm, and you pull me against you.
“I’m sorry I talked to you that way,” you say. “That anger wasn’t directed at you, it was at him.”
“Well, it’s over now. Can we just … get on with the night?”
You shake your head. “I don’t think so, Grace. But go and have fun with your sister. I’ll see you … whenever your parents let me see you again.”
There’s nothing to do but kiss you good-bye and go find the girls.
Later, back at the house, Beth climbs up to her old bed, the top bunk, and dangles her legs over the side.
“So that was awesome,” she says drily. Her long dark hair is up in a messy bun and her eyes stay on my face, watching me.
I collapse onto my bed and groan.
“He’s usually not like that, I swear. It’s just been hard lately. With school and stuff.”
We’ve been fighting a lot since college started. You’re realizing just how lame dating a girl in high school is.
“I didn’t know it’d be such a big deal,” you say. “But, man, I tell people my girlfriend’s in high school and I get these looks like, ‘What the fuck?’ Like I’m a fucking pedophile or something.”
“I’m sorry.”
Why am I apologizing? It’s not like I can control being seventeen any more than you can control being eighteen. But I feel like I have to. Like, by being who I am, I’ve done something wrong.
You sigh and rest a hand on my thigh. “Well, at least I’m getting laid now.”
I shoot you a look and you laugh.
“Don’t look at me like that, you know what I mean,” you say.
Do I? Because I’m not so sure. What am I to you now? An embarrassment? A piece of ass? Because that’s how I feel. But I don’t say anything, just crawl into your lap and pretend things are okay. Because if things aren’t okay with us, then nothing’s okay.
“He giving you a hard time about being in high school?” she asks. My sister has always been kind of a mind reader.
I sigh. “Gav says people react like assholes when they find out.”
Beth nods. “That makes sense. I mean, going to college, you really leave everything else behind. High school seems so young, even if it wasn’t that long ago.”
“Do you think he’s gonna break up with me?” I ask.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. That’s up to you guys.” She hesitates, then slips down the ladder and sits beside me on my bed.
“Are you happy being with him? Because you seem stressed.”
“I—”