“Let’s just say that they were satisfied with my answers.”
You pull me out of the stream of students, to the deserted area around the science building. No one is around. Your lips are on mine in seconds. You gently push me up against the wall and slide your tongue in my mouth while your hands slip under the hem of my shirt. I press against you and you moan, the sound vibrating in my mouth as you deepen the kiss. The bell rings but I don’t care. I’m not even afraid of getting caught.
“God, I want you,” you murmur as your lips move to my neck. I shiver. I think I want you just as much. More. I’ve never wanted someone like this. I feel a little crazy—I have to force myself not to slide my hand down your pants. I can feel you smile against my skin and then you pull away and give me a sneaky look.
“What?” I say, breathless.
You take both my hands and squeeze them. “I have a surprise for you. Tonight.”
I bite my lip, uncertain. “I don’t know, Gav. I can’t keep sneaking out. If my parents catch me, I’m dead. They’re not like your parents. My life will seriously be in jeopardy.”
You and your parents are a perfect unit of three. They adore you, give you lots of freedom. The last time I was at your house, your dad sat down at the piano and started playing Lady Gaga tunes and then your mom insisted we have a dance party. These aren’t the kind of people who ground their kid for the rest of his life. You don’t have invisible dust and a giant. You can’t even comprehend what that’s like.
“Please,” you say, begging in that sexy way of yours, chin down, eyes intense, mouth set in the tiniest pout.
“You’re taking advantage of me,” I tease. “You know I’m a sucker for The Look.”
“Is that a yes?” you ask, eyes lighting up.
“It’s not a no.” I sigh. “This surprise can’t happen during business hours?”
You shake your head. “Hell no. My surprises happen only during rock-star hours. We open at midnight sharp.”
It doesn’t occur to me to be annoyed that you don’t seem to care what the consequences of your surprises are or that you don’t hear my distress. This is you, building your castles in the sky, whisking me away from The Giant, from my mom. After years of being trapped inside my house, I’m finally being rescued. In fairy tales, the princess doesn’t tell her knight in shining armor that he came at a bad time.
I don’t see how good you are at manipulating me with your pretty looks and your teasing and your slight but insistent pushing. It will take me months not to fall for that shit. Every. Single. Time. Right now, I just see you.
And I can’t stop looking.
“Aren’t you sort of regretting falling for someone with an eleven o’clock curfew? And psychotic parents?”
“Nah. Gives me more to write about,” you say.
“I don’t get it,” I whisper.
“Get what?”
“You could have any girl in this school—some of the guys, too. Why me?”
You tilt your head, studying my face.
“You get me,” you say. “Nobody gets me like you do.” You lean your forehead against mine. “It doesn’t hurt that you’re the sexiest girl in school.”
I snort. “I was with you up until sexiest.”
“Wait.” You pull away. “Do you seriously not see what I do?”
A blush creeps up my neck, reaching for my cheeks, red ivy that spreads the longer you stare at me.
“Gavin. That’s…” I throw up my hands. “Just patently untrue.”
“You think this because of your fucked-up parents. They don’t appreciate you. They don’t see you.”
I look away, considering. I remember how last year’s Christmas card picture didn’t have me in it. Mom said she couldn’t find a good one of all of us, so it was one of just her, The Giant, and Sam.
“I don’t know,” I say softly.
“I do. You’re fucking perfect.” You put your finger under my chin and turn me so that we’re face-to-face again. “I mean it.”
I spend the rest of sixth period with my mouth on yours and we don’t stop kissing until the bell rings.
“I’ll see you tonight,” you murmur.
I smile, drunk on you. “This better be good.”
You grin. “Oh, it is.”
TWELVE
There’s a soft knock on my window.
I’ve been waiting for it. I slip out of bed, fully clothed in my skimpiest sundress, now that it’s May and the nights are warmer. I wave and you smile, tipping your hat like a proper gentleman.
I hesitate at the door, listening hard. Silence. I look at the window, almost ready to call it off, but you’re already gone, waiting by the sliding glass door for me, no doubt. We’ve done this almost every night since you kissed me, so we have a system in place.
Is he worth it? Beth asked on the phone when I told her about all the sneaking out.
Are you worth getting in trouble for? Are you worth maybe being grounded for the rest of my life?
Yeah, I said. I think he is.
Nobody could possibly understand how you and I feel about each other, how deep this goes. It didn’t take long for you to become the most important person in my life. The most important thing. I don’t tell anyone this, especially not you, but I’m pretty sure you’re my soul mate. I like to imagine us old together, our hands gnarled and veined and spotty and still clutching at each other. I like to think that you won’t be able to stop looking at me, even when you’re wearing bifocals and have cataracts.
I slip out of the room and tiptoe down the carpeted hallway, careful to step over the places that squeak.
“Where are we going this time?” I whisper once you and I are clear of the house.
Your eyes slide to mine as your lips turn up. “You’ll see.”
We zigzag down the street, jumping from shadow to shadow. It becomes a game—who can jump the farthest? Five minutes later, we’re in front of the school. You pull me toward the thick, dark shadows clustered near the library just before a cop car goes by. In our empty suburb, it’s not unusual for cops to stop pretty much any young-looking person after ten p.m. That’s when a notice goes up on the news: It’s ten p.m. Do you know where your children are?
I almost sob with fear—I don’t even want to begin contemplating the punishment I’d have if I were caught. I’m pushing my luck, I know it.
“Gav, maybe we shouldn’t…”
“Almost there,” you whisper, squeezing my hand.
I pull back, shake my head. “Seriously, you have no idea how bad it could be for me.”
“What are you afraid of?” you ask, running a finger along my jaw.
“Everything.” Being with you is like being in free fall, with no place to land in sight.
“Which is exactly why we need to do this,” you say as you plant a kiss on my forehead. “You won’t regret it.”
I wish I could be brave like you. I wish I had an adventurer’s heart. I stand still for a few breaths, thinking. Is he worth it?
“Okay,” I whisper.
“That’s my girl.”
My girl.