“I'm ready,” Brooke says as I turn around to face her. For a second there she's limned in gold light from inside the building, her silhouette a sexy, curvy shadow against the brightness. When the heavy metal door slams shut, and my eyes start to adjust to the darkness, I get a glimpse of her face. There's a quiet hopefulness there, a gentle smile, a smothering sense of relief. “We can take the van together, and you can drop me off here in the morning to get my car.”
“Maybe we should just drive separately?” I say and then hate myself for it. “I've got to get over to the duplex in the morning and clean stuff up for Rob and Mercedes.” I shrug my shoulders, but it's a seriously lame excuse. Like spending an extra twenty minutes to get over here in the morning would affect my schedule.
I want you.
That's what I should be saying.
Move to Vegas with me.
Too selfish. Brooke just changed schools midyear, and I want her to do it again? Provided there's any school around Las Vegas that actually has a biostatistics program. Heh. Doubtful.
“Are you … upset with me?” Brooke asks, moving over to stand next to me in her half-shirt and her black mini. “Because … you just stormed into my job, fucked me in the back room, and then told my manager to eat shit.”
“It needed to be said. What kind of seedy motherfucker tries to force girls into giving lap dances?”
“I … you … don't you want to be with me?” Brooke asks, blinking long lashes. Even in her thick makeup, she looks fresh-faced and adorable and way too young for me. I shove my hands through my hair. “Isn't that why you came here tonight?”
“Brooke,” I start, and I sound anguished when I say her name. The worst part about it all is that I know I'm the source of my own suffering. I fucking know that and yet I'm panicking here, acting exactly like my buddies back at the shop, the ones I make fun of all the time. “I've been trying to tell you that I like you, but that we can't work out. I've said it before. Why would it be different tonight?”
“This job was my lifeline, Zayden. What if I can't get another? What if I have to drop out of school?”
“You thought I came here tonight to say I was going to support you? I wish I could. If I had any money … shit, things might be different. I'm living off my credit card now, Brooke. This two weeks has killed me. I have a mortgage, on a place I bought with the last gift my parents ever gave me. There are no jobs up here in this shit hole, you know that.”
Her lips purse tight.
“Exactly,” she says, and I realize what I've just said. “And no, I didn't think you were just going to sweep in and make everything better. I've seen your car, Zayden. I know you're not a rich man. I just thought … I thought you were going to stick around for a while, help me find another job or something. I thought … this was our romantic climax.”
She lifts her hand up to indicate the round shape of the club's building and the neon pink lights that are staining the dark wet pavement with bright color.
“It felt like you were coming here to confess or something,” she adds, and I feel my face fall. “I am such a fucking idiot.” Her gaze snaps up to mine. “I knew I shouldn't let myself get involved with you, but … you pushed and pushed and … even tonight, why couldn't you just leave me alone? Now what am I supposed to do?” Brooke pauses and takes a deep breath. “You're really leaving tomorrow?”
I swallow hard and rake my fingers through my hair again.
I wish I was better with words, wish I could explain all the things I was feeling to her.
“I'll ruin your life, Brooke. I'm not the man of your dreams. I'm just some asshole from Vegas.” I smile at her, but it doesn't feel real. Feels like bullshit to me. “I'm just the nanny, right?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Brooke's voice sounds unstable, but when I take a step towards her, she moves away.
“Your aunt's got the kids covered for a while. We could go out and have some food? Try a little more exhibitionism. What do you say?” I make myself grin at her, but her face stays flat, her pale eyes dark and shadowed.
“Sorry, Zayden, but you can't goof your way out of this one. You know what? Why don't you go back to my place, pick up your kids, and go home. We're, uh,” Brooke starts as she begins to back away towards her Subaru, “we're done here. Yeah, yeah. We're done.” She stops after a few steps, a bag of clothes slung over one arm, and points a shaking finger at me. “I was okay with this being casual, but you pushed into my boundaries. You chased after me. And I hate being dicked around.”
Brooke turns and climbs in her car as I pace in a tight circle and run my hand over my face. I have no clue what to do. In the back of my mind, I realize how goddamn easy this all is. I basically have two choices: go home tomorrow and forget about this, or … stay.
Because I could stay if I really wanted to. Yeah, it'd be hard, but … is Brooke Overland worth it?
The answer to that is easy. Sure she is. Of course she is.
I stand there on the wet pavement as her car zooms around me and splatters my slacks with dirty water. As I turn and watch her red taillights disappear into traffic, I decide it's time to head out and find somewhere to grab a drink.
Because I need to really think about this. Changing my whole life for a girl I've known for two weeks?