The problem was, Stella had been ruled by her libido before. She’d allowed herself to divulge in the fantasy every woman dreamed of. She’d met a handsome man who’d swept her off her feet. Promised her all kinds of happy endings and rocked her world in bed. The spell Rick had had over her had pulled Stella’s focus away from her dancing, and she’d turned down an opportunity to choreograph for the Chicago Ballet Company. She had just retired from her injury when the artistic director had approached her with the invitation. Only Rick had already spun a tale of leaving Chicago for a job opportunity where he’d take care of her and they could be together forever.
Stella had been torn between accepting the job she’d always dreamed of and moving forward with a man who had promised her the world. In the end, she’d chosen love, and it had bitten her in the ass. Big-time. Two months after leaving Chicago for Indianapolis, Rick had ended their relationship, leaving Stella with no choice but to return to Chicago and beg her former artistic director for a position.
“I’m sorry, Stella,” he’d told her. “When you left, I gave the job to someone else. We started rehearsals a month ago.”
She’d gone from being a principal dancer with one of the biggest companies in the country to an unemployed single woman with a bum knee. Shortly after that, Granny Rose had gotten sick and she’d left Chicago for Blanco Valley.
After that ordeal, Stella had sworn to herself that she’d never give anything up for a man again. No matter how enamored with him she was.
And now she had a chance to fix the mistakes of her past. Her former artistic director had called her back in the spring and offered her a chance to choreograph for Rapunzel. Stella had jumped at the opportunity to return to Chicago and do what she loved best.
At twenty-nine, she finally felt like she had her act together. She owned a successful dance studio and in six months she’d be back in the professional world, just like she’d wanted.
She left the living room, and her mother, and headed for the kitchen for a bottle of water.
When Granny Rose had passed away, Gloria had shown up on Stella’s doorstep with two suitcases and a world of guilt riding on her shoulders. Guilt for not being there when her own mother had died. And guilt that Stella had stepped up to take care of the woman.
“I should have been there with you,” Gloria had sobbed the day of Granny’s funeral. “You were so good for her and I was nowhere to be found.” She’d gazed at Stella with eyes so full of regret and sorrow that Stella’s heart had cracked all over again. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
Of course, she’d forgiven her mother. Gloria could be trying, but she was still Stella’s mom, and they were all each other had left. A few days after Granny’s funeral, Stella had asked her mother how much longer she planned on staying.
“This is it, honey,” Gloria had told her as they’d worked together to put fresh water in all the vases of flowers they’d received. “I’m back for good.”
As soon as the words had been spoken, Stella had a moment’s panic. Not that she didn’t love spending time with her mom, because she did. Some time. Not all the time as it had been since Granny had died. And her mother was still around, filling her pantry with junk food, telling Stella to have orgasms and flirting with the FedEx guy.
Gloria was back on the couch with the laptop perched on her legs. “The cute personal trainer at the gym is single.”
Stella slipped her flip-flops on and walked toward the sliding glass door. “How do you know that?”
“He changed his relationship status on Facebook,” Gloria told her.
“You’re Facebook friends with him?” Stella asked.
Gloria shrugged. “Not exactly. I kind of stumbled across his profile.”
“Stumbled across his profile?” Stella asked her mom in disbelief. “Or you did a search of the guy and went right to his page?”
“Or that,” Gloria agreed.
Stella lifted her eyes to the ceiling and opened the door. “Mom, you’re not going to find anybody by trolling through people’s relationship statuses.”
“Why not?” Gloria closed the computer and stood. “Now that I know he’s single, I can go down there and…I don’t know”—Gloria waved a hand in the air—“get trained and stuff.”
Trained and stuff. Good heavens.
Stella walked to the back deck and picked up the hose so she could water her flowers. Gloria followed.
She shot her mom a glance as water filled the first pot. “Mom, when have you ever set foot inside a gym?”
“What does that matter? I’m not getting any younger, so it’s about time I start taking care of myself. Why not have the help of a young, handsome man?”
Uh…because none of your other relationships have worked?
Stella kept the thought to herself and moved on to her next plant.
“Besides,” Gloria went on. “I’m going to need someone to keep me company when you leave.”
Good grief, not this again.
“Mom, I told you I’ll only be gone for about six weeks.” Your relationships never last that long anyway. Another thought she held back.
“I finally come back to this place, and you’re leaving. Why do you have to leave me here?”
Sometimes Stella felt like she was the mother, always having to reassure Gloria that everything was going to be okay. Always looking out for her and making sure she had her act together. Gloria was a leap-first, think-later type of person. Usually Stella had to do the thinking for both of them.
“First of all,” Stella said, filling the second pot of flowers with water and moving to another. “I’m not leaving you. You say it like I’m abandoning you, and that’s hardly the case.” She glanced at her mother over her shoulder. “You know why I have to do this, Mom.”
Gloria lowered herself to the edge of the deck. “Yes, I know. You already passed it up once, and all that.”
Don’t make light of it or anything…
Not that she expected her mom to understand. Gloria had never followed through with anything in her life. At least not anything that didn’t have a penis.
“It’s just that…” Her mom’s words trailed off and Stella waited for her to continue.
When she didn’t, Stella prompted her. “It’s just that what, Mom?”
“Well”—Gloria folded her arms around her knees—“we’re finally back together again, and you’re leaving.”
The water from the hose flowed over the rim of the flowerpot as Stella considered her mom. She shut off the hose and set the thing down.
Gloria’s shoulders were hunched over, her long hair tied back in a low bun at the base of her neck. At forty-nine, her mother should have gray streaks running through her chestnut strands, which were several shades lighter than Stella’s own hair. The brilliant color was just as shiny and bright as it had been when Stella was little. She had no idea what her mother did to keep her hair the envy of all women, but damn, she was a little bit jealous.
She sat next to her mom and nudged the woman’s shoulder.
“Think of it this way,” Stella began. “You won’t have me here giving you a hard time for chasing around younger men.”
Gloria snorted, which Stella guessed was supposed to be a laugh. “I hardly chase,” she argued. “But sometimes these men don’t know a good thing when they see it. They simply need a nudge.”
Or maybe younger men don’t want to settle down.
A reality Gloria refused to face.
The two of them stared down at the lawn in silence for a few moments.