Looking up with just my eyes, in the midst of this chaos, I was safe again, because Jacob was beside me, offering me his hand. It was another realization, one that the old me would never have admitted or probably experienced. Even with the mental checklist of laws I’d witnessed broken, I wanted the relief that came with giving my cares over to Jacob.
As I placed my hand in his, his warmth washed through me, alerting me to how cool I’d become. As I stood I wanted to fall into him and be surrounded by his strong arms. I wanted the only sound to be that of his steady heartbeat as my ear lay against his broad chest. I wanted him to protect me and to take me away from all this madness.
When our gazes met, his told me that he knew my every thought. Surrounded by the Eastern Light’s followers, without words, we spoke not only words but also an oration to each other. We both wanted out. This had to end. Coming back had been a mistake, but we would survive.
I couldn’t process what had happened, how it had happened, or why no one had tried to stop it. Biting my lip, I trapped the protests and declarations of indecency that had surfaced in my thoughts.
How could everyone just sit and watch two young people murdered—people who’d end up on Tracy’s tables at the Wayne County Morgue—people whose fingerprints were gone?
I knew the reality. No one would question their deaths. A young couple dying of a drug overdose, their bodies found in Highland Heights, wouldn’t even make WCJB’s news. No one in the dark would question. Why should they? No one in The Light had.
Silently we walked to the black SUV, my hand tightly encased in Jacob’s grip. Across Second Avenue from the parking lot was the old school building I’d watched. The curiosity I’d possessed even at the beginning of service no longer existed. Like my fingerprints, it was gone. I didn’t care what they did over there. Maybe I should restart my medicine after my period. Maybe then I could forget what had happened. As the tragedy of what we had witnessed consumed me, my only desire was to know that Jacob and I were safe and away from The Light.
Jacob, Brother Micah, and Brother Elijah spoke during the drive back to the compound, but I didn’t listen. Only the final words of the young couple, Sister Salome begging and Brother Abel pleading for her life, replayed in my mind.
Did things like that happen at the Northern Light? I’d never seen it or even heard of it. If leaving The Light wasn’t possible, at the very least, I wanted to go back to Alaska.
As we drove north on Highway 1, sitting straight took every muscle I possessed. The urge to melt into Jacob’s warmth was stronger than it had ever been. I knew it wasn’t an option. We were chosen. Public displays of affection weren’t permitted. When we arrived back on the compound, I dutifully followed Jacob into the outbuilding’s living quarters. Though the Michigan sun was shining and warm, I was chilled to the bone as I collapsed on the sofa.
Before I could speak, Jacob did. “Sara, cook Brother Micah’s and our dinner.”
I gazed up at him in disbelief. He wanted to eat after that?
He reached for my hand as his tone softened. “There’s food in the refrigerator. It only needs to be warmed.” As I stood he continued, “It’ll give you something else to think about.”
I nodded as I walked to the small kitchen. Jacob was right. I needed a distraction, but it wasn’t enough. I could have cooked a five-course meal and it wouldn’t have erased the images of what I’d seen. Besides, what I warmed wasn’t a five-course meal. Quite honestly, I would’ve rather cooked, but there weren’t ingredients. Pilots usually occupied these quarters, and they wouldn’t be expected to do more than warm their food.
After I cleaned up the dishes and the kitchen, Jacob took my hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“All right.” I didn’t care what we did. We knew Father Gabriel had two more sermons to preach before he’d be ready to fly back to the Northern Light. Besides, I wanted to talk to Jacob, and since the only place that was possible was in the bathroom, we couldn’t. Surely if we spent too much time in there together it would be questioned.
As we stepped outside, the sun and breeze warmed my skin. Lifting my face without sunglasses, I squinted. I didn’t care that I was supposed to keep my eyes down. Allowing the summer sun to kiss my cheeks reminded me of how much I loved fresh air. “I wish we had running shoes.”
Jacob smiled. “We have to walk toward the rear of the property. We aren’t allowed up near the mansion.” He took my hand and led me toward the landing strip.
As we walked past the Cessna, I said, “I want to leave.”
“I should have forced you to,” he replied sadly as we made our way farther and farther away from the cameras.
“I don’t mean that,” I corrected him. “Although yes, I want away from The Light. I meant I want to go back to the Northern Light.” I took a deep breath. “Tell me the truth. Does anything like what we saw today happen there?”