Though she sighed, she didn’t pull her hand away.
“So,” I said, “your memories have been back for over a week, and when you were with me, you were Sara?” She nodded. “This morning, before I left, you told me you loved me.” She nodded again. “And that was a lie?”
“Sara loves Jacob.” She squeezed my hand. “That’s all I can give you.”
It was my turn to nod. “What happened with Thomas?”
She quickly turned toward me. “I told you, nothing.”
“No, I believe that. I’m asking how you ended up with him. Deputy Hill said that you said he took you against your will, but . . . what did the but mean?”
She sighed. “I went for a walk before work, and I saw your truck.”
“My truck?”
“I knew you hadn’t driven it into the community. You were gone. I’d seen Thomas in the community before. I didn’t understand how he did it. Xavier never did, but I took a chance.”
My pulse quickened. “You spoke to him in the community where others may have seen you?”
She shook her head. “No, I made sure that no one was around, and I got in the truck. I hid in the backseat, on the floor under a blanket.”
Though she’d totally fucked up both of our lives, my cheeks rose as I shook my head with newfound admiration. “Damn, you’re brave.”
“It was stupid. I took a chance and it almost cost me more than I was willing to pay.”
I didn’t know how to respond. It had cost both of us, it wasn’t almost.
“I thought I was good until he drove through the gates and then a few minutes later stopped the truck. He knew I was there.” Her eyes opened wide again. “Jacob? I mean Jacoby?”
I lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles again. “I’d be OK if we stick with Jacob and Sara. I recently heard something about Sara, and I’m confident Jacob feels the same way.”
“I can’t . . .”
“I’m not asking you to,” I reassured her. “What did you want to ask?”
Her baby-blue eyes held the innocent Sara gaze I’d come to adore. “Are there really polar bears?”
“Yes!” Of all the questions she could have asked, this one made me smile. “I’ve seen them myself, especially out by the landing strip.”
“Then I hope he gets mauled.”
“You don’t need to worry about him.”
“Will you tell me why?”
“I’ll tell you anything. You never need to ask that way again.”
She nodded.
“I don’t know the details, but the US Marshals took care of him.” When her expression blanked, I realized what that sounded like. “Not as in dead. Your confirmation that he took you against your will gave them probable cause. Deputy Hill guaranteed that Thomas would be lost in the federal system longer than I needed.”
“Longer than you needed? What does that mean?”
“My assignment isn’t over. The FBI needs more time to coordinate all the raids, and there’s more I want to learn. Today was only the second time in nearly three years that I’ve spoken with my handler. Thomas is a weak link. He could have easily talked to Father Gabriel. He had to be silenced.”
“Are you going back? Did I mess everything up?” She sighed, adjusted her pillow, and lay back.
“It’s like I said, it depends on you.” When I looked toward Sara, she was on her side with her knees drawn up. “What is it?”
In a short time, her complexion had paled. With her eyes closed, she shook her head. “I think I’m hungry.”
“Damn, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” I stood. “When did you last eat?”
“Sometime at the marshals’ office. It’s probably the stress too.”
Her forehead glistened with a sheen of perspiration.
“Let me go get you something to eat. It’s kind of late. I can get fast food.”
She nodded. “Thank you. I think that would help.”
“If I leave you alone?” I looked at the phone on the stand near the bed. “I can’t. I can’t leave you alone.”
“I’m not sure I can go with you. I’m suddenly not feeling very well.”
Even if I pulled the phone cord out of the wall, she could always walk next door and borrow someone’s phone. I couldn’t say it, but in reality she too was a weak link.
Looking around, I found plastic cups wrapped in cellophane. Opening one, I filled it with water and brought it back to her. “Here, try drinking some water.” Her beautiful eyes opened as she sat back up.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the cup. Though the water sloshed in her shaky grasp, she smiled. “This reminds me of the clinic.”
I watched the color return to her cheeks. Once she was done, I took the cup and brushed my thumb over her right cheek. “See, we do have a past.”