“Good. And don’t fool yourself into think you’ve forgiven me either. I ripped your mother’s heart out and I’m not sorry. I’d do it again.”
“They had it coming,” Cas said, though not really to her. He appeared to be speaking more to himself than anyone.
“What?” she asked, startled. Perhaps she’d overestimated his love for his mother.
“Em said that to me once. Said she wasn’t the least bit sorry about the people she’d killed. They had it coming.” He laughed softly. “I was sort of horrified and impressed at the same time.”
Olivia took a step back, trying not to let her surprise show on her face. She’d been so obsessed with trying to figure out why Em liked Cas that she hadn’t stopped to think why he liked her. There were a million things to love about Em, but the expression on his face when he talked about her was unexpected.
“Maybe it’s not that I forgive you,” he said. “But I don’t have the strength to care. I lost everything, and I can’t get it back by hating you.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you,” she snapped. “And you haven’t lost everything. You have my sister, who is bizarrely determined to return your kingdom to you. A kingdom you don’t even deserve.” Cas turned his gaze to the ground. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I do still have Em.”
“That’s enough,” Galo said. He reached out like he was going to touch her. “Let’s go.”
She stepped away from his grasp and glared at him. “I’m going. I’m done here anyway.” She shot a glare over her shoulder as she walked to the door, but Cas wasn’t looking at her. His head was bent down to the floor. The image lingered in her mind as she ran down the stairs and out of the house.
SEVENTEEN
BY SUNSET, CAS was able to stand on his own again. He ignored Galo’s protests and hobbled slowly downstairs. He was lightheaded when he reached the bottom, and he grabbed the guard’s arm for a moment to steady himself.
The living room was bathed in orange light, and Violet was curled up on the couch, a book in her lap. A large bookshelf was next to the couch, and Cas wondered for the first time who this house belonged to. Would they ever get their books back?
Violet smiled at Cas. “You look good.”
“I do not.”
“Well, you don’t look like you’re about to die. It’s an improvement.”
“Thanks,” he said with weak laugh. He let go of Galo and shuffled toward the door. “I’m going to go sit on the porch for a while.”
“That’s not a good idea,” Galo said.
“Em said we’re allowed to be on the porch. I won’t step off it. I need some fresh air.” He felt cramped and awkward in a stranger’s house, and he wanted to see at least a little of the town.
And he was hoping to see Em. He hated that he couldn’t run out and find her. He had to wait for her to come to him, and he was worried she wouldn’t. She had things to do—a kingdom to run, people to protect, wars to fight. He couldn’t even help, and it made him feel pathetic.
“I’ll be fine,” he said as Galo tried to follow him to the door. “You can stare at me creepily through the windows, if it makes you feel better.”
Galo grumbled something Cas couldn’t understand, but he ignored his friend. Cas might not be the king much longer. He should get used to protecting himself.
He pulled open the door, a cool blast of air hitting his face. He took in a deep breath as he stepped out. He’d opened his window upstairs, but it had done little to ease the claustrophobia.
He slid to the ground and leaned against the wall, stretching his legs out in front of him. The house was on the edge of town, so he couldn’t see much besides the outline of a few buildings. He could hear laughter coming from that direction.
Was Em over there? She hadn’t come to see him after Olivia left, which made him think she didn’t know her sister had visited. Or maybe she did know. Maybe she’d sent Olivia in the hopes that the two of them could actually get along. If so, that plan had failed spectacularly.
A tall figure appeared at the end of the road, moving away from the town, and hope bloomed in Cas’s chest. The figure drew closer. It was a man. Aren.
Cas leaned against the house with a sigh. “Hi, Aren,” he said.
Aren’s head snapped to him. “Cas? Should you be out here?”
“We’re allowed to be on the porch.”
Aren walked closer, stopping at the bottom of the steps. “I know, but someone could still wander by and remove your head.”
“I’ll take my chances. Besides, Olivia didn’t take my head off earlier when she was in my room, so I think I’m safe.”
“Olivia was in your room?” Aren’s tone was incredulous.
“Yes. She came and stared at me for a while. Then we talked. It was odd.”
“Huh.” Aren frowned at the dirt. “Huh.”
“Have you seen Em?”
“Yeah, she’s with some of the warriors. Hashing out a plan to—” He stopped suddenly, clearing his throat. “I’m sure she’ll come and see you when she can.”
Of course she would. Olivia was right. He did still have Em. He’d spent so much time thinking about what he’d lost that he’d forgotten about the most important person. Em stood by him, even when it didn’t make any sense.
“You’re making things harder for her, you know,” Aren said. “Olivia’s furious that you’re here. The warriors want you dead, and most of the Ruined do too.”
“I know. But where am I going to go? My kingdom is gone, my cousin is trying to take my throne, and my parents are dead. The only family I have left tried to murder me.” He closed his eyes. Em’s face appeared immediately, her lips turned up in a half smile. “Em decided not to murder me after she got to know me. That must count for something, right?”
Aren made a strange choking sound, and Cas opened his eyes to see him trying to suppress a laugh. He failed.
“I guess so,” Aren said. “That sounds like her kind of logic, actually.”
“We have a lot more in common these days.”
“I guess you do,” Aren said quietly.
“Besides, I think even if I left we’d find our way back to each other,” Cas said. He lifted his head to look at the stars. “I’ve been thinking someone else might have a hand in that.”
“What do you mean?”
“What were the odds of us finding each other in the jungle on the way to the fortress? It’s a big jungle, but we still found each other. And now, in Vallos. If that wheel hadn’t gotten stuck in the mud, Galo said we would have missed you all entirely. We’d be deep into Vallos by now.” Cas straightened his legs, letting them fall in front of him. “My parents weren’t believers, but it makes me think the ancestors really are out there, watching out for us.”
“I don’t know… .” Aren trailed off, shaking his head. “Things just happen sometimes. Coincidences.”
“Maybe ‘coincidence’ is another word for fate.” Cas smiled. “Just watch. If we get separated again, I bet we find each other.”
“Ugh, gross. Could you not get that dopey look on your face, please?”