“No.”
“By then it was too late.” He stands and comes toward me. “He was already prepping you. He probably didn’t think a younger half sibling with a different last name could be much of a threat. He’d invested too much time to walk away.”
I take a step backward then two. “What point are you making?”
“He went after Marie specifically with a goal in mind.” He comes at me until I hit a bookshelf. “He’s not the kind of asshole who would risk his whole operation for revenge. That’s not what this is about.” He leans in as I lean back. “What is it about, Vera?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“What made you run when you did? Why didn’t you take off sooner? Why did you escape at all?”
“I had to.” I put my hands on his chest and push at him. “I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t let one more stranger fuck me.”
Shaking his head, he eases up, but doesn’t back off. “That’s not the real reason.”
“Why do you care? What does it matter?”
“Because this has been about something else all along. Sure, it’s about finding your sister, but it’s also about you.” He cradles my face in his hands. “Tell me what it is that’s got you so fucking terrified you’re backing away from me like I’ll hurt you.”
I break out of his hold and step around him. Rubbing my arms, I move to the other side of the room. He doesn’t follow. He just watches me with that patient Beau gaze that tears at my defenses.
“The one thing I really like about you besides the sex is that you don’t ask a lot of questions,” I say. “Why change?”
“Because I’ve gotten more info on this case from girls on the Internet than I have from you and I’m starting to get fucking sick of it.”
“I don’t know anything else that will help find Marie. What does it matter why he’s going after her? He’s after her. That’s all you need to know.”
“Cora thinks we should go to the police.”
“No. No way.”
“Why not? Give me something here, Vera.”
“You don’t get it. One of my regulars was an asshole cop who liked to brag as he fucked about all the power he had, what a big man he was. He was a fucking sadist coward who could only get off when I screamed in pain. There were more. I don’t know how many more, but there were rumors about someone in the district attorney’s office, politicians, businessmen—powerful men—fucking underage girls. None of them came to our rescue so how can you expect me to believe they would now? That’s one of the reasons I’m not safe and I never will be.”
“What are the other reasons?”
I don’t answer.
“Why did we start this between us if you’re going to bail any minute and I don’t get to know why? So I just get left behind? I’m sick of getting left behind. Cassandra fucking left me and now you’re going to do it too. I know it has something to do with Javier and the reason you ran, changed your name, and your appearance. Why?”
“I can’t. Please stop asking me.”
“You’re the only fucking person who gets me.” He pounds his fist over his heart. Misery grinds his voice, making the edges rough. “That means something to me.”
“You get me too. I know you do. Please try to understand. I’d give you more if I could. I’d give you fucking everything. But I can’t give you this. Please. Let it go.”
Growling, he shoves his hands in his hair and presses his palms against his eyes. I hate seeing him like this. I hate that I brought him to this. I go to him and pull his arms down so I can see his face. Lacing my fingers with his, I try to get him to look at me. He’s pissed at me, but that’s not all he is. He’s hurt. The anger and frustration I can handle. The thought that I cause him pain shames me. He’s been nothing but good to me, even when he had no reason to be.
I kiss him. He doesn’t respond right away, and then he wraps his arms around me, still holding my hands in his, and kisses me back. It’s a conciliatory kiss. I won, but I don’t feel like a winner.
Chapter 21
Beau