“She was supposed to go on tour at the end of the summer, but you’ve ruined her chance to get out of this shithole town because she can’t afford the surgery to fix her finger.”
“I didn’t know,” Trent said.
“That’s because you’re an entitled, selfish asshole who doesn’t care about anyone but himself!”
I didn’t know Calvin had followed me, but now he tried to pull me out of the crowd that had grown around us. “Come on, Ozzie,” he said. “Before Mr. Fletcher gets here.”
I jabbed Trent in the chest. “I hope you get everything you ever wanted, Trent. And then I hope someone burns it all to the ground.”
Mason surged forward, but Calvin blocked his path and said, “Bad idea, Kang.”
I don’t know. I don’t know what I expected from Trent. Remorse maybe? Some acknowledgment that he understood how badly he’d screwed up Lua’s life? Instead, he puffed out his chest and said, “Whatever. Her band sucked anyway.”
Calvin grabbed me by the back of my shirt before I could attack. He locked his arms around me and half pushed, half dragged me out of the cafeteria.
? ? ?
Dr. Greg Nelson played with his stylus, tapping the rubber nub on his leg.
“How big is the universe?” I asked.
“I asked you why you thought you were here,” he said.
“Humor me, all right?”
Nelson pursed his lips, but nodded. “About three hundred and eighty thousand kilometers.”
“Three hundred eighty-two thousand and eleven kilometers, to be exact,” I said. “It ends just past the moon.”
“Oswald, I’d like to talk about you, not the universe.”
I shifted on the couch, trying to find a comfortable spot, but the cushions were lumpy and a spring kept poking me in the butt. “Where does daylight come from?”
Dr. Nelson stopped fidgeting. He looked at me, his vague smile frozen. “I don’t follow.”
“The universe. It consists of Earth and the moon, right? So where does daylight come from?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “There used to be a sun, a star in the center of our solar system. That’s what generated the light and heat for our planet. But it’s gone, so what warms the planet? Why isn’t it dark all the time?”
“Solar system? Star? I’m not familiar with those terms, Ozzie,” he said. “Now, I’d like to talk about you. Tell me how you’re doing.”
Right. Why would there be a word for a thing that doesn’t exist? The word “universe” comes from an Old French word, which itself was derived from the Latin word “universum.” It means: all. Everything. The totality of existence. Which had shrunk to include nothing more than the moon after Trent broke Lua’s hand.
“I’m fine,” I said. “Everything’s fine.” I stopped and thought about it, then said, “You know what? No. Everything’s not fine. My best friend’s dream was destroyed by a prick who doesn’t give a fuck, and I can’t fix it; I can’t let myself feel things for the guy I like who’s actually around because I refuse to give up on the guy I love who no one else believes exists; my parents suck; my brother’s gone; and no one can tell me where the light comes from without a goddamn sun!”
Dr. Nelson retrieved his tablet from beside his chair and wrote something on the screen with his stylus. “I’m going to recommend to your parents that you meet with a psychiatrist.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“In addition to our sessions, I believe you would benefit from medication, so I’m referring you to Dr. Taylor Laurie for evaluation.” He finished writing and set his tablet aside.
I shook my head. “No. Screw that. I don’t need medication. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Dr. Nelson’s smile smoothed out like he was speaking to a wild animal. “You probably have some misconceptions about psychiatric medications, but they’re not going to turn you into a zombie or alter your personality. They might, however, help you strengthen your grip on reality.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my grip on reality. You all are the ones incapable of seeing what’s really going on.”
“Why don’t you just meet with Dr. Laurie, and we can take it from there?”
“Or,” I said, “you could eat a bag of deep-fried dicks. How does that sound?”
? ? ?
Mom and Dad were waiting for me when I got home. They were both sitting at the breakfast nook. And they were talking. The last time I’d seen them in the same room together was Renny’s going-away dinner.
“What happened?” I asked. “Is Renny all right? Did something happen to him?”
Dad stood and held up his hands. “Warren’s fine.”
“Then what’s going on?” My heart was racing.
Mom pushed out a chair between her and Dad. “Sit down, Ozzie. Your father and I want to talk to you.”
I dropped my backpack by the stairs and trudged to the chair. On the table lay two more letters. One from UF and one from NYU. Without waiting for permission, I tore them open. Yes from UF, no from NYU. I was all grins when I looked up.
“I got into the University of Florida!”
Dad took the letters and read each. “That’s good, son. Good for you. Actually, that’s part of what we wanted to discuss with you.” He glanced at my mom. “Kat, do you want to start?”
Mom nodded. “Ozzie, sweetheart, we sold the house.” Whenever she had to tell me something she knew I wasn’t going to like, she spoke in a firm but annoyingly reassuring tone, like I was five again and she was telling me my goldfish had died and she was worried I might have a complete meltdown. “It’s not as much as we’d hoped for, but your father and I agree we’re not likely to get a better offer.”
“Good for you?” I knew it was for the best that my parents separated and finalized their divorce, but we were talking about my childhood home. It was the backdrop for all of my memories; the idea of strangers living in it felt wrong.
“I’ve already bought a three-bedroom condo in Seabrook,” Dad said. “It’s only a few miles from here.”
I wasn’t ready to get into an argument over who I would end up living with, because maybe I would go to college, and then it wouldn’t matter. All I’d need was somewhere to crash on holidays and during the summer, and I wouldn’t even need to stay with one of my parents. Ms. Novak would definitely let me sleep on her couch. And if I did decide to hang around Cloud Lake to wait for Tommy, well, maybe I could split my time between my mom and dad equally.
Then Mom said, “And I’ve accepted a job as the COO of a robotics company.”
“Okay?” I said.
“They’re based in Chicago, Ozzie. I’m moving to Chicago.”
“Oh.” I didn’t think my parents divorcing would mean they wouldn’t live in the same state anymore, but the idea didn’t upset me. At least I wouldn’t have to choose between them.
“It’s . . . whatever,” I said. “I’m probably going to college anyway. I’m leaning toward UC Boulder, but New College is tempting. And Dustin’s going to UF, so that’s always an option.”
Mom and Dad glanced at each other. They’d spent so long together that they didn’t need words to communicate. Maybe that’s what had caused the end of their relationship. Maybe they ran out of words.
Also, my father was a cheating asshole.
“Oz,” Dad said. “Dr. Nelson called us.”