She glared at Verraday.
“Robson was a coward. That’s why he ran away from what he did to your family when you were a kid. He couldn’t face up to what he had done. He was the worst kind of killer. Weak. Gutless. Disgusting. When I made him hold that gun in his own hand and turn it on himself while I pulled the trigger and blew his brains out, I had the biggest rush of my life. And I haven’t lost a moment’s sleep over it. He deserved everything he got and more. Don’t you agree? I would have shot him in the spine and let him spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, if I’d been able to figure out a way to keep him from ever saying who did it to him. Can you even imagine someone wanting so badly to make you happy that they killed for you? Because that’s what I did, James. I killed for you. I would have done anything for you. Anything. But instead, you had to ruin it by kissing that cop. Do you have any idea how I felt when I saw that?”
“You were watching me tonight?”
“Of course I was watching you. I’ve been watching you for weeks. I even broke into your house a few times to find out how to make you happy. I went through your files so I’d know what you liked. I found the photos of that girl—I think she’s an ex? So I bought lingerie like that to wear for you. Then, to test it, to make sure I was right and that I wouldn’t disappoint you, I left those flyers on your doorstep. I came back later and saw that the only flyer you kept was the one for the burlesque show.”
Verraday’s head was swimming. He couldn’t believe that anyone had been in his space and he hadn’t noticed. That she had repeatedly violated his inner sanctum and he hadn’t noticed. So much for his powers of observation.
“I went to so much effort to please you. Because I loved you. But you tore my fucking heart out. You were the only one I invited into my world. The only one. And you betrayed me. We could have been such a force. Taken down so many assholes together.”
Verraday tried to buy time. Maybe if he could just calm her down, he might get a chance to disarm her.
“Maybe it’s not too late,” he said. “Now that I realize it was you.”
“Of course it’s too late. I offered myself to you on a platter, and you rejected me. I had to sit there in the dark like an idiot tonight watching you kiss that woman, holding her body against yours. Throwing yourself at her. You hurt me to the core. And now you’re going to die. Slowly.”
“Please don’t do this,” said Verraday weakly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“And yet you did. But don’t worry. Even though you hurt me, I won’t make you feel that much pain. I put Ativan in your brandy. A lot of it. I know you always have brandy before bed. And I know that you have a prescription for Ativan. You should be more careful what you put in your recycle bin. The police department could use something like that to discredit you. I saw them going through your bin once, you know, while I was watching you. Fortunately, I’d already taken out your empty prescription bottle so there was nothing much for them to see. They’re morons. But what do you expect from a cop? I mean, who could possibly be interested in fucking a cop except for some pathetic piece of shit.”
Verraday saw the hunting knife coming at him. He tried to move but his legs felt leaden. The blade sank deep into the long muscle of his thigh, and he screamed. He tried to grab her wrist, but the Ativan had made him slow, and she leapt out of the way.
“What you said in class, about Wall Street psychopaths? You’re wrong, you know. Those hedge fund managers might be psychopaths, but the rush they experience is just a substitute for what I can do. I know because I fucked a few of them. For seven hundred dollars a pop. And you know what? They’re so sublimated it’s pathetic. Look at Donald Trump. What a needy asshole. He’s begging to be respected, so he builds these fucking monuments to himself all over the place because he can’t face up to what he really wants to have: power over life and death. So because of his programming, he finds a substitute instead. I, on the other hand, already have what I want: the ability to totally dominate another human being. I don’t need all that money to make me feel powerful. I am powerful.”
“No you’re not,” said Verraday. “You’re dead inside. That’s why you need to do things like this.”
“Well, it’s irrelevant for you, because you’re about to become dead inside and outside. You’re going to bleed out very slowly. And there’s enough Ativan in your system that you won’t be able to do one thing about it.”
She put the hunting knife aside and pulled out a long stiletto. Verraday’s hope sank at the sight of it.