My heart raced. Being so close to one again brought back memories of my flight across the dead plains. My burned hand pulsed in pain, and I clenched it into a fist.
“Where’s the nearest canal?” I whispered.
“Just stay quiet. Maybe it won’t see us.”
We stood still, the sound of my heart and quiet breathing matched by the sound of his. We huddled like statues, willing the ghost to leave. Les clutched me to his side, the solid strength of his body pressed against mine. I pictured the celebration on the roof before, my hand in his, his arms around me like they were now.
I blushed behind my mask and pulled away.
“Lea, don’t—”
The ghost blinked its phantom eyes and faced us.
Maybe it couldn’t see us in our leathers against the dark alley.
It screamed, a sound that emanated from somewhere in the heart of it. It raced our way.
“Oh gods!” Les shouted. He squeezed his eyes shut against the ghost. He was so frightened of it, so scared. And I was too. But it was my fault, and if I could distract it, he could flee.
I pushed Les aside and confronted the charging ghost. Les grabbed my right hand, shouting something in my ear, but I focused on the ghost.
I remembered the ghost who tried to pull me from Butters’s saddle, remembered how tightly I’d gripped Safraella’s coin and prayed for Her to grant me a fast rebirth. I prayed again, now, and stepped forward. I met the shrieking ghost with my hand across its chest, willing it to stop its attack.
The ghost shot away from us, repelled out of the alley and out of sight, leaving nothing behind but a quickly fading echo of its screams.
My chest heaved with rapid breaths and my mouth ached from dryness.
“Lea . . .” Les loosened his grasp on my hand. “What did you do?”
My arm flopped to my side and I swallowed deeply. I shook my head. It was a good question.
He stepped beside me. “How did you do that?” His voice was tinged with awe and something else. Fear maybe.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure it was me.”
“I don’t understand. . . .”
I lifted my mask to the top of my head and brushed a lock of hair from my eyes. “It happened once before. I was on the dead plains, racing from the ghosts.”
“Wait. You crossed the dead plains at night? Are you crazy?”
“I didn’t have much choice. It was face the angry ghosts or face the Addamo Family.”
“I don’t—I don’t even know what to make of that, so I’m going to set it aside for now.” He made a motion of pushing something invisible away. “Let’s get back to how you saved us from that ghost.”
“It wasn’t me. I think it was Safraella.”
He gestured for me to continue. I sighed.
“When I was on the dead plains, I was injured and the ghosts were trying to pull me from the saddle. I thought I was going to die. And I was upset I wouldn’t have a coin for Safraella, for a fast rebirth. Which was stupid. I’m Her disciple. I don’t think She would begrudge me a coin in the midst of fleeing for my life.” I shook my head. “Anyway, I managed to clutch a coin in my hand. And it burned me.”
I slipped my glove off and stuffed it in my belt. He took my left hand gently and traced my healing palm and fingers with his own. Val used to trace my knuckles with his thumb. I was glad for the darkness in the alley so Les couldn’t see the color that had risen to my cheeks. I took a breath.
“How did it burn you?” He followed the shallow shape of the coin around my skin. I pulled my hand away.
“I’m not sure. I spoke to a priest at a monastery on the dead plains. He wasn’t sure either. Maybe some sort of holy fire? He’d never heard of anything like it happening before. But when my hand was burning, a ghost reached for me and suddenly it was gone, flung away across the plains. Before I had time to think about it, I was in the monastery.” I shrugged.
Les stared at me. “That’s it?” He shrugged, mocking me. “You can just shrug it off?”
“What do you want me to say?” I snapped. “That I understand everything about Safraella and how She works? Or that I have some sort of magical clipper magic and you will too, as soon as we somehow get you a mask?”
He tightened his lips. I’d hit a tender spot. He had thought one of those things.
“I don’t understand how you can do something so amazing,” he said, “like stopping an angry ghost, and just shrug as if it’s no big deal. As if you’re not worried about it, or fanatically curious. You did something amazing, miraculous, and you treat it as an irritant at best.”
“Because I don’t have time to figure it out! I don’t have all the answers, Les. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m barely getting by. I just need to focus on doing what I came here to do.”
“Killing yourself, you mean.”
“What?”
“That’s what you came here to do, right? Find the means to kill yourself at the hands of the Da Vias?”
He was ridiculous. He didn’t understand anything. “I don’t want to die.”
“Don’t you?”
He stepped into my personal space. He was so much taller than me, but I stood my ground. I wasn’t that easy to intimidate.