“My family wasn’t very accepting of me, being a half-blood. Every day I’d clean the tiger cages and dream of getting closer to them, of taking care of them. But my family made me stay away. All the men and women who worked with the tigers scarred their forearms with tiger claws, to mark their important status.” Les gestured to the top of his forearm, dragging his fingers like claws across the skin. “As you can see, no scars for me, because taking care of the tigers meant you belonged. And I didn’t. I was less than them, not worthy.
“And here, in Rennes, they weren’t accepting of me either. Only your uncle didn’t seem to care about my heritage.” He leaned forward, using the pole to drag the boat around a corner.
“Safraella doesn’t care,” I said. “A death is a death. Marcello would have been raised to believe so, too.”
“While my grandfather spoke to the lawmen about my mother, before he left, I snuck in to see her. She always wore a pendant. Said it was a gift from her grandmother and contained old magic. I wasn’t allowed to touch it because I was only half traveler.”
He lifted the pendant I’d seen before from under his shirt. It was a disc-shaped agate, with shades of blue radiating out from the center, polished to a high sheen.
“I took it, to remember her by. I didn’t know I’d never see any of my family again, but my grandfather didn’t notice what I’d done. I’m sure he was angry when he got home and saw her pendant missing. It’s all I have left of them. All I have from my previous life.”
I raised my eyebrow, trying to lighten the somber mood we’d fallen into. “Was that your first time being a thief?”
He chuckled. “No. Travelers worship three gods. One of them, Boamos, is a god of thievery and wealth. I’d definitely dabbled before. I daresay He—and my mother, actually—would have been quite pleased at my little act.” He flicked the pendant.
“What does kalla mean?” I asked.
He jerked the pole and the boat tilted sharply. Only my quick reaction kept me on my feet. He smiled slowly. “That’s for me to know. Unless you speak Mornian.”
His mood seemed to have lightened. This was probably the best chance I’d get to broach the subject. “Les, do you think I could speak with Marcello again?”
He blinked, and his smile vanished. “I told you, he’s forbidden you to return.”
“I know, but what would it hurt to try again?”
“He could leave. Just slip out when I’m not home, disappear on both of us.”
“Would he really do that?”
“It’s his favorite threat.”
I frowned. A threat wasn’t anything, though. It could have been false, an easy way to keep Les in line. Les said Marcello hadn’t left the tunnels in years, and I doubted seeing me again would be the final pressure to crack the egg.
“What if I promise this would be the last time? I could speak with him quickly, then leave. Let him think it over on his own terms. I can control my temper.” I could convince him to help me. I knew I could.
“Why are you in such a rush anyway?” Les asked.
I didn’t want to think about the letter, about the Da Vias searching Ravenna for me, discovering I’d come to Yvain. I just had to hope it would take them longer to find me than me to find them. “Sooner or later the Da Vias will find me here. I don’t have any time to waste.”
He watched the swirls on the canal water.
“Okay,” he finally said. “One more try. But you will have to be polite and respectful, even if he’s drunk. Even if he’s an ass. If you’re not, he won’t even listen to what you have to say.”
I nodded eagerly. “I can do that.”
We continued down the canal, lost in our thoughts. After a few moments the silence slipped into awkwardness. Les poled the boat and began to hum. I watched him.
“Do you always sing to yourself when thinking?” I asked.
He blinked. “I guess so. I’ve never really thought about it before. I used to sing in the tiger cages. And when I was hiding from the ghosts in the canals. I suppose it’s just a habit.”
I thought about humming my tune when marking a kill. It seemed we had something else in common.
“And here we are.” He poled his boat to a mooring and I saw that we’d reached the street next to their alley. Time to speak to Marcello.
Les tied the boat off and jumped out. I followed behind, but the boat rocked suddenly and I stumbled. Les grabbed my hand, steadying me. He laughed, his hand clasping mine, and I laughed too. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed. I’d forgotten how good it felt.
Les’s smile faded and he stared at me. His fingers stroked mine.
My breath caught in my throat and my cheeks burned. I pulled my hand free. “I think that’s enough for now.”
The wind blew a strand of his hair across his throat. Les rubbed his neck and nodded. “You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry.”
Was he? Because I didn’t have time for this. I needed to concentrate on the Da Vias and nothing else.
Even if, for an instant, I remembered how it felt to have a body pressed against mine, how it felt to feel so alive when Val kissed me and showed me how beautiful he thought I was.
But that wasn’t for me. It wouldn’t be fair, to feel so alive again, when my Family was dead because of me.
twenty-one
I SAT DOWN ON A CHAIR ACROSS FROM MARCELLO. HE glared at me while Les poured tea. Then Les disappeared into one of the back areas, leaving us alone.
I couldn’t decide if he was being polite, or a coward.