I do not know. But now I understand her tales from last night. Be careful! he charged me and suddenly faded from my mind. I felt nothing from the entity that had touched both of us but tightened my walls anyway. Vindeliar. I knew his name now, and his touch. And he would die.
I had seen Per. I discovered that Lant was part of the crew manoeuvring the ship into the harbour. When I knocked loudly on the door of Amber’s room, there was no response. I opened it to stillness. Spark was sprawled in her bunk. I shook her and she lifted her head. ‘I feel terrible,’ she slurred.
‘We were drugged. By Amber. Probably with a powder from my own kit.’ I talked as I dressed in the prepared clothes.
She swung her feet over the edge of the bunk and sat with her face buried in her hands. ‘Why?’
‘Because she thinks she has a better chance to rescue Bee than I do. What did she take?’
Spark peered around groggily. ‘Not her granny disguise. The trousers I’d made for Per. They’ll be short on her. A hat.’ She gestured at pots of cosmetics. ‘She disguised how pale she is.’ She took a deeper breath and sat up straighter. ‘It’s hard to tell. Some of your poisons, I think. One of mine. Is the butterfly cloak gone?’
It was.
Spark began going through an assortment of small packets next to her ‘fair maiden about to be wed’ disguise.
‘Did she take any of that?’
‘Not that I can see.’ She held out a hand to me. There was a pouch and a small paper. ‘Cindin or carris seed. You get first choice.’
I took the carris seed. I well knew how that affected me. ‘Where did you get this?’
‘Carris seed from Chade. Cindin from Prince Kennitsson.’
I ransacked my memory. ‘It gives stamina. May cause arousal in some. And may abort a baby.’
She gave me a look. ‘He wanted to share it with me. I palmed it.’
‘Nice fellow,’ I said, feeling strangely disappointed in him.
‘He is. He told me what it would do. We were both tired on the dog-watch. It wasn’t for romance, only for stamina.’
‘Mm.’ I opened the pouch of carris seed, gauged how much I needed, poured it into my hand and tossed it into my mouth. I ground the small seeds between my teeth, and the spicy flavour flooded out. Almost immediately my head felt clearer. I watched Spark put the stick of cindin in her cheek against her gum. ‘Dangerous habit,’ I warned her.
‘If it becomes a habit. It won’t.’ She gave me a sour smile. ‘Likely we’ll both be dead before that can happen. Are you keeping that carris seed?’
‘If I may.’
She nodded and resumed her survey of what remained in the room. I began setting the firepots into the belt she had made. She watched me with an eagle’s gaze. ‘Remember which fuse is which. Blue is slow. Chade has greatly refined those since you last used one. They are much more reliable and powerful. He is …’ She lifted a hand suddenly to her lips. ‘He was so proud of them,’ she corrected herself and I saw her eyes flood.
‘I’ll use them well,’ I promised her.
A moment later she announced, ‘The flame-jewel bracelet is gone!’
‘I’m not surprised. The firebrick?’
‘It’s here. And here’s a gentlemanly little shoulder bag I sewed for you yesterday. The brick will fit nicely in the bottom.’
‘Thank you.’ It suddenly felt companionable and right to be assembling my assassin’s gear with a fellow killer. I tucked the firebrick in the bag. It held it nicely upright. I removed one of the exploding pots from the harness and used a scarf to settle it on the firebrick. A grease poison, and an extra knife. She watched me.
‘Never carry all your supplies in one place,’ she guessed, and I nodded at Chade’s old wisdom. I watched her putting her picks into a cuff seam and said, ‘I’m a grandfather. Nettle Skilled to me this morning.’
‘Girl or boy?’ she asked without looking up.
‘A girl.’
‘Chade would have been a great-uncle? No, a great-great uncle.’
‘Something like that.’ The carris seed was bringing the morning into sharper focus. I would have blurted all my news out to the Fool. I weighed and measured what I knew before I spoke to Spark. How much would she understand? How much would she believe? ‘Nettle Skilled the news to me. And then, I sensed something else. Someone else. Vindeliar.’
She was horrified. ‘The man who made everyone forget at Withywoods. He Skilled to you?’
‘No. Yes. It was like Skill but … clumsier. And very powerful. As an ox is to a horse.’ Her eyes were getting wider. I told her the worst thing of all as it finally settled into my brain. ‘I think he felt me. And Paragon. I think he knows we are coming.’
Her expression looked as sick as I felt at that thought. I spoke quietly. ‘Pass me the tubes of Silver.’ It was unlikely I would do something so drastic. Very unlikely I would use them.
She moved tossed clothing, looking for them. ‘All our plans that we made … that was all a ruse? All the work I did?’
‘I consider it likely.’
I heard her catch her breath. ‘Fitz. There’s only one here. She’s taken a tube of Silver with her.’
TWENTY-NINE
* * *
Accusations
I was troubled beyond telling when I discovered Beloved had been taken from the cell beside mine. Had he died or been murdered, had he escaped or been freed? No one would allow me to ask those questions, let alone give me answers to them. To my cell came luriks trained as healers, and they treated the injuries the torturers had given me, but told me nothing of Beloved. They fed me nutritious food, and when I was healed they cautioned me to silence and released me to live among the luriks at Clerres. No one spoke of Beloved and I dared not ask anything. He faded like an insignificant dream, like the ripples from a tossed stone that spread, travel and are gone.
For a time, they suffered me to continue to live in one of the cottages, and to have access to the youngest Whites. Some of them were pathetic little things, frail of body and feeble of mind, skin white as snow and full of dreams they could barely enunciate. I did what I could with them. Others were keen enough in their thoughts and well able to grasp what I told them of the outside world.
As season after season passed, they grew to prefer my company, and to listen to what I taught them. It distressed me to see the very young girls going with child. I spoke of this to them, and tried to counsel them that this was not the way for men and women to conduct themselves. I spoke often of our duty to the greater world. The lingstras and collators heard of my counsels. Some came to speak with me.
Then the Four sent their guards. They were not unkind. They were not kind. They confined me as if I were a bullock, of little use now but too valuable to destroy. They took from my cottage the dreams I had recorded. They sought to discuss them with me, to add them to their knowledge. I refused to share my insights. But they must have seen how often the Destroyer figured in my dreams.
I was placed in a cell on the rooftop, given a comfortable bed, adequate food, pen and ink and paper for my dreams. I was left alone. Those who tended me were counselled not to speak to me.