“Why can’t I be with Peyton and Knox?” His voice was scratchy and quiet, his words ripping my heart into pieces like an unwanted note.
I hesitated, not sure how to answer him, not wanting to lie.
“Once you’re better, you can see them,” Afton answered for me.
“I have to go,” I said. “But I’ll be back later, okay? Is there anything you want?”
“Do they have ice cream here?”
“I’ll see.” I gave him one last smile before returning to Arik.
It was as if the world collapsed on me, the weight of it unbearable, suffocating. “Take me to Sinead,” I said, trying to compose myself.
Arik led me down the aisle, up two flights of stairs, and stopped at a glass partition. A willowy girl with doe eyes and hair so shiny it was like an iridescent oil slick opened the door. The gemstone piercings lining her pointy ears glinted in the light.
“We’re here to see the patient,” Arik said.
The girl nodded before opening the door then closing it behind us. We stopped at another partition and waited for her to let us through. Six beds lined the walls in this part of the infirmary, but only one was in use. A cocoon-shaped apparatus made of glass covered Sinead. She looked peaceful in her sleep. My emotions were still so raw from seeing all the sick people, from seeing poor little Dag, that I almost didn’t notice the new set of tears burning my eyes.
I placed a shaky hand on the barrier, wanting desperately to hold hers. “Has she spoken to anyone?”
Arik crossed his arms in front of him and shook his head. “No. She was unconscious when we found her in the barn. She’s in a faery sleep. The curers have done all they can for her. It is now up to her to do the rest.”
I turned away and wiped the tears now falling from my eyelashes. “How do we get her out of it?”
“We can’t.” He lowered his head as if he feared I would see something in his eyes.
“What are you hiding from me?”
“It’s nothing.”
“I know you better than most. We’re battle partners. Tell me.” I swiped away tears still lingering on my lids. “Tell me, Arik.”
His face lifted, his eyes capturing mine. “When Sinead married Carrig, their lives became tethered together. She can’t live without him, but he can live without her. Since she isn’t dead and is in this state, we believe Carrig is still alive.”
There was a silver thread in the midst of all the sadness. “So there’s hope,” I said, my gaze going to Sinead.
“By the state Sinead is in, Carrig is barely holding on to life.”
And the world collapsed again. I rested my forehead against the glass and closed my eyes.
Carrig is strong. He’ll be okay. He has to be okay.
I couldn’t fall apart. Carrig and the others needed me. I took several deep breaths, releasing them slowly, then turned to face him. “What are we going to do now?”
“Return to Asile,” he said. “Not straightaway. You need some rest.”
I nodded, too tired to speak.
“We need a break from all this despair,” he said. “Shall we get some air?” The sincerity in his voice softened his accent. It was soothing and held strength, even though I was sure he was hurting inside just as much as I was.
Arik had always been strong; I’d rarely seen him weak. It seemed so long ago we’d bumped into each other at the Boston Athen?um. So long ago that we were more than just sparring partners. So long since we’d shared intimate words, and he’d been the only star in my dark universe. I held on to hope that we could be true friends, not just cordial.
I walked beside Arik in silence down a long hallway. The glass walls and metal fixtures were cold and unwelcoming. When we exited a door and ended up in the lush outdoors of the Fey realm, it was a completely different feeling. It was warm and colorful, with floral smells and the musical humming of life around us—a paradise wasted on two people at odds with each other.
The path cutting through the thick shrubbery ended at a cliff with a decorative wrought iron barrier blocking it.
Wrapping my hands around the top of the fence, I arched my back to stretch it. My entire body was tense. “Wait. This isn’t iron,” I said, trying to ignore the weakness in my muscles. “Is it copper? It seems like everything here is made with it.”
“Yes, it is. You won’t find any iron in Tír na nóg,” he said, watching me intently. “It burns faeries.”
“Like their Kryptonite?”
“Sort of,” he said, pulling his stare from me and turning it to the valley below.
“It’s so beautiful here. It’s too bad we can’t stay forever.” My thoughts played back what I’d just gone through. Time was running out. For the sick. For our missing. Staying in the Fey realm wasn’t an option.
“We have to find Carrig and Nick…Lei and Jaran. We can’t waste time here.” I released my grip on the barrier and stepped away from him. If I kept moving, maybe the image of Dag in that infirmary bed wouldn’t catch me.
But it did chase me. His image blinked in and out of my mind. Dag with shadows under his eyes and a sore at the edge of his lips.
Arik followed me. “We sent tracers to search for them all, but our efforts were futile.”
“I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”
Dag’s hopeful eyes.
I strolled into a meadow full of bluebells just off the side of the pathway, disturbing several sprites sleeping under the foliage. They zoomed around and darted off across the grass.
Ice cream. Dag wanted ice cream. Such a simple request.
The grass sighed under Arik’s boots. “You’re as stubborn as guilt, if I’m honest. Will you please just do this one thing that I ask?” he said. “Once there is word, we will go. For now, just take a moment and breathe.”
Breathe? I was suffocating. “I’m worried.”
“I share that feeling,” he whispered, his face hidden in the shadows. “Seeing you bloodied and hurt in that bed nearly killed me.”
Maybe he was beginning to forgive me. Possibly, we could be friends and partners again.
Dag alone, wanting Peyton and Knox.
We came into a bloom of light from a crystal lamppost.
My stomach grumbled.
His lips twisted at the corners, and his dimples deepened. “You’re hungry. We should find something for you to eat.”
I wasn’t sure I could hold anything down. I’d rather curl up in a ball somewhere quiet and sleep.
Fall into nothingness and forget.
…
After having a quick meal of roasted chicken and vegetables, Arik and I returned to the lab. Nana and the curers were studying data on a large computer screen. Emily sat on a nearby stool reading the ancient spell book. When Nana heard us enter, she quickly turned off the screen. Emily’s face brightened at the sight of Arik.
“Hi, Arik,” Emily said, closing the book and hopping off the stool. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Hullo,” he said without looking at her.
His rudeness was like a slap across Emily’s face. The smile slipped from her lips, and she stood there like she didn’t know what to do next.
As I brushed by Arik on my way to Nana, I whispered, “You don’t have to be rude to Emily.”