Evie sent her a smile over her shoulder as she shut the door after herself.
With a heavy sigh, Mariah closed her eyes and sank down into the water until only her nose poked through the surface, content to suffer alone in her emotional turmoil.
In the fight with Robert, she’d won their latest skirmish.
So why did she feel as if she were losing the war?
Over the past few weeks, she’d grown battle weary and dreaded the long siege of the season ahead. She’d never realized before how difficult and draining it could be to fight for a dream, or battle her growing feelings for a man. And she did have feelings for him, blast him. She hadn’t lied to Evie. The more time she spent with him, the harder it became to see him as a heartless devil. And each time she saw him at work in the offices, her conviction that he wasn’t good enough for the company fractured a tiny bit more.
She groaned with frustration. What was she going to do?
CHAPTER TEN
The Night of Mariah’s Ball
The quadrille’s ending notes died away, and Mariah curtsied to her partner. She smiled gratefully when he placed her hand on his arm to lead her off the floor.
The ball proved to be a crush and was well on its way to being the event of the season. London society crowded into the ballroom in a sea of dazzling satins and jewels beneath glowing chandeliers, attended by an army of footmen bearing trays of champagne, and entertained by the orchestra playing from the landing above. An entire side room had been dedicated for refreshments, with even more rooms serving tonight as drawing rooms, game rooms, gentlemen’s smoking rooms, and ladies’ retiring rooms. Three sets of French doors stood open wide to the terrace and the dark garden beyond to let in the cool winter air and tamp down the stifling heat.
It was a grand celebration for her introduction, one she never would have dreamt possible six weeks ago. Or ever thought that she would actually find herself enjoying. But much to her own surprise, she was. Immensely. Even more so because Evie was here to share it with her. Her father had stayed home because he said he wanted her to enjoy the evening without being nervous by having him there. But Mariah knew the truth. Papa had never felt comfortable among the ton, and her chest panged with a hollow ache that he was determined to make her into a society lady and part of the people who would never accept him as one of them.
The ball wasn’t only for her, of course. Lady St James’s annual party was always one of the season’s most anticipated events, but the countess’s kindness in letting her be a special guest of honor touched Mariah. So did the way that Lord St James stopped the festivities to let Elizabeth give a special announcement to introduce her, then led the room in a toast to her. Oh, the moment had been simply magical! She’d felt like a princess in a fairy tale, and she wasn’t willing to let this wonderful night slip by without enjoying it.
Not even Robert Carlisle’s uncharacteristic moodiness could upset her tonight.
He’d been brooding since he arrived to collect her and Evelyn for the ball. Mariah thought they’d reached an understanding in their standoff…or at least a lessening of personal resentment, despite the bucket of dirty water. Apparently not, because from the moment he saw her descend the stairs in her ball gown, an odd grumpiness had fallen over him. He’d uttered not a spare word to anyone during the ride to St James House and maintained a pensive silence once they’d arrived, including during the opening dance when, as her escort, he’d been obliged to partner with her. Nothing seemed to please him tonight. He frowned in displeasure whenever anyone commented on how splendid she looked, how she would take society by storm, how she was certain to have dozens of gentlemen calling on her…as if the compliments were somehow her fault.
Heavens, would she never understand the man?
Elizabeth looped her arm through hers. “Are you having a good time, my dear?”
“A grand time,” she answered honestly with a beaming smile. She waved a gloved hand to indicate the room around them. “If I had known balls could be this much fun, I’d have begged to attend one long before now.” She placed her hand affectionately over Elizabeth’s. “But all of it is only due to you. I cannot tell you how grateful I am.”
Elizabeth glowed at the compliment, then slid her a sly glance. “Even if the purpose of the game is marriage?”
“That might be the path of the arrow,” Mariah countered with a clever smile of her own, “but we’re a long way from striking the target.”
With a light laugh, Elizabeth squeezed her arm. “There are more people I’d like you to meet.” She led her toward a group of ladies gathered a short distance away.
As they wove through the crush, Mariah made a furtive search but didn’t spot Robert anywhere. Not that she particularly wanted to see him, especially if he remained so dour. She only wanted a moment in private to thank him for what he’d done for Gatewell, that was all. Since his visit last week, he’d surprised her by sending several shipments of goods for the children, including a barrel of supplies for the schoolroom and a trunk filled with coats and boots of all sizes.
He’d also sent a special gift for Polly—a doll with rosy cheeks and blond curls, wearing a pretty pink dress. But it was the note that made Mariah tear up. A letter explaining that the doll’s name was Sarah and describing how Robert had met her just that morning in a lane in Clerkenwell, that she told him how she wanted to go to school to be with other children but was afraid of not having any friends…Perhaps Lucy could be her friend? With that introduction, Polly took to the doll immediately, and now everywhere she went she carried the blond Sarah under one arm and the headless Lucy under the other. It was the most thoughtful gift Mariah had ever seen.
Unable to resist, she asked as nonchalantly as possible, “And where is Robert?”
“Most likely in the smoking room, hiding away from marriage-minded mamas and their daughters who are shamelessly on the prowl for husbands.”
Mariah sent a suspicious glance at her, knowing how much Elizabeth wanted Robert to settle down with a wife and give her more grandchildren. “Aren’t you a marriage-minded mama?”
“Tonight I’m one by proxy for you, my dear.” Elizabeth gave a motherly squeeze to her arm. “Which isn’t the same thing at all.”
“I see.” She fought back a smile at how the irony of the situation went right over the duchess’s head.
No matter. Tonight, she planned to enjoy herself and ignore Robert, while simultaneously watching his every move.
And somehow keep an eye on Evelyn, even in the midst of the crush.
In her pale pink dress, her sister wasn’t easy to spot among a sea of pastel-colored misses crowding the room. Which was probably why Evelyn had chosen that specific dress in the first place—so that Mariah would be less able to keep watch over her if she wanted to sneak away with Burton Williams. Because of that, Mariah had tasked Whitby with guarding Evie tonight, to make certain her sister didn’t get into trouble at her first ball.
Fortunately, Evie was easier to track than anticipated, because unfortunately she never strayed far from Williams. But at least she was heeding Mariah’s warning to be careful. She’d danced only one turn with him so far, knowing what it meant if she gave him too many dances, and she’d not attempted to wander off alone with him. Yet.