I can’t. I can’t look at him.
His touch was a slight graze, reminding me of how soft and warm I felt in his arms. I focused on keeping my breathing even.
The business reports.
The inventory I needed to order.
The muffled chirping of the birds outside.
“Why won’t you look at me?” His words were taunting, yet they sounded pleading. “I’ve traveled all this way to see those beautiful green eyes looking up at me.”
My back hit the wall and the feeling of being trapped, with this man in front of me, sent chills down my spine.
“Please leave.” I didn’t know if the words left my mouth, they were so low.
“Why?” he muttered, his body inches from mine, and I could feel him, even though my eyes were still closed. “Because Mr. Brooks might come back to see you pushed up against this wall with me?”
I stood mute, his fingers dividing my emotions, as I forced my eyes open. His blue eyes studied my face.
“No,” I replied. “Lord Ashton may come calling, and I don’t want—”
Garrett chuckled, twirling a piece of my hair with his fingers. “Think so? Is he a large man, Avie? Because that is going to be the only way I stay away from you.”
“You don’t want to encounter him, trust me,” I lied. The only thing Garrett would have to worry about with Ashton would be covering his ears from his incessant talking, so they wouldn’t bleed to death.
He cocked his head to the side. “Hmm, maybe I do. I need to know who could possibly be taking care of you once I’ve been dismissed from your life. What does George have to say about all this?”
Shit.
“I’m not engaged to the man,” I rumble, clenching my brows together. “Besides, George would want me to be happy if I chose to marry another man.”
But he’d interrogate the shit out of him first.
“Then he proves to be a better man than me because I won’t,” Garrett conveyed, letting his fingers brush my collarbone.
I pushed against his chest, but he didn’t move. “I want you to leave.”
“You are going to have to sound more convincing than that,” he breathed.
“Did you need me to explain what the word means, Cranfield?”
A shockwave of lust hit my gut when his arm gripped my waist. His strong, lean body pressed up against me.
“I’ve missed this.” His face inched closer to mine, breathing me in. “The way you smell like fresh linen and lavender.” He eyed my neck. “The way you make me feel when I’m around you.”
“What do you want from me?” I asked, exasperated.
“Again with the loaded questions, Avie.”
I pushed again on his hard chest, needing distance. I could feel the power he had over me start to take hold again.
“Please,” I murmured, not recognizing my own voice.
“Just tell me you don’t feel this,” he pleaded, sounding like he was fighting an inner battle within himself as well. “That it’s just me. That I’m so fucked up in the head I’m imagining shit now.” He cupped my face with both hands, forcing me to meet his eyes. “I can’t forget that night at the picnic. So what did you do to me?”
“I—I didn’t do anything.”
“Didn’t you, though?” He sounded angry, but his thumbs brushed both sides of my cheeks gently. “I don’t do this. I don’t chase women across the damn country to fucking talk to me. My plan is to go back home after this is all over. I’m not going to look back.”
I nodded weakly. I’d heard him mention that before.
His fingers pressed faintly into my cheeks as he closed the distance between us, molding our bodies together. “Don’t just nod like this isn’t anything. Like you couldn’t give two shits if I leave and never come back. Tell me you want me to stay.”
I bit my lip, shaking my head. “I’d never make you do that. I know you hate it here.”
“Tell me you want to come with me then.” He studied my face, as though the answers were written there. But he wouldn’t find them. I couldn’t leave Papa here alone with the business. He needed me.
“No.” I breathed, the word feeling like acid leaving my lips.
“So you’d leave this decision in my hands?”
“There are no decisions to make.”
Garrett pulled away, repositioning his hands against the wall, caging me between them. He clamped his eyes closed, hanging his head. I wouldn’t ask him to give up his life for me, and he wouldn’t do it either.
“Kiss me goodbye,” he exhaled. He didn’t move, didn’t touch me; simply left the decision lingering for me to make.
Damn him.
I hesitated. We both could break from another kiss like what we had that night. There were so many abraded emotions that were unleashed that night.
Or maybe it was just a magical night; something within the air or the right tempo of the music. One that I wouldn’t get ever again.
I wouldn’t, unless I did as he asked.
Placing one hand behind his neck and the other on his cheek, I leaned forward, taking in his scent of pine and man. His breathing hitched, his pulse quickening beneath my fingers.
Pressing my lips against his, I didn’t think, I just felt. He didn’t take over the kiss, or move his hands off the wall; he just let me do what I was willing to give. Opening my mouth more, I took his lips deeper, wanting to know if I could experience it again. That intoxicating feeling of needing to taste him, feel him shudder under my touch, and strike lightning through my veins. My body swayed toward him, his breaths coming in short spurts as I stole them from him.
He moaned softly when my tongue found his. His body adjusted, and the slightest brush of his hands grazed my upper arms, but then disappeared, as if he was restraining himself from touching me.
But I wanted him to. I wanted to see how long it would take him to lose his mind, like I was about to.
It wasn’t just that night.
I felt it now.
My whole body singed in contrast to his, aching for him to take over the kiss and make me melt. The addictiveness of his kiss was something I couldn’t deny; my whole body surrendered for the first time in my life. He opened up a whole world of wanting for me, and I wanted to be selfish.
Nibbling his lower lip to coax him into releasing my command and take over, he groaned, pressing his forehead against mine. His breaths were unsteady, and our mingled air mixed together. My selfishness wouldn’t let him recover, nor stop, what I wanted, though, which was more. Demanding his mouth again, I cocked my head to the side, deepening the kiss. Dizziness wafted over me as I took his oxygen as mine, as though he was the one keeping me alive. The self-indulgent side of me hungered for more, the waves of lust piercing through me. That was when he abruptly broke the kiss, inching away from me.
“Now I’m convinced you’re trying to kill me.” His hand found my shoulder, keeping me firmly against the wall.
“You don’t look scared,” I teased, peering up at him with innocent eyes. He flexed his brows, his chest rising and falling with rapid pants, as he shook his head.
“Yes, I am.” He sighed, letting out a harsh breath. “I’d give you the fucking Elite Eight to do with as you will with that.”
I leaned closer. “You already did that.” He spread his fingers across my shoulder, which sent shock waves between my legs.
He looked down at me, his eyes full of lust. “What is it that you want then? I’m at your command.”
My lips curved slowly into a grin. “Don’t ask such a loaded question, Garr.”
He chuckled, as his hand descended, along the side of my breast, sliding down my ribs. “I was hoping it’d be something in this room.”
A loud knock sounded at the study door, and a groan filled the air. I didn’t know if it was mine or his. Garrett stepped away from me, hunger still in his eyes.
“We’re not done,” he whispered. Bringing me to Papa’s chair, he pulled it out for me to sit.
“Come in,” I rasped, trying to gain normal function of my body. The door opened, unveiling Reddington behind it. He came in with a smile, pausing when his eyes landed on Garrett.