It may have been the soft way it rolled off her lips. Or maybe I was starting to get jealous of her being with another man and my not being able to touch her anymore, especially when it was one of the closest human beings to me. I couldn’t betray my brother, but it didn’t mean I would be happy about their marriage.
“So, you’d submit your happiness to marry my brother?” The air seemed to be leaving the room as I watched her chest heave in and out. She was getting just as worked up as me but not in the way I was. I was pissed; she was upset. And I had just said I’d never hurt her.
She opened her mouth but closed it again. Watching her find the right words, or to break it to me softly, began to rack my nerves. I began to question myself about her… Was I wrong?
“George is my best friend. He has always tried to protect me,” she decreed. “I owe him.”
“You don’t owe him shit,” I countered. “He’s a big boy now. George doesn’t need to be saved by a small woman so that his happiness is well-kept.”
Her eyes tightened. “We have a history. We protect each other.”
I threw my hands up in the air, turning my back on her. “This is fucking ridiculous.” Shaking my head, I ran my fingers through my hair before rounding on her again. “Where is the strong Ava that knew what she wanted? Who knew that she wanted to explore the world and see new things? Did she die when she was almost killed? Because I don’t see her now.”
“Stop it,” she growled, stiffening in her chair. Her eyes were directed to the floor. I stalked over to her, crouching down beside her chair.
“Avie, what the fuck happened? There has to be something.”
“Cecilia sent Caroline Bennett away, married her off to one of the Lords staying here in the castle.” Her attention locked onto the fireplace. “She knew that George was using her to buy time. Father has been pushing to press his intention on me. That I was already trained and bred to be Queen. There is no one else worthy enough to fit the bill, so George said we might have to marry after all.”
I bit my tongue to keep from lashing out at her for being a hypocrite; for being upset about my fake marriage to Sophia when she had plans of her own.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She looked back over to me. “Because I didn’t want to think about it when we went to the picnic. I wanted to leave Ava Barlow here.”
I planted my hand on her knee. “I told you that my kisses would be the only ones you’d remember from now on.” I rubbed my thumb over her dress, trying to relieve some of the tension on her body. “You think George will erase them? That he’d make you shudder in his arms like you did in mine, Avie?”
“I wanted one night. One night of freedom. While Ava Barlow was here, awaiting her fate. Waiting for everyone to tell her what to do and who to marry. Even though…even though I didn’t want to come back here, to this prison of a castle. I came because you asked me to.” She shook her head, her voice hardening. “You and George promised to protect me. But you can’t protect me. I will never get what I want. I’ve accepted it. So, if I’ve hurt your feelings, I’m sorry, but you’ll get over it.”
“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” I retorted, turning my head away so she couldn’t see that she did hit a mark with me. The thought of her marrying my brother sent a rush of jealousy through me. I’d never felt it until now, and I didn’t like how the feeling suited me so perfectly in this moment.
Ava raised her chin. “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s right. You’re Garrett Cranfield, the serious, no bullshit-taking older brother, who has no feelings.” Rising from the chair, she walked around me, striding toward her bed.
“Don’t be dramatic, Avie. It doesn’t suit you.”
“I’m not one of your men, Cranfield. So fuck off with your orders.”
She reached for her wrap off her bedframe and wrapped it around her shoulders, making her way toward the door.
“You didn’t speak the whole truth to me either, Avie. I had other plans with my so-called arrangement. You, on the other hand, were going to hand yourself to the wolves.”
“I’m not going to explain myself,” she decreed, placing her hand on the doorknob. Pausing, with her back to me, I saw her shoulders slump before she slowly shook her head. “Goodbye, Cranfield.”
And with that, she opened the door, exiting and closing it without a backward glance.
Ava
Chapter 23
“I must leave immediately,” I reported to George, finding him in the palace stables. Searching for him wasn’t hard; it was early in the morning, and the only people bustling around were the help. It was too early for anyone to go for a ride or run an errand, by a Lord’s standard. I’d noticed the Lords that occupied the castle were lazy and didn’t wake up until after noon, still drunk or weary from the night before. In Bampshire, men were up before the sun, working and getting their days started. Brushing his prized stallion, George peered over his shoulder at me, letting his brush fall to his side.
He raised his eyes heavenward. “Ava, if it’s about Garr, we talked about this. I told you that he isn’t going to marry her.”
“This isn’t about him. Look!” I shoved the letter I received moments ago from Mrs. Reynolds at him. Opening it, his eyes quickly scanned the message as he read. My stomach was in knots, my anxiety heightened at the contents. She reported that Papa was very ill and the doctors in town weren’t sure how to get his fever down or keep him from retching up his food. He’d been doing it for over four days.
He drew in a deep breath. “Did you just receive this?”
I nodded. “Yes, I came to you right away.” Throwing down his brush, he placed his hand on my back, pushing me toward the exit of the stables.
“Go get some clothes packed, and I’ll get the coach ready for you immediately.”
“Lucy and Miranda are already doing it.” I halted, turning on George. “Do you think it’s serious? I can’t bear the thought of—”
George placed a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t think like that. Your father is a strong man. He just needs a doctor who knows what he’s actually doing. Now, go make sure they are getting together everything you need.”
I hurried off quickly. This was never going to end. My life was never going to pan out. Now fate wanted to take not only my freedom away, but also put my father’s health at risk. My brain was exhausted from its constant racing and pondering of the future. When I got to my room, Lucy and Miranda were finishing up, throwing a few random outfits in a small travel bag, along with odds and ends.
When they finished, I hugged them both, telling them I would be back as soon as I could. They gave me well wishes for safe travels as I carried my two small bags. Crossing the grassy field to the stable, I watched as George drove a small carriage hooked to four horses toward me.
“I don’t want you traveling on horseback; you’re still getting back all your strength,” George stated, jumping down to load my luggage.
I didn’t argue. From my lack of sleep and eating, I didn’t have the energy to ride aside my own horse for four days. Movement to my right caught my attention, as four large men approached. I recognized them instantly; they were half of the Elite Eight.
I turned and looked at George. “No,” I snapped. George gave me a questioning stare and followed my gaze.
“You didn’t think you were going alone, did you?” he asked, eyebrow raised. “You know better.”
“Don’t you have other men that can come with me?” I scowled. It could be anyone else. I didn’t want to use Garrett’s men, nor did I want any more of his help.
George put his hands on my forearms. “He doesn’t know…yet, that I borrowed them.” Pulling me into his arms, he hugged me tightly, placing his chin on top my head. “The men are going to report to me when you stop for fresh horses, to let me know where you are. Once you’ve checked in on your father and are settled in, write me at once. I will be sending a doctor behind you. I’d feel more comfortable if one of my physicians takes a look at him.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled into his chest.