Are You Sleeping

It’s a bombshell, Poppy had said.

I didn’t want to listen, but I felt compelled to do so. The notion that this girl, this girl who used three exclamation points and misused an o as a zero, would soon know something about our family that I did not yet know made me feel a little crazy. My return to New York forgotten, I clicked over to Poppy’s website and began downloading the episode.

“What are you up to?” Caleb asked casually, yawning as he wandered in from his own makeshift office across the hall. He froze when he saw the look of grim determination on my face. “Seriously, Jo, what are you up to?”

“Poppy Parnell posted a new episode.”

“Are you sure you want to listen to that rubbish?” Caleb asked, frowning in concern. “Remember how stressed it’s made you?”

“Of course I don’t want to listen,” I snapped. Caleb’s soft eyes widened in surprise, and I was immediately contrite. “God, Caleb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just . . .” The end of my sentence was lost in exhausted, defeated tears.

“Hey now,” he said, sinking onto the bed beside me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “It’s okay. Things will look different tomorrow when we’re home.”

I wanted to believe him. As I rested my head against his chest, listening to the reassuring drumbeat of his heart, I commanded myself to believe him. The following night, I would be climbing into our own bed back home in Brooklyn, not tossing and turning in this old twin bed, knowing that my sister was just across town.

But it didn’t matter that the view was different from New York: things would still be the same. My parents would still be dead, my sister would still be unraveling, and the podcast would still be making headlines.

With black resolve, I pushed away from Caleb’s comforting embrace and reached for my earbuds.





Excerpt from transcript of Reconsidered: The Chuck Buhrman Murder, Episode 5: “A Question of Character,” September 28, 2015

Personal reputation plays a huge role in the case against Warren Cave. It was easy for police—and later, a jury—to trust Lanie Buhrman, a sad-eyed, conventionally attractive teenaged girl, the progeny of a well-liked college professor and a local daughter. And it was similarly easy for them to be suspicious of Warren Cave, who was purposefully subversive in his appearance, an admitted drug user, and newer in town.

But these last couple of weeks I’ve spent in Elm Park have made me wonder if these reputations aren’t little more than tropes and prejudice; I think the truth surrounding some of the major players is more complicated than we know.

I’ll start with Lanie Buhrman. Before I do, I want to say that I know some of you have accused me of “victim-blaming” every time I dare to question Lanie Buhrman’s character. First, allow me to remind you who the real victims in this case are: Chuck Buhrman, whose life was tragically cut short, and possibly Warren Cave, who I am growing more and more convinced is innocent. Lanie Buhrman is not a victim, and I’m certainly not blaming her for anything. I’m not accusing her of any wrongdoing or any misconduct. I’m simply directing sunlight onto her character so that her statements can be properly evaluated.

Unfortunately, finding anyone who knew Lanie in the time period immediately preceding her father’s death is easier said than done. Chuck and Erin homeschooled their children, so there are no teachers or classmates to talk to. Chuck, Erin, and all four grandparents are dead. The rest of her family has declined to participate in this podcast.

In fact, the only person I found who would speak to me about Lanie Buhrman’s teenaged years was Jason Kelly, Amelia’s ex-husband. He remembers Lanie as a happy, playful child. However, his recollections are limited, as he and Amelia divorced two years before Chuck’s death, and he admits that he didn’t see the Buhrman family after the divorce. A teenager’s mood can change drastically in two years.

What is certain is that, at some point, Lanie Buhrman stopped being happy and playful and became a delinquent. Police records indicate she was ticketed a handful of times for minor offenses such as curfew violation, loitering, and possession of alcohol. She was arrested once for vandalism and once for possession of a small quantity of marijuana; she wasn’t charged either time. I spoke with Harold Greenway, the principal of Elm Park High School during the Buhrman twins’ tenure, and he remembered Lanie as a troublemaker.

GREENWAY:

We tried to be accommodating, of course. The Buhrman girls came from a homeschooled environment, and they’d tragically lost their parents. We expected there to be something of a learning curve with them, but Lanie pushed us to our limits. She regularly skipped school, failed to complete assignments, and ignored rules such as dress codes and a prohibition on tobacco products. We attempted to intervene—we assigned counselors to her, we talked to her guardian—but nothing seemed to get through to her.



Lanie’s former classmates echoed the sentiments of the principal: people wanted to help her, but she rebuffed all advances. I spoke with Trina Thompson, a former classmate of the Buhrman twins, and she described Lanie’s behavior to me.

POPPY:

When did you meet the twins?



TRINA:

In January 2003, when they transferred to public school. Everybody was talking about them when they arrived, of course. Their father’s murder was the most scandalous thing to happen in this town since that time someone set fire to the Family Tree restaurant. Everybody had been reading the newspapers, plus it was interesting to have two homeschooled students arrive, especially when they’re twins.



POPPY:

Were you friends with either of them?



TRINA:

I wouldn’t say I was friends with either of them, but I was friendly with Josie. She started dating a friend of mine, and we ran in the same social circles. She was nice enough, but difficult to get to know.



POPPY:

And Lanie?



TRINA:

Definitely not. Lanie Buhrman had absolutely no interest in anyone other than the school’s most burned-out losers. Everyone was super-friendly to her at the start, but she was just plain nasty to all of us. And then she got really deep into drugs and whatever. I heard she used to steal money from people’s lockers during gym class. Oh, and she was part of the group that vandalized the football field the night before the Homecoming game senior year.



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