“What?” He shot the bastard a look, trying to keep his voice down as his chest burned with rapid fire from his increased heartbeat. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Tim.” He whispered the terse words, wishing he could grab the guy and pummel him right then and there with his bare hands. “You bet on me? I’m not a damn horse!”
“Relax, take it as a compliment.” The fucker rolled his eyes and blew him off with the greatest of ease.
“What if I told you I slept with your mom because she’s hot? Would you take that as a compliment, too? Jesus Christ!” He turned his glare back to the computer screen.
“You were the best Sonic the Hedgehog player I knew! What did you expect me to do? Look, I’m sorry if you think I should’ve told you first, but I thought you’d enjoy it, man. Cut me some slack. At least tell me you’ll think about it.”
Aiden shrugged. “I don’t think so. Besides,” he said, draining the contents of his coffee cup and instantly hurting for more, “what’s in it for me?”
“The winner gets $1,000.00.”
Aiden’s eyes instantly widened. Now this was a prize worthy of coming out of videogaming retirement for.
“I’m in! Wait a minute… what’s my cut?” He looked at Tim suspiciously, remembering who the hell he was dealing with. Tim was a great pal, but could be a bit of a shyster with money and gambling deals.
“We could split it fifty-fifty.”
“Aaaaaand I knew you were going to try and pull a fast one. Just once I’d like for you to surprise me and be an upstanding dude.” Aiden chuckled.
“Well, there’s no fun in that,” Tim teased with a crooked grin. “I think it’s fair though.”
“About as fair as a bridge being sold to me. Look, if I’m doing all the work, Tim, why would we split it fifty-fifty?”
“Finder’s fee.” Tim winked.
“You’re the most expensive finder I know… Anyway, you’ve gotten way ahead of yourself putting me on the auctioning block. I’m rusty. You had no business betting on me without talking to me first.” Their boss walked past and they gave him a friendly nod, drawing quiet until he was out of earshot.
“One … thousand … dollars!” Tim burst out in a wicked laugh like Dr. Evil from the movie, “Austin Powers” as he pressed the tip of his pinky finger at the corner of his lower lip. “Okay, 60/40.”
“I haven’t played it in years.”
“I’ve got you covered. You can practice.”
“How?” Aiden threw up his hands. “I’d have to go on eBay and try to track an old one down, and there is no telling if it would be legit or not. Have you heard about these people just selling the boxes of this shit?” He smirked. “You get scammed on collector’s items, vintage stuff, you know, if you’re not careful.”
“I’ve taken care of that, too.” Tim rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.
Of course you did, you snake…
“I’ve got it at home. The original. My Dad dug my old one up from the basement for me. Imagine that, huh? And it still works!”
“Oh, how lucky for me. Whoop dee motherfucking doo!” Aiden laughed. “70/30 and I’ll think about it. I’m not making any promises. Get back to work, man!”
“Come by tonight and take a look,” Tim called out before sauntering off back to his cubicle, pep in his arrogant step. Just then Mark, king asshole numero uno, waltzed by and hung like a pair of musty socks on a line against his cubicle.
“Hey.” He peered at him with his serpent-like amber eyes. “I hear you’re interviewing for the manager’s position that came up.” The bastard tapped a quick little ditty against the wall of his cubicle, as if his statement warranted a musical accompaniment.
“Yeah…” was all Aiden offered, his attention on his computer screen.
“Not to cause any trouble or anything, but do you think you’re actually qualified, Aiden? I mean…” The guy shrugged in an exaggerated way. “You have no managerial experience whatsoever. I, on the other hand, was a manager over at Phylerite.”
“Yeah, and that worked out so well that now you’re over here, terrorizing all of us mere peasants. Get the hell away from my cubicle, Mark. I’ve got a lot of work to do and I’m not in the mood for your shit today.”
“Hey.” The man’s devious smile grew wider, as if he enjoyed the unfriendly banter. “I’m just tryna have a little chit chat.”
“Go chit chat with yourself. No one in here is interested in talking to you. Didn’t you get the memo?”
“I’m going to ignore your immature jabs and be the better man. Here’s a little tip that may help you Aiden, I think—”
“Oh, boy! Let me turn around and give you my full attention so I can get a grasp of these rare intellectual jewels you’re about to toss my way! I’m not worthy!”
Mark ignored him and continued on with his spiel.
“Aiden, you might want to hang around people with a bit more class so they can show you the ropes. Tim, for instance, is not going anywhere in life and you know what they say? To become what you want to be, you need to hang around with those you want to be like.”
“You must hang around the john all day staring at floating shit then. Fuck off.”
Mark chuckled, then turned on his heels and vanished, like a fart that no one could see, but could definitely smell.
Aiden rubbed his tired eyes, shot his gaze towards his desk phone, then back at the screen. The night prior had been one of the longest of his life. He was up for half of it, listening to his mother rattle on about how her boss at the restaurant kept cheating her out of her hours and her paycheck was nothing to write home about, either. Who knew if the woman would even recall what they’d discussed? She always seemed to forget the next day. He looked at the phone once more, and after a long, heavy exhale, he picked up the receiver and gave her the customary morning call.
“Hello…” she said in a groggy voice. He couldn’t tell if she was just sleepy or still drunk. Oftentimes, it sounded the same either way.
“Mom, are you up for work? You’re supposed to be by now so that you’re not late.”
“Mmmm.” He heard what sounded like plastic bottles falling to the floor. “What … what time is it?”
“8:54, Mom… You’re supposed to be at work by 9:30 today according to the schedule you gave me. You’re going to be late.” He sighed as he checked the time on his computer.
“Shit.” She gasped, as if coming to the sudden realization that he was right.
He could almost envision her trying to rise out of the bed, but falling flat on her back, her silky, wrinkled slip drifting off one shoulder. A flash of her drunken state the month prior knocked on his brain as if it were made of wood. It was a broken record… fucking Groundhog Day.
“Mmmm, thank… thanks for the wakeup call.” She laughed lightly, as if a little joke had been shared between mother and son. He wasn’t the least bit amused and as he looked down into his empty coffee mug, he wished he could simply hang up and move on with his day. Playing babysitter was wearing on his nerves as of late. He’d been doing it for as long as he could remember but he was nearing his breaking point.
They rolled around in a stretch of silence, while he craved the caffeine more than ever. A beer would’ve taken the edge off, but that would have to wait until he clocked out of work.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he finally said, not wishing to drag out the awkward silence a second longer.