The next couple of weeks flew by, though they certainly weren't without their awkward silences and angry pauses on the part of my two biggest fans. The prince and his mentor continued to ignore me during our practices. I quickly got accustomed to feeling a sense of shame whenever I was in the same room as them. It was particularly excruciating during our after dinner practice when we performed our pain castings… but somehow I managed to shut out that feeling as the days went on.
Instead of letting their cold shoulders get to me, I was more than happy to spend time with Ella. My friend and I didn't have a curfew or restrictions now that we were apprentices, so we spent a lot of time wandering the small village of Sjeka during our free time. Alex somehow managed to get himself in trouble with Master Joan, so he wasn't able to join us, but my younger brother Derrick did. He was supposed to obey first-year conduct, but the chance to spend time with his older sibling was too tempting to ignore. I would have been lying if I said I minded.
"I don't think I'm good enough," Derrick confessed on the last evening before solstice. "I'm afraid I'll disappoint Mother and Father." He swallowed. "And you and Alex."
"Derrick." I reached out to take my little – well, not so little anymore - brother by his shoulders. "You can't – it's not possible. We love you too much to care if you get an apprenticeship or not."
"But you and Alex-"
I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."
"My brother didn't get one," Ella added, scooting closer on our bench. We had picked one overlooking the Sjeka coast – far enough away from the Academy that no one would spot Derrick, but close enough that we wouldn't get lost in total darkness on our return to the Academy. "I still think the world of him." She snorted. "Or I would, if he didn't hound the card tables. But I still love him."
"But Combat's my dream!" Derrick moaned. "And everyone is better than me!"
I gave him a small smile. "That's only in casting."
"But that's the part that matters!" Desperation was bright in his eyes and my heart lurched. I had been in his position one year ago. It hurt me to see him look at me with the same hopelessness I had felt.
"In Ishir I trained with the regiment," I pointed out. "Every morning we spent two hours training with the soldiers and knights, not just the mages. The things those men and women were able to do – it would make anyone proud to come from the Cavalry or School of Knighthood… I know it's not what you want to hear, but you don't need magic to be strong, Derrick."
My brother fidgeted with something in his hand. The odd glint caught my eye and suddenly I laughed.
"Is that…?"
My brother couldn't help smiling. "Yeah."
Ella peered curiously over his head to see what I was staring at. In my brother's tanned palm was a simple copper ring – tarnished in spots and not particularly attractive. It had a thick band with an "R" embedded on its surface.
I had given Derrick that ring years ago. It was actually my ring, and Alex had one just like it. Our parents had given them to us on our seventh birthday. Derrick had only been four years old at the time, and he hadn't quite gotten used to the fact that Alex and I were twins. He had thought it meant that I loved Alex more, and it had upset him to no end that I should share such a shiny trinket with one brother and not the other. Derrick had cried until I'd finally caved – and so I'd given him my own ring, telling him that the two rings now belonged to "both of my favorite brothers." I hadn't thought much of the ring since, and I wasn't sure Alex still even had his, but after all this time Derrick had held onto mine.
I thought of Darren with his cruel older brother, Prince Blayne. Those two would never be close. On the other hand, I had a twin who knew me like the back of his hand, and a younger brother who could make me laugh or cry with the simplest gesture. I was the lucky one.
****
"This place doesn't change at all." Alex's amused voice carried into my room as he opened my chamber door without warning.
"Alex!" Ella shrieked. "Get. Out!" She grabbed the nearest book off my nightstand and lobbed it at my twin's head.
"What are you…" My brother flushed a very deep shade of red as he realized he had walked in on us getting ready for the solstice ball. Though we were already in our underdress, it was still inappropriate. "I'm-" The book hit his face with a loud slap and he ducked out of the room.
"He is lucky I didn't cast fire!" she muttered darkly.
I snickered. "I think he's lucky regardless."
"Oh you!" Ella punched me lightly in the arm. "You are not helping at all!"
"Well it has been months." I sighed. "I think it's time the two of you moved past what happened. I don't like walking on eggshells."