“I can’t promise I won’t want to kiss you or want more, Raven. There’s this thing between us I can’t seem to understand. But I want to get to know you better. If the only way to be around you is by friendship, then I can do that.”
Her features softened. Wariness blazed in those inky eyes, but Dalton suspected it was more than fear of him breaking his word not to come on to her. No, there was another worry he hadn’t figured out yet. He needed more time with her. Maybe he could turn this intense attraction into a solid friendship. After all, he’d slept with many women in his past and been able to become friends with them. It was possible.
He wanted to try.
“I don’t want us to hurt each other,” she said softly.
He jerked back. Emotion poured through him. He ached to reach out and take her hand, pull her into his embrace just for a few minutes. But he hadn’t earned the right, and she needed to feel she could trust his intention for friendship.
“I don’t, either. So let’s not.”
She ducked her head. He waited as she struggled with something he didn’t understand. Finally she met his gaze and nodded. “Okay. Let’s try.”
Joy flooded through him. He clinked his cup to hers. “To trying. To friendship. And to kicking Xavier’s ass.”
She laughed. “You wanna continue training with me?”
“Maybe. As much as I hated him, I’ve never been pushed like that. It made me reach a higher level.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. I carried around a lot of anger before. Most of us do; I’m not special. I tried plenty of ways to get rid of it, but most of them were pretty negative. These past few years, I feel like I’ve really grown up. Almost as if I needed to self-destruct in order to get here. Does that sound stupid?”
Her admission humbled him. It took him a while before he could smother his emotions about how well she had spoken to his own faults. The crap with his brothers. Kissing Cal’s fiancée in an effort to prove his brother was marrying the wrong woman. The endless affairs with women he didn’t care about, and fights with his father, and the way he’d run off with a big fuck-you, determined to never lose his pride, though he’d lost his brothers along the way.
“Not stupid at all. Sounds like my own life. I thought I was happy before, you know? But I wasn’t even close.”
“Why?”
He pondered the question. “I wanted to open my own business and prove my father was wrong for denying me my voice. See, we all had certain roles in the business back when my mom was alive. I wanted to expand the woodworking separately and target customized clients, but my dad always believed I was a fuckup. Sometimes I think he enjoyed making me feel useless. He was closest to Cal, who was the most like him. I was closest to my mother. When she died, I got lost, and everything at home fell apart. I made some mistakes and broke away from my brothers.”
She didn’t try to jump in with a soothing comment or pretend to know how he felt. She just nodded. Listened. Waited.
“When I bolted to California, I thought I was the man. I ran my own business, did what I wanted, and was finally away from my family. But looking back, I realize it was empty. I was trying to prove myself to everybody, but there was no one there. I had left it all back home. Then my father passed, and I came back here. My brothers and I began rebuilding something that was important once, and I realized this was where I belonged. And I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone but myself. Suddenly I wasn’t empty anymore.”
Her gaze was transfixed on his, as if he held the answers to all the questions she had. “You said you weren’t happy before.” She paused. “Are you now?”
He smiled, enjoying the softer way she looked at him. “I’m getting closer.”
A current of understanding passed between them. He rarely opened up to women, choosing to keep his private life and past to himself. But with Raven, the words spilled from his lips in a natural manner that didn’t seem to spook him.
At least not yet.
She finished her smoothie and rose. “I gotta go.”
“Will you talk to me tomorrow?”
She rolled her eyes, but her attitude had lost the edge and distance he’d hated. “Yes, I’ll talk to you. You have my stools hostage.”
“Good to know. If I keep to the schedule, I’ll be able to tear out the booths this weekend, and you can reopen My Place. I can do the rest after hours or work on the back deck.”
“Sounds good.” She paused. “See ya.”
“See ya.”
He grinned like an idiot and didn’t even care. He headed out shortly after, whistling while he drove home. At least they’d reached a compromise. It was going to be hell keeping his hands off her, but he wanted her company. Besides, friendship could lead to something more down the road, when she’d worked out her issues. He just prayed Mr. Right didn’t walk into the bar and claim her first.