Treacherous mind. Treacherous heart.
Gowan clings to me, and he is still shaking. There are tears on his cheeks.
“I love you,” he tells me again. “I’m so sorry.”
He doesn’t expect anything from me. I know it in the moment he falls asleep before I’ve had a chance to reply.
He loves me, without expecting anything from me in return.
“You’re so stupid,” I tell him, and then I hold his head, because I can’t ignore what has happened, even though I’d like to try.
It’s brighter in the morning, which is weird, because there’s no sun. There is no dawn and no daylight. There is no sky. I gather my green-speckled dress and slip it over my head, wincing with the coldness and the damp smell of the fabric, and then I turn to look at Gowan.
He is frowning in his sleep, and there are dark circles beneath his eyes. When did that happen? I bend down, curling my hand into a fist, and pretend to iron his forehead. Iron away his worries. Still asleep, he half smiles and the knot in his brow loosens. I grin, my lips traveling over his naked body.
Nice.
I reach for his shirt, intending to fold it neatly, when something occurs to me in the second before I touch it.
His shirt.
His trousers.
I lift both from where they have become tangled in roots that grew overnight. Both items are beautiful. Blue jeans and a green shirt. So new. So clean. So dry.
And not a dot of green mold anywhere on them.
I raise his shirt to my nose and inhale. The same sweet scent. No mildew, no rot. No damp—nothing.
I glance down at Gowan and realize that I have never seen mold growing on him the way I found it on Nori and me. I have never seen him looking less than perfect.
What is this? [HE FOOLED YOU SO EASILY.]
It can’t be.… [SILLY SILLA. HE’S BEEN SO CLOSE ALL THIS TIME.]
Gowan can’t be—[THE CREEPER MAN THE CREEPER MAN THE CREEPER MAN!]
I drop the clothes and back away, but the movement wakes him and he smiles up at me.
“G’morning,” he says, sleepy-eyed and dopey-smiled.
I can’t look at him. I can’t stay. He’s been lying.
He sees my thoughts on my face. “Silla?”
“Stay away.”
He sits up, panic in his eyes. “Whoa, what’s going on?”
“You never have any mold on you.…”
“What?”
I swallow. Calm. But I back away from him. “Nori and I both had this green mold growing on us from the house. It’s like it was infected and getting us sick, too. But you… you never did. You never look less than perfect.”
“Silla…”
“The curse never touched you.” Away. I back away.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Who are you? Why are you here?” [LIAR. HE’S A LIAR.]
“Silla, calm down.”
“Tell the truth! Why did you come to La Baume that day?” [RUN! RUN AWAY!]
“I told you—”
“You told me you lived here once. But you’re hiding something.”
He hesitates.
“No lies! Tell me the truth!”
“Okay. Yes, I’ve not told you everything about myself, about… but I care about you. I love you.”
“You’re him. You’re him.…”
He looks scared now. “Silla—”
“Oh God. You are.”
“Don’t do this. Let me come with you. Let me help.”
“Get away. Get away from me.” [YOU FOOL. YOU FOOL!]
“Please, wait—”
I turn and I run, and though I can hear him scrambling up and getting dressed, hear him calling my name, panic lacing his words, I can’t stay.
I run faster.
I am a fool.
I am a fool alone.
23
fool, alone
Alone you must be
to find your reprieve
bet you can’t wait
is it too late?
I run because I can’t do anything else. The trees fly past, flashes of the fading wallpaper of this accursed La Baume winking at me in between, but I grit my teeth and push on.
How could I have been so blind? How could I have missed it? Not to have seen his link to this… this, whatever it is.
Gowan is the Creeper Man. He tricked me. All this time, he was just watching me. Gauging my reactions—torturing me.
Nori, Nori, Nori. It is a chant to the beat of my heart and I don’t falter because Gowan could be behind me—the Creeper Man could be behind me. But then where is Nori? Where did he put Nori? [YOU ARE BIG SISTER.]
Her name floods my mind all at once. [YOU LET HER GO.] And I lose my footing and trip over crooked roots (or vines) and crash violently into the earth. Or is it a dusty hardwood floor? I don’t know.
I lie there for a moment, defeated.
I am fading away into a half sleep, washed over with despair and unbearable hunger when I hear a lilting tinkling through the trees like a ribbon of sound.
Nori’s bell.
“Good girl!” I whisper, scrambling to my feet. “Keep ringing it.…”
And I follow the eerie tinkling between the trees, letting my ears lead me.
I’m coming, Nori. I’m coming.
I hear Gowan’s cries echoing as they drift through the eerily still trees.
Ssssiiilllaaa.
Ssssiiilllaaaa!