He is so lazy.
I walk downstairs and notice the candles on the table. Oh god, my mom’s gone all out tonight because it’s my “last night.” She squeals excitedly when I sit down, and she presents me with a small package.
“Just a little going-away present,” she says smugly. “Thought you’d enjoy it during your time off.”
I smile and hug her tightly around the waist from where I’m sitting.
“Thank you,” I say, and I begin to open the package. My smile widens when I realize it’s a book.
Books are the best present ever.
“Mom!” I gasp. It’s a beautiful, hardcover edition of Pride and Prejudice, my favorite book. “How much did this cost?” I ask, flipping the leather-bound book over.
“Oh, it was nothing, dear.” She hugs me back and goes to sit down next to my father.
“Now you’ll have something to read,” he adds, smiling.
I don’t tell them about the twelve books I shoved into the outer pockets of the suitcase just a moment ago.
“Thank you,” I say. “This means a lot.” I clutch the book to my chest and get up to put it in my room. When I’m finished, I walk back downstairs, and my mom is serving my favorite meal: lasagna. I eye my mother lovingly.
“Thank you.” I hug her again before I sit down.
“Well, who knows when you’ll have another lasagna,” she jokes, referring to my cooking skills, or lack thereof. I’m a great baker, but cooking is not my forte.
“I’ve made lasagna before,” I say reproachfully. “It turned out okay…”
Elijah laughs. I glare at him. He clears his throat and makes it look like he’s coughing. I serve everyone else, and then I take a generous portion for myself. Mom’s lasagna is the best. I could eat the whole pan.
“Eat up,” she says, gesturing to my plate. “You’ve lost weight since your breakup, and you look like a twig,” she adds. “And I don’t mean that in a good way, either.”
Mothers.
“Twig is very in vogue,” I joke, sucking in my cheeks. “I’ll just eat paper for dinner,” I say, faking a French accent and posing ridiculously.
Elijah cackles, and my mother swats at my arm.
“I mean it. Eat,” she commands.
Sometimes I wonder if she’s really Italian and not Puerto Rican.
I devour my meal and ask for seconds, much to the pleasure of my mother. We chat for a while about my new job. I think about the next day, and how I have to be there early. Nick wants me there before he leaves on a trip.
Another trip.
I hug Elijah and my parents before heading upstairs to finish packing. I feel like I’m leaving for college again—like I’m on the precipice of something big. I can’t deny the nervous butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. After all, I will be responsible for another human being, something I’ve never really done for anyone other than Elijah. It’s scary and daunting, but I know that I’m capable.
I change into my pajamas and finish packing what’s left of my personal belongings. I charge my phone and go to brush my teeth. Once I’m done getting ready, and I can rest assured that all of my belongings are packed up, I climb into my bed and turn the lights off.
These last three months were tough—I can’t deny that. If nothing else, I’m craving a fresh start. A new job, a new place to live… a clean break. I feel like half the person I used to be—I imagine a turtle with half a shell. The other half is somewhere else, reserved for the one person who hurt me the most—Dan. Maybe I’ll never heal. Maybe I’ll never get the other half of the shell back. But I have to try. And though tomorrow feels significant for various reasons, the biggest thing I can hope for is to be happy again.
Everyone deserves to be happy.