Only ever looking at Lada.
Bitterness so heavy he could taste it welled within Radu, and he turned to leave. But as he did, he caught a glimpse of Lada. Instead of seeing the girl Mehmed had chosen, instead of seeing the girl who had failed him time and again by never being what he needed her to be, he saw the same expression she wore that day so long ago when she crawled out on the ice to rescue him. At the time, he had thought it was anger. He saw now that it was terror, and defiance in the face of her own all-consuming fear.
He hung his head. She had ventured onto the ice for him to spite death. And he knew she would do it again without hesitation.
“How could I have forgotten about you?” Murad asked Lada. His voice balanced on a sword’s edge between venom and amusement.
Radu stepped forward, breaking free of Lazar’s grip, with a laugh as though this were all an amusing game between friends. It was just in time, as everyone looked at him and missed the snarl that deformed Lada’s face and betrayed her increasingly murderous anger.
With a flourish, Radu bowed deeply. “My Sultan, jewel of Anatolia, vessel of power, chosen and most beloved of God, it is an honor! I can assure you that we have never once forgotten about you.” He straightened, a benevolent smile lighting his face. “Indeed, if it is not impertinent, I have adopted the Janissary tradition and think of you as Father. For years I have wanted this opportunity to thank you.”
Murad’s eyebrows lifted beneath his turban. “Thank me?”
“For saving us. For educating us, bringing us out of the dark, and, most important, for bringing us to God.”
“What are you talking about?” Halil Pasha snapped.
“My sister and I converted to Islam years ago. It has been the greatest source of light and joy in my life, and I would have been left in the darkness without the generosity of our father, the sultan. I speak for both of us, of course.”
Lada’s face turned a deep, angry red. Radu smiled at her, twitching his eyes narrower for a split second. If she messed this up, they would both die.
Murad turned to Lada, and for a breathlessly terrifying second she did nothing. Then, every muscle strained, she bowed her head in acknowledgment.
“But what of their father?” Halil Pasha’s voice sounded like that of a child stamping its feet in rage.
Radu grinned. “You have not communicated with him since his betrayal three years ago?”
Murad shook his head, expression still wary.
This time, Radu let his laugh ring through the room, showering his delight on everyone listening. “Then he will have assumed us dead this whole time! What a just punishment for the slithering infidel. I hope every day has been agony and every night a torment! Will you tell him now that we are alive, happy and settled in our home? Imagine how his heart will swell. And then you could inform him of our conversion, cutting his joyful heart right out.” Radu clapped his hands together gleefully. “I am sorry. I overstep. Of course it is up to Your Magnificence to decide how to deal with that man. I am simply so grateful to finally have an opportunity to thank you myself for all you have given us. Your grace and benevolence have shaped my entire life.” He bowed again, even deeper, then looked up reverently.
Murad was smiling. And Mehmed looked relieved and grateful as he met Radu’s eye. Radu dared not look at Lada and draw anyone’s attention back to her. He needed them to focus on him, on his grand performance.
But it was an easy one to act. Because, while he hated Murad, he did consider this home. And he had converted, with Molla Gurani as his witness. Islam had given him a home, given him a place to belong, given him peace when nothing else had.
Well, almost nothing else. He looked away from Mehmed. He still had God.
Murad’s smile was thoughtful, not cruel. “I will not forget you again.”
“It is the deepest honor imaginable to be remembered by you.” Radu bowed yet again as Murad walked past him. Murad placed a hand on top of his head, then exited the room. Radu straightened, meeting Halil Pasha’s calculating gaze.
“It would appear,” Halil Pasha said, so quietly only Radu could hear, “that the sultan has entirely forgotten the matter of your sister murdering a guest at the party.”
Radu smiled knowingly, as though he and Halil Pasha shared the same concerns. He knew only a few things about Halil Pasha, and he would bring them all into play. “Perhaps it is for the best that no one looks closely into what happened.”
The other man’s voice grew wary. “What do you mean?”