On the other hand, she argued with herself, going to the charity ball was not without purpose. She could get Julian Coffey alone and talk to him there, something that was obviously difficult to do while she was staying at Broughton House.
With a sigh, she sank down into the chair beside her bed. The fact was, she knew, she could bring this whole problem to a close quickly. She might not even have to talk to Julian Coffey again or remain as the Morelands’ tutor if she could put her hands on the pendant that Barchester has seen Theo holding after Dennis’s death. And she knew where she was most likely to find that pendant—in Theo’s bedchamber.
She was holding back only out of fear. Not just fear of getting caught. Megan felt that, of course, for there was absolutely no reason for her to be in Theo’s bedchamber, and if someone walked in on her there, it would probably lead to her immediate dismissal.
But more than that, she knew, she was afraid of finding the pendant, for it would be more evident that Theo had killed her brother. No matter how sure she was in her head that Theo had been responsible for her brother’s death, something in her heart stubbornly refused to accept it. Even today, when she had seen the look on his face as he stared at the exhibit, she had struggled against the obvious interpretation of his moody gaze. She had wished for some other explanation for the crisp, almost unfriendly way he spoke to Julian Coffey, or the way he turned aside questions about the trip he had made, or his knowledge of South America. Could it not be that he was simply remembering the sorrow of her brother’s death? she urged in her inner dialogue.
Still, she knew she had to look for the pendant. She could not simply go on not knowing the truth. She had to sneak into Theo’s room and search it thoroughly. And the sooner she did it, the better. She needed to bring this to a close before her tangled emotions got even more confused.
But when? Megan rose and began to pace again, chewing at her lower lip in thought.
There were always servants about, and she had no idea when Theo might be in his room—or when some other member of the family might be coming out of one of the other rooms and would see her slip into Theo’s. She could try, of course, late at night, when the servants and family were in bed, but then she would have to wait until some night when she knew that Theo was out. Even then, she would have no idea when he might return, and she couldn’t have him walking in on her.
Of course, there was one time when the servants were all downstairs in the servants’ area and the family was also away from their rooms—the evening meal.
If they were home, every member of the family was there, which was not the case with luncheon or breakfast or high tea. There would be no one to see her enter Theo’s room. And as the meal took some time, with all its courses and the Morelands’ lively conversation, she would have a good thirty minutes or so in which it would be safe to search.
Of course, she would be expected to be at the meal, as well, but surely she could take care of that problem by pleading illness. She could get a tray from the kitchen or even go without food, if she had to.
The more she thought about it, the more the idea grew on Megan. It would be the perfect opportunity, and she could seize it tomorrow night. There would be no waiting around to learn when Theo was going to be out in the evening. She could do it and get it over with. And if she could find the pendant, then the whole thing would be over with quickly. She would not have to stay with the Morelands, growing fonder of them every day. She would not have to wrestle any longer with her wayward feelings for Theo.
It would be done with.
And though the idea put ice in her stomach, she was certain it was what she must do.
Megan went through the twins’ lessons distractedly the next day, the search she planned preying on her mind. Her frequent frowns and distracted air caused Alex to inquire if she was feeling quite all right.
Seizing on the opening his remark offered, Megan admitted that she had a headache and planned to lie down with a lavender compress on her forehead after the end of the day’s studies.
When she sent Alex and Con off for their science lesson with Thisbe, Megan went to her bedroom, closed the curtains and did as she had told the boys she would, lying down in her bed with a lavender-sprinkled warm cloth on her head. Later, when one of the maids came in to see if she needed help with her buttons as she dressed for dinner, she raised her head from the pillow and offered the girl a wan smile.
“I am afraid I won’t be able to come down for dinner, Millie,” she told her, hoping that the nerves dancing in her stomach made her look ill.
“I’m sorry, miss,” the maid said sympathetically. “Is it the headache? Cook brews up a good tincture. Take it and go to sleep, and you’ll feel right as rain tomorrow.”
“That would be very nice,” Megan responded. If she was lucky, she would not have to drink it in front of the girl. She sat up slowly. “Would you take a note down to the duchess for me, saying I won’t be there?”
“Of course, miss. Would you like for me to bring you a tray of food?”
“That would be very sweet of you,” Megan told her. “I’m not sure how much I can eat, but perhaps later…”
She penned a brief note excusing herself from dinner and gave it to Millie to carry to the duchess. Then she lay back down to wait for the sounds of the rest of the family going downstairs.
Millie brought her back a tray of cold cuts, bread and fruit, and laid it on the dresser for Megan to eat later. She also left a small brown bottle with instructions for mixing it with water and drinking it.
Megan assured her she would, and after the girl left, she poured a bit of the brown noxious-looking mixture in a glass, then tossed the contents out the window. She nibbled at the food as she listened to the footsteps outside her room.
Finally the corridor fell silent. Going to her door, Megan leaned her ear against it, listening, then eased open the door and peered out. The hallway was empty. After a glance in either direction, she tiptoed out of the room and moved quietly down the hall and around the corner. The door to Theo’s room stood ajar, and she carefully peeked inside.
There was no one, so with another quick glance around at the empty corridor, Megan stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind her. If by chance some servant or other family member did come down the hallway, it would not do for them to see her moving about inside the room.