“Nothing,” I sputtered. “I mean, I don’t know. It just came out.”
The panic I felt must have shown on my face because he turned his body toward mine. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a silly saying.”
“What is it?”
“Cross my heart; hope to die,” he repeated. “We used to say that stuff when we were kids.”
“We?” I asked, my heart stalling.
“Me and my friends,” he explained. “Everyone at school really.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling a little crestfallen.
He smiled. “Whenever we’d say something that was like, you know, sacred, we’d say cross my heart; hope to die; stick a needle in my eye.”
I laughed at the last part. “That’s serious business.”
“Yeah,” he said, relaxing his side into the back of the seat. His eyes caressed my face, and it made me tingle, made me long to have his fingers touch me the way his stare did.
Eddie tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t,” I answered.
An ornery look glinted on his face, his lips curving up sardonically. “I guess I did want you to have to hold on.” He winked.
I was charmed.
“Next time, just ask,” I whispered, reaching for his hand.
The look fell from his face, pure desire smoothing out his features. Inside the cab, the air around us changed, became alive.
Eddie stared down to where our hands were linked and resting on the seat between us. He was silent for a while, and I was content. Who needed words when the atmosphere was buzzing?
When his low voice cut through the energy, my blood spiked. “I want to kiss you,”
“No one’s ever kissed me before,” I whispered.
His head jerked up, his fingers tightening around mine.
“You’d be my first.” Oh, wow, my stomach was flopping around and making me feel totally unbalanced. I didn’t know what possessed me to say that, to basically entice him to put his lips on mine. I didn’t even know how to kiss, but oh man, I really wanted to.
“First kisses shouldn’t be had in the middle of the street, inside a running truck,” he murmured, stroking the side of my face with his free hand.
“Seems like the where shouldn’t matter as long as the who is right.”
He made a groaning sound, sliding closer, so close our knees bumped. “Well then,” he mumbled, leaning close, tilting his head sideways as if he were lining up our lips. “This must be the absolute perfect place.”
My lids flickered as the distance between us closed.
He kissed a whole lot better than he drove. Eddie’s lips smoothed over mine expertly, almost as if he glided against air. I felt the brush all the way to my core. Heat surged inside me like lava bubbling from a volcano.
He moved slowly, methodically, with just enough pressure I couldn’t move away. Not that I wanted to. I was so ensnared by him, totally engrossed in every move he made. It was amazing to touch him like this, to be connected to someone in such a physical way. Our lips lapped at each other, melting together until I practically hummed.
He smiled against my mouth, pulled back slightly, tilted his head, and kissed me from a completely new angle. My hand went to his knee while his wrapped around my waist, tugging me just a little closer.
I kissed him back, following his lead, letting my emotions guide me. The soft slip of his tongue made me pause, but I didn’t pull away. Eddie licked me again, and my lips parted. Tentatively, his tongue slipped inside just a little, and I allowed my own to do the same. Eddie groaned on first contact and then slid his fingers into my hair.
His tongue slipped all the way into my mouth, coaxing mine to play.
Oh my.
I couldn’t breathe, but air wasn’t even important. I couldn’t think, but words didn’t compare. Not even memories mattered because this moment eclipsed them all.
Easing back, Eddie withdrew from my mouth slowly. With one last brush of his lips against mine, his head lifted. Dazed, I watched him swipe at his lower lip with his thumb. Then he reached out and did the same to mine.
“What do you think, Am?” His voice was thick. “Still a perfect place for a first kiss?”
I sucked my lower lip into my mouth, then released it. I couldn’t speak so I just nodded.
A car pulled around the truck and continued on down the street. Eddie chuckled, lifted my hand, kissed the back of it, then went back to driving.
How could he drive after that? Wasn’t he completely woozy inside? I could barely see straight, let alone steer a car. But he did it expertly, so well, in fact, I was convinced he really had just been driving crazy so I would stick close against his side.
After that kiss, though, he wouldn’t even have to try. There was nowhere else I’d rather be.
Just breathe and drive.
I repeated the mantra over and over in my head. I had to say it constantly, because if I didn’t, I would forget. I’d probably run my truck right off the road and land in a ditch.
Her first kiss. Not really, but really. It wasn’t the lake that was a siren. It was her. Something in Amnesia beckoned me like nothing else. I couldn’t explain. Fuck, I barely understood it. Yet I sure as hell felt it.
I’d wanted to do that so long. So fucking long.
And now I wanted to do it again.
I saw my future spelled out for me now, plain as day. I would live between our kisses and die every time her lips met mine. Death and resuscitation all at once, that was Amnesia, the girl who forgot everything, a girl I would always know by heart.
When Maggie’s house came into view, I wished I’d driven a hell of a lot slower. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet, but really, I probably never would be. Amnesia brought out an intense greediness in me. I didn’t want to share her. Not with anyone.
Obviously, I knew that was impossible and also sort of creepy. If you held on too tight to a butterfly, you crushed its wings.
I pulled straight into the driveway, parking directly in front of the garage door. I figured Maggie was probably already home and parked inside so it didn’t matter if I blocked it.
“This is Maggie’s place?” Amnesia asked, gazing out the window.
Well, shit. Guess I should have been less consumed with her on the way over here and given her a mini tour of the neighborhood. That made me a shitty guide.
But an excellent kisser.
“Yep, this is it. It’s one of the nicest streets in Lake Loch.” I looked at the two-story white home through the windshield. It was pretty traditional with black shutters, a black front door with a gold knocker, and planter beds full of colorful mums along the front. “She’s lived here since I was a kid.”
“With Elmo?” Am asked, glancing at me.
I smiled. “Yeah, her dog. He’s a little fluff ball. Her husband used to live here with her, but he passed a few years ago. Sudden heart attack.”
“Oh no. That’s terrible.”
“It was unexpected. It was hard. Maggie’s had a lot of loss in her life.”
“Maybe that’s why she’s been so kind to me,” Am murmured. “She’s very compassionate.”
“Maybe,” I echoed, a lump in my throat.