The doorman from the night before, whose name tag read Ralph, noticed the distraught look on my face and asked if I needed assistance. When I tearfully explained my predicament, he kindly offered to let me use the desk phone while handing me a box of tissues. I couldn’t help but suspect finding crying women in his lobby must be nothing new.
I called Brenda to ask her to pick me up and she quickly agreed. I thanked Ralph and found a seat near the windows that faced the street. As I waited for her, my breath stuttered every time a binging sound emerged from the elevators. I kept wondering if the person behind the closed doors was Kean coming to beg for my forgiveness.
It was a complete waste of energy. Not once was it him behind those doors. Had I known he was never going to make an attempt I would have saved that energy for the reconstruction of my fragmented soul.
Chapter Sixteen
Kean
“Kean!” Thad barked, storming into the apartment. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”
I had been reading the daily news on my tablet. I set it down on the sofa cushion next to me.
“Not that I know of,” I bit back, staring hard at him. I was not up to a discussion after the situation this afternoon.
As soon as Ciaran had rushed out the door, I’d cleaned up the food and shards of broken plate from the floor before calling down to the front desk to check if she was still in the building. Ralph informed me he had assisted her into a car driven by a female friend. I thanked him and hung up.
I should have gone after her but I was an asshole who was enraged she had brought up the subject of my father after I had already made it known he was completely off limits. It amazed me how the man had been dead for years yet still managed to fuck things up from beyond the grave.
“You’re a little old to play dumb. You know damn well I’m talking about you showing up here with the girl.”
I shot Thad a warning look. “I’m also too old to have to answer to you about who I fuck.”
“Don’t give me that shit. I’m only trying to look out for you. Fucking a journalist who knows Whitman and has been questioning your past because she wants to write a story on you is a brilliant move,” he said sarcastically.
“I know!” I yelled, jumping to my feet. “I didn’t plan on sleeping with her or telling her half the shit I did. You think I wanted to admit Duarte was my father?”
Thad braced his hands on the marble countertop, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge. “You admitted that ass wipe was your father?”
I wrapped a hand on the back of my neck as I glowered. This was a fucking mess.
Duarte had always been a sore subject but the second Ciaran had brought him up, I once again responded out of anger.
The night before, I had surprisingly spotted Ciaran at the bar with a large group of people laughing at something a tall brunette was saying. I tried to look away but I couldn’t.
She looked at ease, more at ease than I had ever seen her.
I had been sucked in, recalling what she tasted like, when that fucker Whitman approached. I swear I almost left the table of doctors I was meeting with to walk over and knock the shit out of him for touching her.
I watched as Whitman took a call and left the room. When Ciaran went after him I excused myself from the table and followed. From a distance I could see her flirting. I had a hard time trying to level off the anger mixed with jealousy that seized my every thought.
She had lied to me. Again.
And like a sucker I had begun to believe she was just an innocent bystander in the entire ordeal. But there she was with Whitman looking much more like a couple than she had said they were.
And then he kissed her.
I was just about to say fuck it and leave when she pulled away.
As soon as Whitman walked off, I found myself in front of her. I didn’t know what it was about the woman that made me want to punish that body for every dishonest word that left those lips. I wanted to punish it for making me want her even though I knew she had no business in my life. When she opened her mouth and mocked my jealousy with those molten caramel eyes I couldn’t fight the need to possess her any longer.
“Is she going to write about it?” Thad asked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I may have fucked it up.”
“What did you do?”
“I lost my shit when she returned to the topic of Duarte. She ran out of here upset. I should have gone after her but my own head is so fucked up I didn’t.” Admitting to Thad of all people that I behaved like an ass was not an easy thing to do.
Thad frowned but stayed silent.
“Did you find anything else out?” I asked, eager to change the subject.
“No, but you did receive another threat. I intercepted it at the front desk. It said your time is almost up. Not very original but effective all the same. I had security view the footage but it was delivered by the regular mailman.”
“I honestly don’t think it’s Ciaran,” I said, surprising myself. Thad raised his eyebrows as he looked at me. “If you look close enough you can tell what she is thinking. She tries to disguise her reactions for her own sake. Sometimes I get the impression she is afraid to let people in but she is not the type to hurt anyone.”
“You really like this girl,” Thad stated as he walked into the kitchen.
I followed behind him.
I did like her. I liked her more than I knew I should. The pull I felt towards her wasn’t normal for me. It left me open, stripped raw. I think that’s why she worked her way under my skin so easily.
When I had gotten her in my bedroom, I reminded myself she was just a casual fuck, just like all the others but when I returned from the bathroom and found her asleep with her long hair fanned out on my pillow, I felt something much more than casual. I couldn’t help but wonder how long I would be able to keep her before I fucked it all up. Turned out it wasn’t very long.
“I told her I wasn’t looking for a commitment.”
“And how did that work for you?”
“She acted like she was fine with it, at first. But it didn’t feel honest. I had planned to bring it up again except she asked about Duarte and everything imploded.”
“Kean, you should use this situation to your advantage. I already told you it’s safer if you stay away from her.”
I wasn’t surprised Thad was warning me away from Ciaran. His ex had really screwed him up. I ran a hand through my hair. “After the way she left, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“Look, man, I’m not saying you can’t date. All I’m asking is for you not to date a woman who can expose you to the world and ruin your life. You have a huge selection within arm’s reach. Just pick someone safe.”
It was easier said than done. It was the one who had the power to destroy me that I wanted.
Chapter Seventeen
Ciaran
I called out from work for two days and went into hiding.
I hid from my boss who was expecting my overdue rough draft that I was procrastinating to finish. I hid from Stuart who had left fifteen voicemails I hadn’t bothered to play. I hid from Brenda who had picked me up and peppered me with questions wanting to know who lived in the glass apartment building. And I hid from Melany, whose normal drama was the last thing I wanted to handle.
I even hid from myself because the weak female who was hurt over a man disappointed me in spades.
I would have loved to include Kean in the mix but his lack of attempted contact was nothing but a brutal slap of reality.
After two days of hiding I finally summoned enough courage to roll my butt off the couch and fling myself back into the adult world.
I decided to go for a run. Running had healing powers and following the weekend I had just experienced, I was in great need of some internal healing. Throwing on purple nylon running shorts with a white tank top over a black sports bra I tied on my running shoes and trekked two blocks to the park nearby.