“I’m getting out our dinner,” I say. “I admit, I’m not sure what this is. Scott ordered, but it smells good. What do you think?”
“I think you are not going to trick me into dating you,” she says.
“Who said anything about a trick?” I ask. “This isn’t a date. This is two colleagues sharing a meal together, which we agreed is acceptable.” I push one of the boxes toward her and hold out a plastic fork.
She takes it and scoots the box to her side of the desk. “You’re pushing it, Ronan.”
“I’d like to push all this shit off the desk and lay you down on top of it,” I say.
“We said no more flirting,” she says, pointing the fork at me.
“We said no more flirting in front of your coworkers,” I say. “We’re alone.”
She rolls her eyes. “A technicality. Besides, who flirts like that? You have no appreciation for subtlety.”
“I understand subtlety very well. I’m just choosing not to use it,” I say. “Tell me how I should flirt with you.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“That’s not fair,” I say. “You won’t go out with me. The least you can do is let me tease you a little.”
“Is that what this is?” she asks. “Teasing?”
“This is whatever you want it to be, Selene,” I say. “You’re in the driver’s seat. What do you think about that?”
“I think that I’m in a relationship with someone else, and you’re my boss.”
“You haven’t broken up with Aaron yet?” I ask.
“Aidan.”
“Whatever.”
She takes a bite, and I wonder if she’s avoiding my question. “No. As a matter of fact, I’m seeing him tomorrow.”
“I hope you have a good time.”
“No, you don’t,” she says.
I shrug. “Why not? I have no problem with you having a pleasant evening.”
“He’s cooking me dinner at his place.” She meets my eyes and there’s a distinct note of challenge in her voice.
The thought of her being in that guy’s house pisses me the hell off, but that fire in her eyes is such a turn on. It’s making me hard as fuck. “You’re threatening me,” I say.
“How is that a threat?”
“You want to make me jealous. So you’re dangling the possibility that you’ll be sleeping with someone other than me tomorrow night.”
“I do not want to make you jealous,” she says. “That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s only ridiculous because you’re still lying to yourself.”
She puts down her fork. “And what lie is that?”
“That you don’t want me as much as I want you.”
“Did you bring me in here to push boundaries, or do we have a legitimate reason to be having dinner together in your office?”
“Both.”
She shakes her head, but she doesn’t get up.
Dinner is good. I grab us a couple bottled waters from my mini-fridge and steer the conversation back to work topics. Selene relaxes, and we discuss some of the issues the sales team has been having. She has a lot of good ideas, and I’m impressed with how much she knows about the other departments.
We talk for a long time after we finish eating. I’m not sure what time it is, but I don’t want to call attention to the fact that it’s late by checking. Selene vents about how difficult it was to work with Brad over the last year, and I talk about my decision making process in buying VI. She asks a lot of questions, and I can tell she’s trying to figure me out—understand my motivations.
Her passion for her work shows. It’s clear to me that Brad was underutilizing her talents. She knows this business intimately, and she cares about what she’s doing. That’s a rare thing in an employee.
As much as I want to fuck Selene until she screams my name, I also know I’m walking a very fine line with her. She’s not just a random piece of ass. She’s so much more, and as I talk to her I feel a twinge of something I haven’t felt in many years: Fear. It’s such an unfamiliar sensation, but the novelty makes it intriguing. I’ve jumped out of airplanes hundreds of times and never once have I been afraid. It isn’t that I don’t understand the risks. It’s that risks don’t scare me. If it’s my time to go, there’s nothing I can do to stop it, so I might as well live hard while I’m here. I realize I’m not normal in that respect—and I wasn’t always this way—but I have my reasons.
Why do I feel this foreign emotion when I look at this woman? What is it about her that scares me? I’m insanely attracted to her—more than I’ve felt for anyone in a very long time. Is that all it is? The fact that I’m willing to swear off other women just so I’m available for her, and so she stays available to me?
I’m not sure. I’m putting on a good front, like I have her all figured out, but the truth is, she’s bringing something out in me I thought I buried a long time ago. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Selene picks up her phone and her eyebrows lift. “It’s after eight.”