Okay, the not focused on reality part is kind of me all the time. But when I was writing this book, it was really bad.
Braxton and Kylie became so real to me. That generally happens with my characters—the heroes and heroines from my Jetty Beach series feel very real. But Brax and Ky took that up a notch. I’m not sure why. I FELT them, deep in my bones, in my soul.
That’s made releasing this book to the public a strangely emotional experience. Writing romance is an exercise in opening yourself up—in feeling things very deeply and sharing those things in the form of a story. And this book made me FEEL. I hope it came across on the page, and I suppose the reality is, some people will feel it the way I did, and others won’t. That’s just how it goes. But for those who felt it—who laughed and cried along with Brax and Ky—know that I felt it too. Every bit of this story, every emotion, was real and raw and beautiful for me.
So where did it come from?
I had this idea about a trio—a brother and sister, and their best friend. What if (my ideas usually start with what if questions) the brother was in love with the best friend. And what if he’d loved her ever since he could remember, and he was kind of tortured by being just friends. And, what if he was devastatingly hot and had no trouble getting women, leading to his (well-deserved at this point) reputation as a player. But the only woman he really wanted was RIGHT THERE, and he couldn’t have her. Oh yes, I like him already.
I wanted to write about a man who’s kind of a bad boy—obviously not the dark, dangerous bad boy (there are lots of amazing authors who write that kind of hero far better than I could). But a bad boy who’s a player. Hot, fun, confident—but he’s not the guy you can date and think he’s going to stick around. What made him interesting to me was why. Why would he be like that? I wanted it to be much deeper than “he can get away with it, so he does.” Sure, he’s gorgeous and likes to be naughty. But men can be gorgeous and naughty without leaving a long string of broken hearts in their wake.
But the things in his life that made him who he is when the story begins fit perfectly with the story I was envisioning. It’s all about Kylie. He’s never loved anyone else, and no one else will ever compare. But hell, he’s a guy, and from a young age he had girls falling all over him. So he’d try one out—take her out, sleep with her, whatever. She wasn’t Kylie. So he’d move on. After that kept happening, people in his life saw him a certain way. Oh sure, that’s just Braxton. He’s such a player. He loves hot women, but nothing lasts.
He lives that way for a long time, wearing the mask. Being the guy he thinks “his girls” need him to be. The man underneath was who really got to me as I was writing Braxton. He is fun and a little cocky. But he was also deeply wounded when his parents died, and he’s spent his entire life hiding that part of himself. He shows his true self to Kylie in bits and pieces—tiny glimpses she’s not sure how to interpret. There’s a depth to him that she doesn’t expect, and it disarms her every time. He wants to let her in so badly, and we see him try a little here and there.
Kylie’s loved Braxton for as long as he’s loved her, but she keeps that buried deep inside, not even acknowledging it to herself. It feels too dangerous to her, and who can blame her? She’s seen him go through a lot of women, and she assumes that’s just how he is.
In a lot of ways, Brax and Ky are already halfway to being a couple at the beginning of the book. They know all those little things about each other that couples would know. They have a comfort level with each other that is the result of years of friendship, and it skirts the very edge of something more. Ordering for each other at restaurants. Sharing food off each other’s plates. Passing a cup of coffee back and forth without even thinking about it. I added moments like that very much on purpose. The characters don’t think much of it, so as a reader, it might not have stuck out. Kylie doesn’t protest when Braxton takes her coffee out of her hand and drinks it, for example. He hands it back and she drinks some, because it’s something they would do all the time. Tiny moments like that were designed to show that they’re so comfortable with each other, they do things that usually only romantic couples will do.
No wonder their dates never feel comfortable with their friendship…