She realized now that the coffee was a set-up.
It was two in the morning, and Elena was going to wet her pants. She looked up the line. Troy was wrapped in sleeping bags and a polar fleece, like a mummy. Gabe had pulled his knees up and tucked his head down a few hours ago.
Elena had been sleeping. Badly. She felt groggy and out of sorts and her bladder actually hurt. She kept fidgeting. Gabe lifted his head. ‘What’s wrong? Are you cold?’
‘No,’ Elena said. ‘I mean, yes, of course. But no—I’m going to wet my pants.’
‘Don’t do that,’ Gabe said.
‘I can’t help it. What am I supposed to do?’
‘Go pee somewhere.’
‘Where?’
‘I don’t know. Behind a car or something.’
‘That’s illegal!’ Elena said. ‘And gross!’
‘Not as gross as peeing your pants.’
Elena closed her eyes. ‘Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Where have you guys been peeing?’
‘Inside the theater,’ he said.
‘Don’t you ever have to go at night?’
He shrugged. ‘No.’
Elena felt tears rolling down her cheeks.
‘Don’t cry,’ Gabe said. ‘That won’t help.’
She kept crying. It was going to happen soon.
‘OK,’ he said, standing up. ‘Come on.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘To let you pee.’
‘We can’t leave without telling Troy,’ she said. ‘Code of the Line.’
‘The Code of the Line also includes not soiling it. Come on.’
Troy had an extra-large Coke cup, and Gabe grabbed it. Elena got up, carefully, and followed him around to the back of the theater.
‘OK,’ he said, holding out the cup. ‘You go behind the dumpster, pee in this cup, then put it in the dumpster.’
‘What if there are cameras?’ Elena said, taking the cup.
‘I can’t help you there. This isn’t Mission: Impossible, you know?’
‘But what if I need to pee more than this? I don’t know how much I pee.’
‘If your bladder held more than forty-four ounces, you wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom constantly.’
She stood there, biting her lip.
‘Elena.’
‘Yeah?’
‘You don’t have any other options here. Pee in the cup.’
‘Right,’ she said. She walked, carefully, to the other side of the dumpster. ‘I don’t want you to listen!’
‘Is this the first time you’ve peed around another human being?’
‘Around a guy,’ she shouted, ‘yes!’
‘I didn’t ask for this!’ Gabe shouted back. He started humming loudly—’The Imperial March’. It made Elena feel like her mom was coming.
She carefully peeled down her layers and hovered over the cup, trying not to touch it, and trying not to splash, still sort of crying. Gabe kept up the loud humming. When Elena was done, she put the lid on the cup and walked out. ‘OK,’ she said.
‘Gross. You were supposed to throw it away.’
‘I’m going to pour it down a storm drain! So it doesn’t spill on anyone.’
‘Whatever,’ Gabe said.
When she’d disposed of the pee, and the cup, she sat back down next to him and dug in her bag for a wet wipe.
‘I should just go home,’ she said, scrubbing her hands.
‘Do you have to pee again?’
‘No.’
‘Then why do you want to go home?’
‘Well, obviously I’m not prepared for this!’ She waved her arm around, encompassing the cold, the line, the trash can, the storm drain . . . ‘And it isn’t how I thought it was going to be.’
‘How’d you think it was going to be?’ Gabe asked.
‘I don’t know—fun.’
‘You’re camping on a sidewalk with strangers. Why would that be fun?’
‘It always looks fun. In the pictures. Like, tent cities. And people meeting in line and making friends for life. Getting matching tattoos.’
‘You want to get a matching tattoo with Troy?’
‘You know what I mean.’ She threw her wadded-up wet wipe on to the ground. ‘I thought it was going to be a celebration, like a way to be really excited about Star Wars with a bunch of other people who are really excited about Star Wars. Like in Troy’s stories. Like the time they all camped out for two weeks to see Return of the Jedi and ended up with soulmates and nicknames. The practical jokes that went on for days! The lightsaber battles!’
‘You could still end up with a nickname,’ Gabe said. ‘Right now I’m thinking something to do with pee. Or cups.’
Elena wrapped her sleeping bag tighter.
‘Good Old Pees-in-a-Cup,’ Gabe said.
‘Why are you here?’ she asked. ‘If you knew it was going to be miserable.’
‘I’m here because I love Star Wars,’ he said. ‘Same as you.’ He folded his arms on his knees and tucked his head down.
‘But you don’t even talk to me,’ Elena said. ‘To either of us.’
Gabe made a sarcastic noise, like hrmph.
‘No, seriously,’ she said. ‘What’s the point of getting in this line if you don’t want to experience it with other people?’
‘Maybe I just don’t want to experience it with you,’ he said. ‘Have you thought of that?’
‘Oh my God.’ She scrunched up her face. ‘No. I haven’t thought of that. Is that true? Why are you so mean?’
‘It’s not true,’ he grumbled, lifting his head. ‘I’m just tired. And I’m not—a people person. Sorry I’m not meeting your Star Wars dream line expectations.’
‘Me, too.’ She rubbed her hands together and blew in them.
‘Why didn’t your friends wait in line with you?’ Gabe said. ‘Then you could have had your party line.’
‘None of my friends likes Star Wars.’
‘Everybody likes Star Wars,’ he said. ‘Everybody likes everything these days. The whole world is a nerd.’
‘Are you mad because other people like Star Wars? Are you mad because people like me like Star Wars?’
Gabe glowered at her. ‘Maybe.’
‘Well,‘ she said, ‘my friends do like Star Wars. They’re going to see it this weekend. But they don’t like it like I do. They don’t get a stomach ache about it.’
‘Why does Star Wars give you a stomach ache?’
‘I don’t know. I just care about it so much.’
‘I wasn’t trying to call you a fake geek girl,’ Gabe said.
‘I didn’t say that you were.’
‘I mean, you obviously know the original trilogy inside out. And that’s not even important, but you obviously do.’
‘I’ve yet to determine whether you’re a fake geek boy,’ she said, pulling her sleeves down over her hands.
He laughed, and she was ninety per cent sure it wasn’t sarcastic.
‘Here’s what bothers me,’ he said, glowering slightly less, but still looking frustrated. ‘I’m a nerd, right? Like obviously. Classic nerd. I hate sports. I know every Weird Al song by heart. I don’t know how to talk to most people. I’m probably going to get a job in computer science. Like, I know those are all stereotypes, but they’re also true of me. That’s who I am. And the thing about nerd culture being mainstream culture now means that there’s no place to just be a nerd among other nerds—without being reminded that you’re the nerd. Do you follow me?’