“I didn’t know I was going,” he said.
“Shit, yeah. I told you, buy out Old Man Cutcheon and you’ll have a long line of guys wanting you to work on their bikes. You and me can do some other business that way, too. You don’t want that?”
“No, yeah, I do. I just didn’t know you wanted me to go to Myrtle Beach.”
“You got other obligations?” Liam said.
Me. Kellen didn’t say it and I let him go, so he would stop frowning. I didn’t want him to be sad. I cut my carrots into neat little circles, like pennies.
“No, that’s great. Just wish you’d said something sooner.”
“Goddamnit, Vonnie! Eat your food and stop moving it around on your plate.”
Liam smacked his hand on the table next to my plate. He had the power to steal Kellen away, but he didn’t have power over me. I laid my fork on the table, but as soon as I let go of it, Liam snatched it up.
“Don’t you defy me, you little bitch.” He shoveled up a scoop of potatoes.
My mouth watered at the smell. I wanted to eat, but I wouldn’t do it like that. Liam pressed the fork up to my mouth, so I turned my head away from him, felt the potatoes smear across my cheek. I looked at Kellen, the way his eyes went up and down, from his plate to Liam and back to his plate. He was scared.
Liam grabbed my chin, that’s how mad he was. Mad enough to break Mama’s rule against touching me. He jerked my head around, to keep me from looking at Kellen, so I closed my eyes. I bit my lips closed to keep the potatoes out, but Liam wouldn’t quit.
“You’ll fucking do what I say!” The fork stabbed my lip and knocked against my teeth. Liam squeezed my face hard, trying to make me open my mouth. And I was going to. I wasn’t strong enough.
Then Liam let go of me.
The fork fell on my plate, a loud clatter in the middle of glasses falling over. I opened my eyes and saw Kellen standing up, leaning across the table. He had one hand pressed to the center of Liam’s chest to push him back into his chair. That was all he needed to stop Liam, who looked small under Kellen’s hand.
“Don’t do that,” Kellen said.
As soon as he let go, Liam sat up. All his smallness drained out and anger rushed in again.
“Are you telling me how to discipline my own kid in my house?” Liam said, but his shirt was still rumpled from Kellen’s hand.
“No, but you don’t need to do her that way.”
Kellen sat down and smoothed the tablecloth back out.
“I’ll be damned if I take orders from you, you fat fucking slob,” Liam said.
“You want your kid to end up a fat fucking slob like me? Just go on doing that, forcing her to eat. It’s what my pa did. Made me clean my plate whether I wanted to or not. Busted my jaw once. So, you know, think about that.”
Liam laughed. He lost the fight, but everyone would have to pretend he hadn’t. Mama knew how to pretend that.
“Well, damn, you’re sensitive, Kellen. I’m gonna be more careful around you. I don’t wanna hurt your little feelings and shit.”
Kellen took another bite of meatloaf. It looked like it was hard for him to swallow, but he kept eating.
I watched him chew, wishing I could eat. Something sticky and warm dribbled down my chin. Blood. Mama watched, too soft to do anything. Kellen passed me his handkerchief under the table. When I took it, I felt how strong his hand was. I didn’t understand how he could be afraid of Liam, when he was so much bigger.
Kellen’s handkerchief was worn soft from being washed, and I didn’t want to ruin it, but I put it against my mouth. When I took it away, my blood was bright in the middle of the whiteness.
Liam set his glass up and said, “Get me some more beer, Val.”
Mama went to the fridge and took out a beer. She poured as much as would go into Liam’s, and then she topped up Kellen’s glass, even though it hadn’t fallen over. The Giant had stopped a train, calmed a wild beast, and didn’t even spill his beer.
9
WAVY
Mama was Old Val when she woke up the next morning. She shaved under her arms, between her legs, and all down them. After she curled her hair, she put on makeup and the tight clothes Liam liked. No breakfast for her, except for the pills that made her eyes sparkle and her hands float. I was waiting for her to leave the room so I could eat my oatmeal before it got cold.
“Come on,” Mama said. “Get your shoes on.”
No oatmeal. No school. I pulled on my boots, the good ones Kellen bought. Room to grow, he said.
“At least your hair’s combed,” Mama said.
It wasn’t, but Grandma said it was so fine knots couldn’t stay in it. Braids and ponytails slithered out of rubber bands like snakes.
Mama was at the door, ready to go.
“Donal,” I said. I think she really forgot about him.
“Shit. I must be losing my mind.”