He whirled around, muttering a string of foul language that zinged her ears. “She doesn’t know anything, does she?” he asked. “About me?”
Sydney prayed for calm to get through this. Already her idea of making him understand why she’d made such a decision burned in a cloud of smoke. Right now, he was wild, in pain, and ready to attack. She needed to keep her control so they didn’t begin screaming at each other, dragging them back into their past. “No. Jason got a job in Australia when she was six months old. We talked about trying to make it work long-distance, but we both knew the marriage was over. We decided it would be best if he stayed out of her life so she didn’t get confused. He’s remarried now with a child of his own. When Becca was old enough to ask questions, I explained her father lived far away for his job and couldn’t come home. I explained he may not be a part of her life, but she was celebrated the day she was born and she was a precious gift.”
“And she just accepted your weak explanation? Never asked why? Never demanded to see him or talk to him?”
She dragged in a breath. “No. But I’m preparing for when she begins asking more questions and know I’ll have to face a discussion when she gets old enough to truly understand.”
“What did you plan on telling her? More lies? Were you gonna pretend I never existed?”
She held her ground. “No. I knew one day the truth needed to come out, for everyone. I just wasn’t ready to face it all back then, and Becca was too young to understand. I thought you’d left for good, Tristan. When you came back because of your father’s will, you were so cold to me. To Becca. You ignored me and acted like you wanted nothing to do with either of us. I couldn’t take it. It was only recently when you began to mend our relationship that I knew the truth had to be told.”
He gave a bitter laugh, staring at her with disdain and resentment. “Must be nice to control it all, huh? You got to decide everything. I don’t think I believe you were going to tell me about Becca. If I hadn’t pushed this relationship forward, you would’ve kept the truth from me forever. Dear God, I’ve been back for two years! I sat next to Becca, talked to her, took her to that damn recital, and all the time she was mine. The only reason you finally decided this was a good idea is because we ended up in bed with each other.”
She winced but held firm. “I always intended to tell you eventually.”
“I don’t believe you. Do you know how much time I’ve lost? Time I can’t get back. Do you know what that feels like, Sydney?”
Eyes glittering with fury, he stepped toward her, his muscled body tight with drawn tension. “How would you feel if you found out you had a daughter and missed the first seven years of her life? Missed her first step, first word, first smile? And you had no choice, because the person you once trusted decided to keep her from you?”
Tears stung her eyes. “I would be heartbroken,” she whispered. “Angry. Full of pain. But I’m asking you to think back to that time, Tristan. I was so young, and scared, and our relationship had blown up after your mother’s death. I didn’t know what to do! The idea of you being trapped in Harrington, with me and a baby . . . That wasn’t your future. I knew it, and you knew it. You can tell yourself whatever excuses you need and blame me, but I made the best decision I could. I needed to make sure this baby felt loved and not like an accident. Becca will always be my first priority.”
He let out an agonized roar, and the tears flowed faster. God, she’d done this to him.
“You never gave me a chance. Even when I came back, and you had opportunities to tell me, you continued to lie.” He backed away again, his face haunted. “Even in bed, with me buried inside of you, thinking we had this connection nothing could break, you lied.”
A sob choked her. “I knew after that night together we had another chance. A chance to be a family. I wanted to tell you both the truth so we can move forward. Together.”
In that moment, it was as if all the emotion drained out of him, leaving him lifeless. It was more terrifying than the rage. He stared at the wall, his voice completely dead. “You took her away from me. You allowed me to treat her like a stranger, when she’s my flesh and blood—part of the Pierce dynasty—and I swear to God, I’ll never forgive you for that. Never.”
“Tristan.”
“No, you’re going to listen to me now. Because from now on, we’re done playing things your way. We’re done with you manipulating both of us. I’m going out for a while to wrap my head around this.”
“I understand. We can talk more later.”
“I can’t stand looking at you right now,” he said. The chill in his voice sliced her open and left her bleeding. “I need to get out of here before I do something I’ll regret.”
He never looked back. Just shut the door behind him.
Sydney slid down the wall and sank to the floor. Somehow, she had to stay strong. Convince him she’d made the best decisions for both of them at the time. Show him they could heal together and be a family.
Lowering her head on her bent knees, she prayed their second chance wasn’t gone forever.
chapter fifteen
He drove.
With no idea of his destination, he turned onto dark roads that seemed vaguely familiar and chased sanity. Like shadows, his thoughts leapt out of his grasp, leading him further into madness.
He was a father.
Her words spun in his brain, causing more havoc. That little girl belonged to him, and he’d been kept from her. He didn’t care about Sydney’s tangled rationalizations or excuses. He deserved a chance to be a father and hadn’t been given one. But underneath all the messy emotions lay the cord of rationale that would guide him through the chaos. He needed to rip away the pain, grief, and anger. He needed to make a decision on what to do next and where the future for all of them lay.
Her betrayal ate at his gut. God, how he’d trusted her. Believed in her. Believed in them as a couple. How stupid to think they could topple the past and build a future when it was all based on deceit. All this time he’d been patient, tearing down each one of her walls, pleasuring her body, and through every kiss, she’d known and deliberately held the most precious thing of all from him.
Family.
With shaking hands, he followed the twisting hill to the top and cut the engine. The spill of house and land soothed his ravaged soul, and he stumbled from the car, needing someone to talk to, someone who would keep him from drowning. The dogs barked crazily when he rang the doorbell, and when his brother flung open the door, they jumped on him in merry greeting.