“It’s all my fault,” she said as she searched out her clothes. “I started this.”
“It’s not your fault at all. I’m pretty irresistible when I want to be.”
Knowing he was trying to keep the light-and-easy thing going for her, she let out another laugh and shook her head. “And even when you don’t want to be,” she said. “The truth is I’m out of control when it comes to you.”
“Giving information to the enemy, babe.”
She clutched her towel to her chest and heard the truth escape her. “It’d help if you stopped.”
“Stopped what?”
She’d let her smile fade. “Looking at me,” she whispered. “Touching me, smelling so good . . . and breathing.” She offered a half smile, acknowledging the ridiculousness of the suggestion. “That would be really great.”
The corners of his mouth quirked slightly. “I’ll work on that.” He handed over her panties.
She shoved her feet into them and wriggled them on. Then she attempted to put on her bra, but it took two tries because it was tangled in her blouse. Frustrated, she tugged and tugged until Parker took them both from her fingers, righted everything, and handed them back to her.
Dammit. He was standing there quiet and utterly at ease in his own skin, and why shouldn’t he be. He was smart and sharp and funny and . . . perfect.
And he was leaving.
He was really leaving.
She kept telling herself that worked for her. She always had carried a bit of a trust issue, and she certainly hadn’t been looking for anything with him. But somewhere along the way, she wasn’t sure when, maybe when he’d hugged her silly dog for the first time, she’d started to trust him.
And now, as a direct result, she was falling for him. Only he had this expiration date, one that was flashing big, bright red warning signs at her with every breath.
Knees weak, she sank to the edge of the tub, unable to keep up any sort of pretense of having her shit together. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I thought I could do this, I really did. But I can’t.”
His smile vanished and his eyes went serious as he crouched in front of her, his hands on her knees. “I know,” he said just as softly.
“I mean, it’s good between us.” She gathered his hands in hers and let out a small, watery laugh. “Actually, it’s great. Which is what keeps tripping me up. I get all confused because my body’s emotionally invested and so my brain thinks it should be, too. It’s how I work, you know? But not you, which means you’re not The One. I wanted you to be, but you’re not, and I should’ve known from the very beginning because you weren’t the things on my list that The One was supposed to have. You’re all these other things like sexy and—”
He put a finger on her lips. “I know,” he said again.
She just stared at him and realized he wasn’t going to say anything else. He wasn’t going to dangle a carrot, or try to talk her into setting aside her needs for his.
Or tell her he couldn’t live without her.
Damn. She’d really sort of hoped for that, ridiculous as it seemed. Rising, she dropped his hands and dressed in silence, her throat getting tighter and tighter with each breath.
When she’d finished, he pulled her around to face him, waiting until she met his warm eyes.
“I wanted to be okay with this,” she said quietly before he could speak, and damn, her eyes threatened to fill.
Parker held her gaze. “I’m sorry, Zoe. You deserve better; you deserve someone who can give you what you want for the long haul.”
And that someone wasn’t going to be him. Unable to hold eye contact with him without dissolving into a sniffling mess, she dropped her head to his chest. She wanted to be mad, but he’d been open and up front and honest about their future—or lack of one—from the beginning.
And anyway, he was right. She needed to move on. She needed to go back to her plan. Lifting her head, she looked into his warm eyes and promised herself she’d do just that. She’d go back to the plan.