“I’ll never do it again, if that’s what you’re asking me. I won’t go back there.”
Not exactly an admission of regret, and she wanted to know. As frightened as she was to hear it, she wanted to know what he had done. She wanted to know his crime. She needed to know. As though it would complete her picture of what manner of man he truly was. As though hearing him admit it all would once and for all relegate him to a category marked DO NOT TOUCH.
“What did you do?” she whispered.
He said nothing for a while. The air crackled between them. The sounds of the television echoed within the space of her condo. She stared at the TV screen as though she wasn’t breathlessly waiting for his answer.
The silence ate at her, gnawing at her composure until she had to turn and face him.
His gaze was locked on her, his blue eyes bright and intense, his body wound tighter than a spring beside her. “You want to know what I did to get locked up?’
She nodded, unblinking.
“You don’t think I’m innocent? You don’t think it was a mistake?” He smirked, that corner of his mouth kicking up.
She lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “Was it?”
His lips curled now into a full--fledged smile that set loose dark and wicked things inside her. “No.” He inched closer, his big shoulders angling so he faced her more fully on the couch. His fingers brushed her cheek, making her skin pucker to gooseflesh. “You know what I am.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m guilty.”
“Guilty of what?”
“Murder.”
She gulped, fighting against the sudden lump in her throat. “Who?”
His gaze flicked over her face, assessing before he answered. “One night my cousin went on a date. She was seventeen. Shy. She hadn’t been on many dates. Never had a boyfriend before. This boy took Katie to a party where he raped her.” Briar inhaled sharply but said nothing, afraid that a word from her would put an end to the recounting. “Everyone at the party . . . his friends . . . they all backed him up and said she wanted it. That she had been all over him. It was her word against theirs. My brother and I paid the boy a visit to get him to admit what he had done to her. We wanted the truth out of him. We wanted him to stop lying.” He nodded, his gaze faraway, as if he was there now. “We went there to get him to admit what happened. We wanted justice for Katie. Yeah, we wanted to hurt him. I don’t deny it, but we didn’t set out to do that. When he started mouthing off and calling her dirty words and saying things about her—-” He stopped hard, his throat working as he swallowed.
“You killed him,” she finished.
He nodded tightly. “I just saw red. I lost control. I was young. Stupid. I caused my family so much pain.” He inhaled deeply. “Katie killed herself during the trial. It was all too much. It broke her.” Something sharpened in his eyes, a brightness that spoke of suffering. His family wasn’t the only one he hurt. He hurt himself. He still hurt. That much was clear. “I did that. I broke her. And I dragged my brother to prison with me. He was only eighteen, just following my lead.” His voice grew tight. Bitter emotion twisted his features. “And he’s still in there. While I’m out here. How messed up is that?” He laughed roughly. “I’m not in prison anymore, but I’m still paying for my crime. I’ll pay every day for the rest of my life.”
Before she could think, she was taking his face in both hands, running her thumbs over the planes of his cheeks. “No, it doesn’t have to be like that. You weren’t stupid, Knox. Just young, like you said. And hurt. You’re honorable. You’re a protector. There is good in you. The same goodness that saved me in the prison. Not just me, but Dr. Walker and Josiah, too. You could have just sat there and let them do—-”
“No,” he bit out. “The minute I heard what those guys were going to do, I made sure I got injured in a fight and taken to the HSU.”
She stared at him in shock, her stomach bottoming out. “You went in there on purpose?” It wasn’t some split--second decision on his part to step in and save them?
He nodded once.
She moistened her lips. “I didn’t know . . .”
He stared at her wordlessly, his gaze roaming her face.
Without thinking, she leaned in and kissed him. Softly, tenderly. Holding his face in her hands, she opened her mouth against him, not realizing until that moment that her face was wet, coated in salty tears.
His hands came up on either side of her head, holding her as she held him. His fingers brushed the tears from her cheeks and pulled her back so he could stare at her. “Why are you crying?”
She gulped back a sob, not understanding it entirely. His story, the truth of what happened to him and his family . . . that he got himself into the HSU deliberately for her. All of it tore loose something inside her and left her raw and bleeding. The only thing she could think to do was kiss him. As though that would somehow patch her up.