I cock my head. “Why? Would that have made a difference in whether or not you wanted to meet her? If you’re worried about her saying anything about you, you shouldn’t. She’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever had.”
It’s a full two minutes before Josh says anything. “She seemed friendly with Gary.”
I snort. It’s highly unladylike, but I can’t help it. “How can you even suggest that about my best friend? She hates him. Hates. More than she hates Drew, and I’m pretty sure she wants to shank him. And after all of the inappropriate things he said tonight, I’m surprised Drew didn’t blurt out something crazy when Gary came to the table.”
Josh’s brows draw tight. “Drew would never do that. He might seem like an ass, but he’ll take my shit to the grave.”
There’s an edge to his voice he’s never used with me before.
Raising an eyebrow, I cross my arms. Drew seems like a total and complete tool.
“How are you two friends again?” Because I don’t get it. Josh is refined and polite and conscientious, while Drew looks like he’s one of those douchebags who goes around kicking over people’s trash cans for the hell of it.
“We grew up together.” Josh shoots me an irritated look. “He knows what it’s like to be raised in a family like ours with the pressures we faced.”
In a family like ours.
It takes a moment to pinpoint why those words scrape against me like a Brillo pad.
Leaning my head against the window, I close my eyes, and it’s all there. The way my dad always looked so uncomfortable at my mother’s functions. The way she would talk about him to her friends when she thought no one was listening. How she rolled her eyes when he ordered a Budweiser since she only drank the best French vintages.
Once, right after my mom left us, I asked my dad how he could marry her if she was that way. He ran his hands over his face with a deep sigh and admitted she changed. That she had been on her best behavior until times got tough. Until he got injured and needed to take time off work, and without the overtime, he couldn’t get her the things she liked.
At the time, none of it made sense. How could she care more about French wine and expensive clothes when my dad worked himself to the bone to provide for us? And he told me, “Evie, when times get tough, you see people’s true nature. She was always this way. Only I was too blinded by love to see it.”
Honestly, my dad never looked like he fit in at those dinners, at the parties that revolved around caviar and the latest societal gossip.
Probably how I would look at those dinners.
I glance down at my Target-bought cardigan and clearance-rack skirt and know full well why Gary immediately contrasted me to Tiffany. I am different, and what Josh said just now makes me wonder if I’m fooling myself into thinking I’ll somehow avoid the pitfalls that doomed my parents’ relationship.
27
Josh
We’re just friends.
As I wind my car through the one-way streets of downtown, those words spin through my head like a deranged hamster on a wheel. I hated lying, but how else could I keep Gary the Cocksucker from snooping around Evie? As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have said them. But they’re out now, and they can’t be fixed. Final. Like spilled milk. Toothpaste out of a tube. Someone’s virginity. Gone and can never be put back.
Once I pull into my parking spot, I look over at her in the passenger seat. She’s clutching her purse like it’s a teddy bear, almost hugging it, and it breaks my heart. I hurt her by denying how much she means to me, when I want nothing more than to shout it to the world. I shake my head as I get out, disgusted with myself.
She knows I didn’t mean it. I was saying it for her. Protecting her. It’s what she wanted, right?
To be honest, I wish she’d spoken up for me the way she spoke up for her best friend. Told that SOB that I’m hers and he should fuck off. But that would only be in an alternate universe. Not the one we live in, where she’s an attorney and I’m her client. Where she can get in trouble for being with me.
God, tonight sucked balls. Stupid, drunk Drew making an ass of himself. Great first impression. And then learning that Evie’s best friend chums it up with the media and dipshits like Gary? Fuck.
Just friends.
She’s the furthest thing from being my friend. I’m so wrapped up in this girl, “friend” doesn’t come close to expressing what she means to me.
I glance at her. Her eyes are tight, her mouth a straight line. Is she just tired? Have I fucked us up? I take her hand, and we make our way to the elevator and up to the top floor.
We don’t say anything in the elevator. I give her hand a squeeze when we get to the top floor and let go.
As we reach my door, she glances over her shoulder at me with those intense eyes, which I can’t read. Is she angry? Weary? Exasperated?
We’ve always been able to talk, but for some reason tonight the words don’t come. I know I should talk to her. Explain that we’re so much more than fucking friends. Tell her that I love her. That she rocks my world with her love of roosters and her ancient dog and that sweet little smile that makes me want to count all of the freckles on her beautiful face.
Damn it. I still need to tell her about the article Gary wrote last week. I’m surprised he didn’t mention it at dinner. I guess I should be thankful for that. I don’t want Evie to feel blindsided by the stupid publicity my family and I get.
But the words lodge in my throat as I study her cool expression and the way she crosses her arms over her chest like she’s protecting herself.
By her silence.
I don’t want to make tonight worse. Resolving to hash out everything tomorrow sounds fucking brilliant.
Digging in the pocket of my pants, I pull out the key, unlock the door, and let her step in first to the darkened loft. Her ass swishes in that cute form-fitting skirt. Paired with a cardigan sweater, she’s got that sexy schoolgirl vibe going on. Add a ponytail?
I’m done. I’m hers.
I need to get this night out of my system. To reconnect with her before I go completely out of my mind. I need a reset. A redo.
With a flick of my wrist, I turn on the low lighting of my home, bathing everything in a warm glow. The city glitters outside the windows, drops of rain trailing down the panes of glass. She sets her purse down by the door and wanders to the window to look out at the lights highlighting the tall buildings and the red and white traffic blurring in the ever-present rain. I place my keys, glasses, and wallet on their tray, my eyes never leaving her.
I steal up behind Evie, wrap my arms around her waist, and kiss the side of her swan-like neck. Her dark ponytail swishes to the side as she reacts to my lips, exhaling a subdued sigh. Her fingertip traces the rain down the window.
“Want a drink, babe?” I murmur.
She shakes her head no.
I reach under her chin and tilt it up so she’s looking at me. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she says, her big gray eyes now tilting down. “Just… you were so quiet in the car.” It’s a statement, not an accusation.
“So were you.”