“Can’t argue that, girlfriend. Cannot argue with that.”
Tito had confirmed that whatever form of intergalactic squash had landed on Cradus, it wasn’t deadly. Well, he’d confirmed that it didn’t appear to be deadly to those of us not from Cradus. There were elements in the squash that he couldn’t identify, but none of them triggered the very sensitive multirace and multiplanet tox-screen that Drax had installed into Mother.
I’d found our volunteer in terms of testing whether or not this stuff was going to kill someone. He’d been very willing to volunteer, which was nice.
Thanks to Mother—though I really suspected it was thanks to Algar—our phones still worked to contact each other even on a moon made of all metal, so I’d called some of the others back, mostly so that Tito and I wouldn’t have to do the Moon Suit Dance until we knew if my plan was going to work.
So Reader had come back along with Joe and Randy. Fathade had insisted on coming with them. We’d been really worried about her being in our ship because it might hurt her, but she felt that she could adapt. So far, she seemed fine, which was a very good thing. She’d also brought along some extra Moon Suits, per my request.
Tito had the Test Squash laid out on a small platform that was under a clear safety dome. Picked up SuperBun and gave him a hug. “You’re a brave rabbit.”
SuperBun admitted that he was. He was also a hungry bunny, as were the rest of his people—Mother’s food wasn’t as satisfying as they’d expected.
Figured this was because of the Nazez black water. That it had altered the rabbits in some way seemed likely. That it worked as a healing medicine had been proven. Hoped that they still had whatever positive properties inside them. Maybe they’d never lose them—Hixxx hadn’t seemed to think they would, after all.
Tito raised the safety dome, I put SuperBun down on the platform, Tito lowered the safety dome.
SuperBun sniffed the squash. It smelled like food.
“We’re standing by with all the antivenom and such that we can think of.”
SuperBun appreciated our preparedness. He sniffed the squash again. Then took a nibble. Then another. So far, it was delicious and not upsetting his tummy.
He ate the whole thing. Then we waited.
“How long, do you think?” Joe asked.
“I know some mushroom poisons can take hours to affect whoever ingested them,” Randy added.
“Those people aren’t having all their vitals monitored,” Tito said. “We’ll know in another few minutes.”
They were a few long minutes, but ultimately Tito declared SuperBun safe. SuperBun requested another squash, just to be sure. Went and got it for him, using my bare hands. They remained unscathed, as did SuperBun, who ate the second orange squash as fast as he’d eaten the first.
“Okay, so I’m fine from touching it and SuperBun loves this stuff. We have, like, a thousand rabbits on board.”
More, SuperBun shared. And many of them were pregnant.
“Okay, we have a tonnage of bunnies here and soon to be here. This could be the easiest problem solve we’ve ever had. While we can try to harvest everything, it would be faster to let them loose and have them go chow down. But I’m not sure if they can do that, even if they can get a Moon Suit on.”
“They might,” Tito said thoughtfully. “I’m looking at SuperBun’s internal organs. They’re . . . stronger than a normal rabbit’s should be. At least as far as I know. As I keep on saying, I’m not a vet.”
“Sounds like you need to stop being a slacker and get trained in veterinary medicine. We have enough animals and no vet on staff. So, because I’m a thrifty FLOTUS, I’d prefer our White House Doctor also be the White House Vet.”
“Can’t wait,” Tito muttered.
“Great! Make it so. Get the rest of the White House medical staff trained, too.”
“Oh, yes, right away.” Tito, too, had a sarcasm knob. “The moment I can talk to them, that’s absolutely the first thing I’m going to say.”
“Speaking of which, Mother, were you able to send the message Stryker wanted?”
“Yes. Though I am not certain that a reply can reach us where we are. This system is blocked.”
“We have protective holograms, yes,” Fathade admitted, as if we hadn’t flown through them already.
“Let’s get back to the matter at hand,” Reader said briskly. “Can we put a Moon Suit on SuperBun and have it have a chance of working? If it works, can he ingest food through it and evacuate as well?”
“Gosh, no wonder you’re the Head of Field. You think of everything.”
“You weren’t the one who got the complaints about the rabbit poop, girlfriend.”
SuperBun apologized. The Poofs and Ginger had explained the concept of litter boxes and the rabbits were now all clear about where to go to clear out.
“The suits should enable that, yes,” Fathade said.
“Wow, really? You mean we could eat and drink and go to the bathroom in the suits? Wouldn’t that mean they get really, um, dirty?”
“No. The metal adjusts as needed.”
“I don’t think we want to eat anything from or on the planet,” Tito said. “Even if we can, it’s likely dangerous if we do. I suggest all meals be on the Distant Voyager.”
“What about drinks and snacks?”
“Why would you care about that?”
“Really? We have a ship full of bored people on it, and kids need snacks, and everyone needs water.”
“We have no water on our world,” Fathade said. “We have rubidium and mercury. Those are as water to us.”
“That settles it,” Tito said, before I could ask Fathade to give me a refresher course in chemistry and share what rubidium was. “No one eats or drinks on the moon. Period. People needing drinks and snacks can just come back to the ship or stay in it.”
Fathade cocked her head. “Oh, wait a moment. I am connecting with Feoren.” We waited a couple of seconds, then she nodded briskly. “Charles and Jeff have already had this discussion with the others. Serion may have the solution. We can create buildings that will shield you as the Moon Suits do. In those rooms you could remove the suits and eat and drink safely.”
“Like, a hundred percent safe? Jamie’s not the only small child with us, let alone everyone else on board. None of us want radiation poisoning.”
“This is true,” Mother said. “However, I have spoken with the others at Jeff’s request and I believe we can indeed create a safe room for those who leave the ship. I will ensure that rooms for evacuation are included in the creation.”
“Mother, you amaze me.”
“This form of creation is similar to what I do to create food and other needful things.”
“No, not about that.”
“The communication is simple for me, based on the fact that you have all worn the helmets and you have all lived inside the ship for long enough. Plus I have provided comm links.”
“Nope, not that, either, awesome though all that is. You’ve already mastered sarcasm. I’m impressed about that.”
“I live to serve.”