“They’re not traitors,” Chuckie said to Jeff. “So if you were worried that they did something intentionally, I can guarantee they didn’t.”
“I already covered that. Just so you know.” Hey, I had, might as well get credit for it.
“Yes, Kitty did support them, but it’s good to know that you have no worries about their loyalties, too,” Jeff replied. “But that still leaves us going across the galaxy to who knows where, due to who knows what or who. Any ideas, Chuck? I’m open to even the craziest ones.”
“That’s your wife’s bailiwick,” Chuckie said with a grin for me.
“All I’ve got is the firm belief that we’re going to be handling another problem whenever we get to wherever we’re going. Probably thanks to another superconsciousness of some kind. They seem to like being bossy. Speaking of bossy, where’s Mossy?”
“With Drax,” Reader replied. “Until the ship’s under control, Drax needs Mossy.”
“Good thing he snuck on board, then.”
“Speaking of those on board who weren’t supposed to be, the nonessential personnel are whining that they haven’t gotten to do anything.” Chuckie laughed. “And that’s more from the adults than the kids.”
“Mother, are we safe to leave the command deck? We do have position replacements who can cover. All of whom are better trained for this than me, Jeff, and Tito, by the way.” Wondered what she was going to say to this. Prior to our stop at Nazez the answer would have been no.
“No,” Mother said, as one of the lights on my control panel started blinking like crazy.
“Um, why not?”
“You need to answer the incoming transmission,” Mother replied. “It’s a distress call.”
CHAPTER 48
WE ALL STARED AT EACH OTHER. “Um, excuse me?” I said finally. Not the best comeback, but it did the job.
“We are receiving an incoming transmission. It’s going out over emergency channels.”
“Space has emergency channels? Seriously, I learn something new every day.”
“In a sense,” Mother said. “Please answer the call for help. I am trying to not become a HAL but the longer you delay, the more difficult it becomes to not take over.”
“Drax needs to work on that,” Reader said to Chuckie, who nodded.
“Worry about it later,” Jeff said. “Right now, there are people out there who need help.”
“Any idea where this is originating?” Cleared my throat, just in case.
“None. The signal is faint, however.”
“Should I take this alone or put it on speaker to the command deck?”
“I will ensure that the call is live to this section of the ship only.”
“Works for me.” Pushed the button down. “Hello, this is the Distant Voyager. How can we help you?”
There was garbled sound that sounded like bird caws and shrieks.
“I’m sorry. Please keep on speaking. Our Universal Translator will catch up eventually. We hope.”
Now it sounded like caterwauling. I should know—I sounded like this most times when Jeff and I did the deed. Which we had not done in, by my count, ages.
Jeff heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I know, baby.”
“Focus, you two,” Chuckie said. “And we all know you, so we know what the two of you are whining about.”
“Haters.”
Now we were getting barking. This was officially getting weird.
Still, tried to carry on. “You’re speaking with the command crew of the Distant Voyager. We’re from a planet called Earth, which is in one of the arms of the Milky Way galaxy. We’re far out there, and we used to think we were in the boondocks but we’re discovering that we’re not nearly as alone as we’d suspected. No idea where you’re at, because we don’t know where we are. Long story that I figure you actually can’t understand yet. We have some folks from other planets on board, too. This is a longwinded way of saying that you’re still not coming through intelligibly for us. Most of us don’t speak whatever animal dialects you’re trying. Go for your nearest Naked Ape language.”
There was silence. Then garbled noises that might have been pig snorting and might not have been. It was really hard to tell.
“We need Wruck here, pronto,” Jeff said.
“Hailing him now,” Mother replied.
“Maybe we need to talk more,” I suggested.
“That’s one of your areas of expertise,” Reader said, managing to keep a straight face. “And you’ve already done a bang-up job of it. So I say go for it, girlfriend.”
Wruck arrived. Chuckie filled him in on what was going on.
“Hilarious. Whoever’s on the other line, say the same garbled word or sound or whatever twice for yes and once for no. Got it?”
Two garbled noised that sounded alike came at me. No longer sounded like animal calls. So there was that. Looked to Wruck. Who shook his head.
“Awesome. Are you in danger?”
Two more garbled noises.
“Is the danger life-threatening?”
Two more garbled noises.
“Dang. Okay, do you know where in the galaxy you are?” If they could give us coordinates, surely we could figure them out.
One garbled noise. A pause. Then two garbled noises. “Gotcha, you’re not sure. Okay, um . . .” Looked at the guys. “I have no idea what else to ask in order to determine where in the galaxy they are. We have no idea where we are. We aren’t communicating clearly in this way. We have no idea what they want or how to figure out what they want or need, let along what we can do about it.”
“You can come and get us off of the rock we’re stranded on!” The voice sounded male and stressed. Not a surprise on the stressed.
“Well, it’s nice of the Universal Translator to finally kick in. How long were you able to understand me?”
“After you tried to tell us where you were from. You talked enough that we could get your language.”
“Um, don’t take this question the wrong way, but are you all animals there? Fur, feathers, claws, beaks, and whatnot?”
“No. I think we’re Naked Apes like you, at least if we understand the reference. We’re from a solar system filled with planets, all of which are animal-based.”
“Sounds like Alpha Centauri,” Chuckie said.
“Don’t know what or where that is,” whoever we were talking to said.
“How far from the galaxy’s core are you?” Chuckie asked.
“Far.”
“Earth is about twenty-six thousand light-years away from the core,” Chuckie said patiently. “How far is your star?”
There was silence for a few long moments. “We think we understand the unit of measurement. Our star is about thirty thousand light years from the core. But we’re not on our star. We’re farther than that.”
“Signal is getting stronger,” Mother said.
“You think this is who we’re being sent to help?” Tim asked.
“Maybe,” Chuckie said. “Are you on the galactic disk or the galactic halo?”
More silence for a few seconds. “We think we’re in the halo. Our home planet is on the disk. Again, we think, if we’re understanding you correctly.”
“Earth is on the disk, in one of the spiral arms.” Chuckie rubbed the back of his neck. “Mother, are you able to determine where we are?”