“About a sentient spaceship computer that goes nuts,” Tito added. Jeff’s expression went from confused to concerned.
“Stop stressing the President out.”
“Since when do you refer to me as the President? Ever, but especially in situations like this?” Now Jeff looked slightly pissed. Well, it was probably better than worried.
Time to focus on the real matter at hand—I’d curse about Drax another time, preferably in person so I might be able to kick him, too. “Mother, can you confirm if we have anyone injured or, ah, worse on board?”
“We have no serious injuries and no deaths,” Mother said. “We do have minor injuries.”
“Where and who?” Tito asked, Doctor Voice on Full. Mother didn’t reply. Tito asked again. Mother again didn’t reply. Got the proverbial bad feeling.
“Um, Mother? Why aren’t you answering Tito, who happens to be the ship’s doctor?” I mean, he was here, on the ship, and he was an amazing doctor and the official White House Physician, so I chose to officially give him the title for the Distant Voyager because it might be the only thing going on that made sense.
“Because I am not programmed to respond to anyone but those in charge of Communications.”
“Mother, will you talk to me?” Tim asked. Nada. “Mother, this is Commander Timothy Crawford. I was trained for the Communications role. Will you communicate with me?” Crickets.
Heaved a sigh. “Mother, if I take off this headset and give it to someone else, will you communicate with them?”
“No,” she replied.
“Why not?” I asked. “Isn’t the headset the thing?”
“Not really. I will only deal with the one assigned to Communications. That is you, I heard the Commander assign you that role.”
“It’s worse,” Tim said. “We’re trapped in a deadly version of Galaxy Quest and you’ve got the ‘talk to the computer’ role, Kitty. Live it up.”
“I blame you—you put me in this position. Oh, and apparently you’re the Commander for the ship now, Tim. Sending that ‘live it up’ right back to you.”
“How does this find our daughter and ward?” Jeff asked, Commander of the Free World Voice on Full.
“We’re just verifying things, Jeff. Mother, if I ask you nicely to respond to the others, can you or will you?”
“I can and will not. I am programmed to only communicate with you.”
Considered this. There was no way Drax had programmed this into his ship. I’d been on the helicarrier a lot, and nothing like this had ever been an issue. Meaning there was an outside influence at work here.
Decided to go with the crazy again. “What did either Charlie or Ixtha do to you?”
“I am not programmed to say.”
“Uh huh. What about Drax? Will you talk to him?”
“I am not programmed to do that anymore.”
Tim groaned. “So much worse.”
“Look at it this way,” Tito said, “we get to assign the rest of the ‘crew’ as we find the right people.”
“Maybe. Mother, is Jeff, the man holding Charlie, the only one who can give the orders to fire the weapons?”
“Yes.”
“Thank God I used to command all of Centaurion Division,” Jeff muttered. “I’d say I can’t believe this, but I can.”
“Mother, can you tell me where we’re heading?”
“We are going to help.”
“Help who?”
“Ixtha.”
Thought fast. “Mother, I need to speak to the White House again, please.”
“Hold on.”
Waited. Heard a phone ring. “White House Comm—”
“Walter, yay again. Look, where are Francine and Craig?”
“Ah, they’re back in the White House, Chief First Lady. They weren’t on the Distant Voyager and your Secret Service detail hustled them into the Beast and had them come home.”
“Awesome and I love Evalyne and Phoebe. I probably love Joseph and Rob, too, since I’m sure they’re in on it.”
“In on what?” Walter asked in unison with the men with me.
“In on what I’m thinking. Jeff, I’m rolling a plan.”
“Oh. Good. Are you planning to let me know what it is?”
“Sure am. Walter, I need to talk to Marcia and my Mom, hopefully before they’ve talked to the press.”
“They have not talked to any media or press yet,” Walter confirmed. “Connecting you to the OSR now.”
“Great, Walt, stay on the line.”
“I will do. You’re on with the OSR.”
“Kitty? What’s up now?” Marcia asked.
“I have a plan for what to do.”
“Ah, we have a plan in place.”
“Does my mother think that plan will work?”
“You’re on speaker now. No, Angela isn’t thrilled with the plan.”
“Hi kitten, how are things?”
“The usual, Mom. I have a feeling we’re going to be gone longer than will be good for anyone. On the plus side, I think I have the fix.”
“We’re all waiting with breathless anticipation. You have me, the Secretary of Education, and the Joint Chiefs, only, in the room right now.”
“Great. So, from this moment forward, what’s going on is going to be of the highest security clearance—as in, I want no one other than the people in the OSR and Walter aware of what’s going on. Walt, who else in Centaurion Division knows what’s going on, besides you?”
“No one, Chief First Lady. I haven’t actually had time to advise Dulce because they’re focused on coordinating crowd control at the site of the President’s speech, as well as going to provide protection for those alien races already being threatened by this situation.”
“Super. Walter, you’re going to keep it that way.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Mom, Marcia, those in the room, I want to hear the joyful chorus of the highest security clearance being confirmed and that you all swear that you’re not going to share this with anyone else at all, barring the people I’m going to tell you to bring in.”
Got the required responses. “Kitten, do you actually have a plan to share or are you just stalling until you come up with something?”
“That hurts, Mom, it really does. And yes, I have a plan. But before I share it, I’d like you to have the Secret Service bring the President and First Lady to join you.”
CHAPTER 13
THERE WAS SILENCE IN the room and in the command center.
“Oh!” Mom caught on first, not that this was a surprise. “I like it, but it might not work.”
“It will work because I’ll give you the party line as soon as the President and First Lady are with you. Be sure that you’re asking for them in that way.”
“Will do, kitten. Hold on, I’m contacting your Secret Service detail now.” Heard Mom asking things in a very careful way. Looked at what I was pretty sure was the asteroid belt while waiting. Mentally requested that the men with me could hear the call. Reactions said that they could. Then she was back. “The Secret Service was able to react quickly enough to get the President and First Lady off of the Distant Voyager. However, there’s an issue.”
“They couldn’t get the First Kids off, and that’s fine, Mom, because that’s all part of my ingenious plan to confuse the media.”
“You want Craig and Francine impersonating us?” Jeff asked, sounding shocked.