“You could be fired if you’re not careful.”
“I know where the bodies are buried, I’ll risk it. At any rate, part of my reason for going to the kitchens was to ensure that I found out, too late gosh darn it, that there was food ingested by the princesses that will not agree with them. Rahmi is going to ‘take ill’ and stay in the royal suite Renata and the princesses have been assigned to. Then she’ll shift into Camilla and be there with Francine. Rhee is also going to feel poorly and stay in the room with her sister. She’ll be going with you.”
“What about Renata?”
“She’ll be with Francine.”
“Not arguing. One Amazon is a lot better than none. What about Richard?”
“He’s more problematic. Because he was the A-C’s former religious leader, it makes sense for him to stick around and help Paul. However, Richard is insisting on going with you. We haven’t found a workaround that we like.”
“Who’s ‘we’? I’ll wager Richard already suggested this—his presence decreases Paul’s authority. So, as a good retired Pope With Benefits, he needs to hang out in the palace, or wherever we’re going to say Team Commando is, so that Paul’s authority isn’t questioned during this delicate time.”
“Wow. I see why you two partner together so well. That is almost word for word what he said. Malcolm wasn’t thrilled with it.”
“Malcolm would prefer to do all this by himself or with just Siler and Wruck along. Tough cookies, we’re going with Richard’s excuse and he’s with me. So, Team Commando is a team of thirteen, I think that’s probably enough.”
“Per Malcolm, it’s more than double the number he’d like to be rolling with.”
“As I said. Per me, I want everyone already listed in my Baker’s Dozen plus players to be named later.”
“I know, and so does he.”
“Starting with my Reptilian Soul Sister.”
Received an eye roll. “Yes. Jareen voiced her opinion, as did Wahoa and Felicia. However, we had them come along to show that aliens are nice, and if they’re off kicking butt with you, then they cannot do that. I realize everyone would like to leave the cute and cuddly work to Bettini, King Benny, and Mossy, but, trust me, those three are needed as well. With Team Subterfuge. Period.”
“You truly live to take the fun out of everything, don’t you?”
“That’s me.” Vance heaved another sigh. “I heard from Stryker.”
“What’s the good word?”
“He has news for you on the search you had him and the rest of them doing. News he won’t share with anyone but you, because all of the hackers are lunatics of the highest order.”
“No, they’d think this entire place was bugged, too.”
“Hilarious. It is bugged, so perhaps they’re not lunatics but truly paranoid for all the right reasons. Stryker’s also aware of what you’re planning, because he knows you. Not specifically, mind you, but his guess was good. He wants you to talk to him before you roll anything.”
“Why?”
Vance shot me the “really?” look. “Because he’s thought things through.”
“What things? As in, what are you trying to tell me not at all clearly?”
“Oh, nothing much. Other than, you know, one of the people you’re likely going after with intent to exterminate is Chernobog’s son.”
CHAPTER 56
CHERNOBOG WAS THE NAME of the world’s greatest hacker. Thought to be a myth Russian hackers used to scare their kids into behaving, we’d discovered that not only was Chernobog real, but the greatest hacker in the world was an old lady who looked like Everybody’s Grandma.
She’d been working against us, which was why we’d been hurt so badly during Operation Infiltration. But we’d found and captured her during Operation Defection Election. Circumstances had caused her to flip to our side, and us saving her life while also faking her death—and giving her the greatest setup a hacker could want along with a cadre of loyal sycophants in Hacker International as part of the package—had made staying with us and staying loyal to us something Chernobog found more than acceptable.
Olga had known her back in their heyday in the KGB. They’d been frenemies and then enemies, but age and circumstances had now made them friends.
“What does Olga say?”
“I anticipated that question and with Adriana gone, I had Malcolm contact Olga, since you seem to think that he and Mister Joel Oliver get her clues the fastest.”
“They do and MJO is probably pretty busy right now.”
“He is. He’s on the Coast Guard ship with your husband and the others, getting ready to get the story of a lifetime. Which, all things considered, is impressive, since he’s already gotten every other scoop that matters.” Vance was an MJO fanboy of the highest order. I found it to be one of his more endearing traits, and Oliver certainly appreciated the love, since Vance had been fanboying at him long before the A-Cs had been outed to the world.
“Okay, so what did Malcolm get from Olga?”
“That you need to call Chernobog.”
“Really? That’s it?”
“Yes. Be sure to do it the moment you’re back in your room.”
“Will do. Anything else I need to know?”
“No, but we need things. None of us look like natives. Team Commando needs papers to travel back and forth between the countries we all know you’re going to make them travel through. Yours cannot show you to be the First Lady or we’re all dead. By the way.”
“Gotcha. I’ll ask Raheem for help with that. What else do we need?”
“Raheem? I’m impressed. Sleep with him if you need to, because your team needs transportation of all kinds.”
“And scuba gear, too. You can run the idea of me sleeping with Raheem by Jeff. Let me know how that conversation goes.”
“Ha ha ha, this is me laughing at that idea. And I truly don’t want to know why you want scuba gear and am ever so grateful that I’m vital to Team Subterfuge. At any rate, ask your new bestie for whatever he can give us and be sure you have enough for that baker’s dozen, and extra oxygen tanks. As a reminder, your team can’t be officially known to be doing this.”
“Right, we have to do it Mission: Impossible style.”
“Stop sounding jazzed about it.”
“Can’t, sorry. Okay, text me with whatever we need.”
Got a shot of the “really?” look. “Texts can be hacked. So, no. Have Camilla do information transfer.”
“Gotcha, M.”
Vance grinned. “I’m happy to be the spy who stays in the warm and does the paperwork. People rarely die from that.”
“Don’t say things like that. It’s tempting fate.”
“Duly noted. So, I’m going to get you back to Raheem so that you can continue whatever the two of you are doing in there aside from eating your weight in finger foods.”
“We’re plotting, actually. He’s on our side. And you’re just jealous.”
“Guilty as charged. At least in terms of the foodstuffs and opulence. By the way, assume that he went through your bags and planted bugs.”
“He’s the king, why would he do that?”