Andrew glares at me, but his expression softens again when he glances at Raychel. It pisses me off. “Nathan and Eliza are in town,” I say, trying to distract her. She makes a face. “Do you want to go hiking today?”
Mom clears her throat. “Have you talked to your mom, Raychel?”
She pokes at her pancakes. “This morning. She’s working all weekend and said I should come home tomorrow and talk.” I think Raychel’s lying, but Mom nods and they exchange a look that’s almost as annoying as Andrew’s staring.
“So you want to go?” I ask. Raychel shrugs and turns to Andrew, who nods. “Great,” I say, pretending not to be annoyed. “I’ll grab some supplies.”
I didn’t want Andrew to come. I wanted to talk to her alone, somewhere neutral and chill, and in the car after a relaxing hike seemed ideal. But my little brother still follows me everywhere like a shadow.
RAYCHEL
I don’t regret a single thing, except for one: I woke up beside Andrew, and at first I thought he was Matt.
It made me realize that we still have a thing or two to work out. I need to tell Andrew about the post-nightmare bed sharing. We need to have a real discussion about what our relationship is going to be, and how we’re going to tell his brother and his parents.
But while I’m not looking forward to telling Matt, it sounds better than hiking—I’m sore and bleeding a little, and still wearing the same jeans from Thursday. Matt goes upstairs to get dressed and I take the opportunity to glare at Andrew. “Hiking?” I whisper.
“Sorry!” Andrew squeezes the back of his neck, leaving his elbow next to his face. “I thought you wanted to go!”
“Not really,” I say. “But look—we have to tell him,” I say firmly.
Andrew lets go of his neck to pinkie swear. “Tonight.”
*
I wash my face and spend a few minutes puttering in the bathroom. Thank goodness Mrs. R. keeps tampons and pads under the sink. She started stashing them there after I had to ask, humiliated, for supplies and a change of shorts when I was fourteen. Worse, she wasn’t even here—I had to ask Dr. R.
Matt’s waiting in the hall when I emerge. “You ready?”
I can’t meet his eyes. “Yeah.”
“We can go to Roger’s Hollow if you want,” he says, stepping forward.
I shake my head. “Eagle Point’s fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He coughs. “I’m sorry. About last night.”
“We need to talk about it—” I start, but he interrupts.
“I didn’t mean to insult you, or your mom.” He squeezes his eyes shut and opens them. “It’s just that I…” He’s leaning closer to my face. Alarm bells start to ring in my head, but I can’t believe their warning.
Matt wouldn’t try to kiss me.
Still, I step back on instinct, bumping into the wall. “We can talk later, okay?”
“Okay.” He closes the distance and kisses me on the forehead, which is somehow more devastating than the lips. “We’ll talk after the hike, okay?”
I nod, but panic starts to rattle in my stomach. Yeah. We’ll talk. But it won’t be the conversation he’s anticipating. And so much worse than the one I expected.
MATT
Dad hands me the speeding ticket as we leave. “You’re paying it.”
“You got a ticket?” Andrew bellows, whooping.
“Yeah.” My face flushes, as if it’s not already red enough from botching yet another opportunity to kiss Raychel. At least she didn’t seem to notice.
“For jaywalking?” Andrew asks.
I flip him off. “For speeding.”
“Last night?”
I don’t answer and no one speaks much from that point on, not on our way through town, and not on the twisting highway that takes us east into the National Forest. Raychel gave Andrew shotgun and they both stare out their windows. For once, he picks something mellow to listen to, a folksy band perfect for a gray fall day, and everything feels okay. I know it’s not yet, but it will be.
*
Nathan and Eliza meet us at the trailhead, which is really just a wide spot in the gravel road. The threat of rain means the trail is mostly ours, with just two Subarus, a truck, and a Hummer besides our cars. Raychel hangs back, digging through her pack, while Andrew and I greet our friends.
“Aw!” Nathan reaches up to give Andrew a noogie. “You’re getting so big!” he says in baby talk.
“Hell,” Andrew says, pretending to twist Nathan’s arm behind his back. “I could’ve kicked your ass three years ago.” Nathan is short, with a chest as wide and hairy as a gorilla’s. I wouldn’t take bets on the winner if he and Andrew did tangle for real.
Eliza stands to the side, kicking pebbles. “Hey guys,” she says when the roughhousing ends. “How’s it going.”
It’s not a question, but I answer anyway. “Good. You?”
She shrugs. I’m sure Nathan had to sweet-talk her into coming. “Where’s Asha and Spencer?”
She never says Asha’s name right, pronouncing it ash-uh instead of ah-sha. “Couldn’t come.” I hoist my pack higher and adjust the straps. “Asha flunked some midterms, so they’re studying.”
“Hm.” She points to my back. “Did you pack your whole house in there?” Before I can answer, her birdlike face twitches into a closed-mouth smile. “Raych!” she says, arms flung out. “Look at you!”
She probably doesn’t mean that in a nice way. Raychel looks like hell. Puffy eyes, hair messy, wrinkled jeans, Andrew’s shirt hanging out under her hoodie. I want to slide an arm over her shoulders like a shield against backhanded compliments, which are the only kind Eliza gives, but Nathan buries her in a bear hug. “How’s my girl?”
Her eyes flicker to me for a millisecond as she hugs him back, making my face flush. After a moment, he holds her at arm’s length and stares. “How’s your ankle? I heard you hurt it.”
“It’s okay now.”
“Yeah? You sure you can keep up?”
She gives him a playful shove. “To hell with my ankle,” she says. “Let’s go.”
“To hell with it,” Andrew echoes, and laughs. She gives him a small smile.
“Attagirl.” Nathan winks and swings an arm around Eliza. But Andrew stays with me, patting his pockets.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I lost my pipe.”
“Only users lose drugs,” Nathan calls, starting down the trail.
Andrew snorts and follows him. I stop Raychel as she passes. “You don’t have to carry a pack,” I tell her. “You can put your stuff in here if you want.”
She shakes her head. “I can carry it.”
“You sure?”
Her eyebrow rises. “You want to carry my tampons?”
She knows I don’t care, but Andrew makes a weird sound, so I make a face. “Fine. You win.”
RAYCHEL
The valley spreads out below us, white fog floating among the orange and red and yellow. Green-gray stone juts out against the lighter gray sky. Eagle Point sticks out the farthest, like the beak of a limestone bird above the trees and clouds, refusing to let water and wind wear it down.